| Is she not interested? Hello all
I've recently found myself falling in love with a co-worker... We've worked at the same place for about 1½ years, but as we're in different departments we haven't really taked that much. Besides that I should probably mention that there's a bit of an age difference. A little more that 7 years in fact. I'm 21 and she's 28 and has a 6 yearold son. I, on the other hand, have never had a girlfriend yet, but only flirted with a couple of girls (in spite of that, I see myself as a normal person with a normal social life, and average looks). Anyway, heres the story:
About a month ago there was a company party which we both were at, and got pretty drunk. When the party ended (it was held at the company), I, her and two others continued partying at the nearest bars together. I live approximately 30 miles from where we work and she lives quite a bit closer, so I spent the night at her place. We arranged this while still at the company party, before I decided to continue partying instead of taking the bus home like most others.
Unfortunately at this point my memory fails me, and most of the time we spent at the bars I only remember in glimpses because of the alcohol. I remember that we were kissing at some point though, but that's about it. By the time we were on our way to her place I was sobering up a bit, so I know for a fact that nothing more happened that night.
The next morning when we woke up, we spoke like nothing happened and I had just spent the night there because of the convenience of not having to take a cab home at 6 am. We talked a bit over a cup of coffee while waiting for one of her friends to come by with her car so she could drive me home. On the way home she brought up that now our colleagues would probably talk about us, and I said to let them talk.
You should know that at our company we often give each other a rough time and make fun of each other (not meaning anything by it though), so I too kind of expected to get picked on. And I did, but that's not the point.
The next couple of days I went to her department and we talked a bit, but only regular chit-chat. I asked her what she was doing in the weekend, but unfortunately she was going to a family get-together. The next couple of weeks we've talked regularly, but we have no place to be alone at work so we usually just talk about nothing. The same kind of stuff I would talk to any other co-worker about. One Friday she asked me if I was going to go see a race that Sunday, but I had to work so I told her that. Then Saturday evening I was told that it wasn't necessary for me to go to work on Sunday anyway, so I decided to go see the race (mostly because of her being there). I went there with another colleague (who had also asked me if I was going) and two other friends. If I'd had her number I would've called her and went with her instead. Unfortunately we never meet at the racetrack, but the following week we talked and she had been there with her son.
Then last weekend the company had arranged a survival-trip (basically it's a weekend of military-like activities like sleeping outdoor, building rafts and so on), where we ended up in the same group (they where pre-made).
This meant that we spent the next 48 hours together. The trip included a lot of walking and the two of us usually walked together a little away from the rest of our group, talking about all sorts of things and got to know each other a little. When the trip was almost over I invited her to go streetracing with me two weeks later (next friday) in a bigger town quite a drive from where we work. The reason for picking next friday and not this friday is that she works one week of normal day-shifts and then a week of evening shifts where she doesn't get off until 10 pm. I had been in the other town racing a week earlier and when another colleague I had with me had told her about the trip she had made no doubt that she would've liked to have been there (she has told me this too). She said that she'd like to go, but that she had her son that weekend. I told her to take him with us (he was at the racetrack so he must think fast cars
are cool), but she didn't think he would be able to stay awake that late. She said she would ask her mother to take care of him, and that she'd go. YAY!
During this week we've talked nearly every day. Generally since the party I've been trying to talk to her every day, staying a bit longer the weeks where she's working the evening shifts. Some days it has been 100% work related talk but usually we've talked a bit about other things too. Most of the time I make it look like I'm going by her department anyway and then stop and talk to her on my way by. The reason that it's me going to her all the time is that the department I'm in is management-wise higher in the hierarchy, so workers from her department is almost never at my department, but there are people from my department in her department several times a day. The relationship I have with people in her department in general though, is not as their superior but as their equal.
Then I invited her to a car-meet this Sunday but it turns out that she has her son this weekend too (she might be picking him up Sunday, and having him the whole next week, I don't know). It's quite a drive to the meet, so I told her that I'd like to go, but don't want to go alone so I probably wont. She told me that she was sorry she couldn't come, but that she was looking forward to the racing next friday.
I then had the co-worker who was with me to the streetracing in the other city, who is living close to where we work, arrange for some streetracing in the area this evening (Friday). Then today when I was in her department doing some work, planning to tell her about the racing this evening, she came to me and told me that unfortunately she couldn't go with me next Friday. She had to go some family get-together again. I said it was ok and told her that we were going to be racing in the area tonight and that if she'd like I could call her later and tell her where it was so she could join when she got off from work. She told me right away (no thinking about it or anything) that she couldn't with such short notice.
I was pretty down about the whole thing, but I had arranged with yet another coworker, who was working the evening shift this week too, that I would call him and tell him where we were racing so he could join later. I then planned to just go pick him up when he got off instead, so that I might be able to talk her into joining us anyway.
It then turns out when we got to the place we agreed to meet that everyone had taken off for the other town this evening. We then drove to our workplace, and I told her that I would probably go race in the other town tonight, but she still couldn't come. Then after asking a couple of other people I drove home and that's where I stand now.
I feel overwhelmed with all the rejections I've been getting from her the last couple of days, and I'm starting to doubt if she likes me the same way I like her. I know that her son will always be her first priority, and I respect that and I wouldn't want it any other way.But we've never once talked about the night after the party, and what happened. I don't know if it's because she too was too drunk to remember exactly what happened, or if she remembers everything clearly and just doesn't mention it.
Phew, that took some time to write... It actually helped just putting it down in words and going over everything once more, but I hope someone can give me some good advice too.  |
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