How often do you date? - Love Forum

autobahn · #1 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 05:09 PM

Men: how often do you approach prospective women and of those you approach, how many do you ask on dates? How successful are you (what is your batting average)?

Women: how often do men ask you on dates? And how often do you accept?

I mainly have to approach random people so they are less likely to be receptive to me as opposed to friends of friends, but maybe I'll ask out 20 women in a year (and flirt with 40 or so) and get 3 dates. I've never had role-models for this sort of thing so I don't know what batting average to expect as reasonable.

Some of my female friends are only asked about 4 times a year, and they never turn down a date unless the guy is a total creep.

What are your experiences like?

GBRaul · #2 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 08:39 PM

I have only approached one before. 0% success rate.

KirstyM · #3 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 09:17 PM

Nobody has directly approached me, several guys have asked my friend to ask me if I'd be interested but unless theyre going to approach me themselves I'm not. I have a habit of falling for people who are the wrong age, gender, etc....

GBRaul · #4 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 09:23 PM

Wrong gender? Oh my...

KirstyM · #5 (**permalink**) 06-09-04, 09:27 PM

I'm bi - bad habit of falling for straight females or gay males....

Fawn · #6 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 12:04 AM

I used to approach guys alot. I'm generally slightly crazy from what my friends tell me. lol. I used to be shy when it came to approaching guys. Then around grade 12 it hit me. Whats the point of hiding feelings? May as well just let it out, so you don't have to obsess over someone. Then you might lose your chance. So I would basically just come out of nowhere and tell the guy that I liked him and asked him if he wanted to go out for coffee.

Oddly enough, I have a 75-80% success rate. I dunno, maybe guys do like the assertive type? lol. It surprises them, thats for sure. I have been asked out a few times. I usually went for it if I found some attraction/chemistry to him.

Ratfish256 · #7 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 12:49 AM

That would work with me 100% of the time, I hate doing all the damn work.

pofforandy · #8 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fawn

I used to approach guys alot. I'm generally slightly crazy from what my friends tell me. lol. I used to be shy when it came to approaching guys. Then around grade 12 it hit me. Whats the point of hiding feelings? May as well just let it out, so you don't have to obsess over someone. Then you might lose your chance. So I would basically just come out of nowhere and tell the guy that I liked him and asked him if he wanted to go out for coffee.

Oddly enough, I have a 75-80% success rate. I dunno, maybe guys do like the assertive type? lol. It surprises them, thats for sure. I have been asked out a few times. I usually went for it if I found some attraction/chemistry to him.

Yeah, my ex-g/f is the one who actually asked me out. Well, it was more of an open invitation to hang out with her and her friends. I didn't ask for her number or anything, and she gave it to me. We got along really well for 2 months but it got a little too serious, too fast.

I wish I would have taken more time with her...

autobahn · #9 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 04:37 AM

I guess I ask for other peoples experiences because I move around often and work in a male dominated field, thus if I want to meet women I pretty much have to approach random people and I have maybe 3 minutes to make an impression, find some common ground, and determine if I'd like to meet them again. In this situation, I'm going to be shot down, repeatedly. The problem is, the constant rejection hurts my self esteem, and thus I probably appear anxious in my approach, which makes me even less successful. Negative feedback.

Hopefully now that I live in a stable place and am beginning to develop friendships, I'll meet some people who I can connect with and have better success. A little success will really help my confidence regarding relationships. In every other area of my life, my self esteem is high. I'd like to get a 50% success rate for a first date if I know the women I ask out are single; of course, sometimes you can't tell.

KalCarter21 · #10 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 04:58 AM

Think of it this way dude, dating is like baseball right, first your a senseless rookie making error after error, but if you keep it up you'll be a pro. Don't worry about rejection, it happens. Anyway aside from the bad anology it's good you want to try for a higher success in dating, most guys just give up after 1 or 2 rejections.

KirstyM · #11 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 09:00 AM

Yeah besides all those rejections will be worth it in the end when you do find someone. Dont think of it as rejections, think of it more as you took a shot and it didnt quite work out, but just move on and dont stress over it, it happens to everyone, and if you're approaching random people anyway you're never gonna see the person who rejected you again.

sfalexi · #12 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 01:12 PM

"You miss %100 of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky

Jenrick285 · #13 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 01:24 PM

Sfalexi said it so true...

The worse they can say is no, but you should have the mind set when you approach her as if she's going to say yes =)
I guess mine is like maybe 10%? one or two out of 10? Most of my friends is about there, some more, some less. Don't forget too, it depends on the place, atmosphere too... I.e. I haven't had much success in picking up a girl at an Emergency Room >.<

GBRaul · #14 (**permalink**) 07-09-04, 04:18 PM

I've only seen one worth approaching lol. Maybe there's something wrong with me... I don't know. Or maybe it's cos for some stupid reason I don't want to elaborate on here I kept it in me for 3 years before I did anything and during that course of time of course I wasn't looking out for anyone else. Regret it now, but anyway I'm still young lol.