Married Men or Women..whats the attraction? - Love Forum

jane · #1 (**permalink**) 08-09-04, 08:00 AM

I have brought this subject up before but I guess Im just really curious about the whole concept of dating a married man. Whats the attraction?
Are we afraid to date someone who is free due to commitment issues? Or is it the allure of being caught and the taboo that makes women and men do this?

In away, I can totally understand the attraction.. its forbidden and even some what romantic but my catholic guilt and my mind both say the same thing... MARRIAGE VOWS ARE THE REAL DEAL.. you stood before god and your family and friends and said... DEATH DO US PART... I mean, isnt that huge? You swore yourself.. all of you.. to someone doesnt that mean anything?

If any of you are married out there I would love to hear your thoughts about this... ever thought about it? Did you act on it? and the big question... WHY?
I think this is a very interesting subject and in all truthfullness.. I have been there. I have never really acted on it.. but I thought about it.

Please take this for what it is.. dont bitch me out becuase I am asking .. its an honest question and I think we all can be adult about it. I know the obvious.. its wrong.. we all know that.. i want to hear from people who are or have been thinking about it and what you did?

:

KirstyM · #2 (**permalink**) 08-09-04, 08:13 AM

Personally I wouldnt get involved with someone married, so I dont really know, I imagine it to be - as you say - the forbidden thing and the fact it's commitment-free (although that can backfire on you). The thing that would put me off is the obvious guilt knowing they had a husband/wife and possibly children, a family which this would ruin if it was exposed. I kind of think of married men as no go areas.

Jenrick285 · #3 (**permalink**) 08-09-04, 08:57 AM

We're always attracted to the ones we can't seem to have, I think its the challenge or trying to obtain the unobtainable etc.
Fortunately I can say I haven't been tempted by a married man, but I also don't believe you have to be catholic, or very religious to know that there's something wrong. If they were really that unhappy, why are they still in it?
Masochism? Perhaps they're into that kinda think =p

Thats how I sorta think of it =)

Nice Lover Boy · #4 (**permalink**) 08-09-04, 02:18 PM

**raises up his hand**
Well....umm....I think I'm a target on this topic so I am gonna answer.
I have been with married women and the attraction for me was because I knew that married women knew how to make perfect love. The thought of her going to bed with the husband never comes to mind. Ofcourse I am young and my youth agrression begs me to make love. But how can a married women commit and brake a bond with me? I dunno? It's just funny when the woman I am with gets a call on her cell and ends the call with, "I love you too". lol. Hey, I'm not the bad guy here, I'm just helping her perfect her sexual mechanics. But attraction has to do alot with breaking a special bond that 2 commited in marriage.

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 09-09-04, 12:22 PM

hahah... this IS my subject. i always find the ones that are already either interested in another person, just getting over a relationship, OR already in a relationship. speaking of my last two relationships, the second to the last one, she had just gotten over her bf, and ultimately went back to him.

the last relationship, remember my cloud 9 thang?? well after dating her, i guess she never really broke it off with her bf, and later she finds out that she was pregant. good thing it wasn't mine, that's all i have to say. yeah it does sound mean, but hey, i never had sex with her.

i think the most part that gets to me in the challenge. it's how far you can go to actually get what you want. or how you can manipulate the situation to turn things in your favor. yeah i know it's mean because it sounds like a want to break out a relationship but that is only half of it. there is always that "what if" portion. some couples are so fragiel that they only stay together because they don't know any other. they are afraid to be single because they have never been single for more than a month at a time, i dunno the reason, but there is always a clause.

i think for the most part, whether it's the guy or girl, whoever is single, they want comfort in another person. usually married people are looking for comfort too because they cannot get this from their mate. both turn to each other knowing it's wrong, but it feels so good at the moment. that's right. people live for the moment. i think that's all that it comes down to. that reminds me, you should want "terminal" if you haven't already. raverboy

jane · #6 (**permalink**) 05-10-04, 07:07 AM

ok.. sorry to dig this up.. but I have to come clean.

About a week ago .. I was hanging out with a bunch of friends. This guy I work with, invited me over to a friends house to help finish off a keg from the night before. There were about 8 people there.. watching the game.. shooting the shit talking about all sorts of things.. just having a good time.

Well..it was getting late and I have to get up kinda early from work so I said my goodbyes and my friend walked me to my jeep.

WE flirt all the time. Its mutual. I have no idea if it was the beer.. ( I was sober he was kinda drunk) .. or what.. but he gave me a really passionate kiss and I didnt push him away. Anyway, one thing led to another and we fooled around .. but we never had sex.

The thing is .. he is married .. and well, like I said .. I was the sober one and I have no regrets about it but I am feeling like I have no "closer" either .. if that makes sense. I am not one of those people who hops into that kinda of thing lightly and now I am having feelings for him...

I need some good advice here. I feel like I need to talk to him and at the very least explain whats going on in my head but I dont want him to get "wierd" either? Any suggestions?