Can you love someone and not find them attractive? - Love Forum

Laconic · #1 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 10:14 AM

Is it possible to be unsatisfied with your significant other's looks and still love them? I have been with this girl for over a year, and have very strong feelings for her, and she is the most compatible person I've ever met, male or female, and we have a great time together... but I sometimes wish she was more attractive. I wish it wasn't an issue for me and I wish I could just not think about it or ask for more, but it has consistently come up for me while being with her. If I'm planning on being with someone for the rest of my life, does it ultimately matter? Anyone have an opinion?

Amyejean · #2 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 10:28 AM

No I don't think so...cause if you love someone you love them unconditionally (sp) no matter what they look like or act like. When you love someone, physcially attrbutes dont matter, just the fact that you love each other and you enjoy each others company.
I think you are self-concious about the way she looks. You may love her but deep down you are ashamed to be with her...hard to explain.

Amye

#3 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 10:29 AM

i'm in love with my g/f but sometimes i find her unattractive. VERY RARELY though. i usually don't get involved with anybody to begin with if i find them unattractive, but that's just my smart ass..

moeburn · #4 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 11:20 AM

I asked myself the same question the other day. I decided on this:

MOST successful relationships rely on an even balance between:
a) Commitment
b) Friendship
c) Lust

NonPoint · #5 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 11:35 AM

When you are both 95 and wrinkly looks won't matter, only that you are in love.

KirstyM · #6 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 01:48 PM

My partner isnt the most attractive guy around but I love him so to me he is attractive in a different sort of way.

Laconic · #7 (**permalink**) 15-10-04, 01:56 PM

I'm definitely not ashamed of her at all, shes not ugly. It's not about what other people think either, if other people thought she was horrindous and I thought she was gorgeous I wouldn't care, I'm really more concerned about what I think of her. I normally wouldn't get involved with a girl I wasn't initally attracted to either, but she's a very special girl and she drew me in through other dimensions besides physically. But the way things are going we could very easily being together for a long time, and maybe even get married. I guess I'm just worried that once I make a commitment such as marraige that I'll be unsatisfied and will ruin the relationship.