Confusing situation. played and feeling down

[gt07]

Here's the situation. In Summer of 2002 i worked with this really attractive girl who i thought the typical, oh i'll never have a shot. But we started talking at work a lot and became really close friends. Finally started going out and hanging out a lot for the remainder of the summer. Problem, i had to come to GA for school (originally from Dallas) so that came as a forseeable end. Well, the date finally came where i had to leave and we parted our ways really nicely and and had a pretty good understanding that whenever i come back, we'd TRY to start off where we left (I co-op half of every year so I'm only gone 4-5 months at the most).

So i'm at school and we talked everynight for a half-hour to hour. Missed maybe one night all semester, b/c i was completely wasted pissing myself (but that's another story). We are great all the way until her birthday DEC 9. I sent her flowers even as just a friend, i thought it'd be a nice gesture. That night i had my phone in my pocket and it dialed her (she was the top number on last called list) and it hung up obviously. So later she called and we started arguing about that and then all hell broke loose and everything started coming up and we started fighting.

Went on vacation for xmas and when i got back, i picked her up at the airport thinking we may do stuff later on that week and whatnot. I didn't hear from her for the rest of the week after i called her so i refused to call. It seemed pretty obvious she was avoiding me.

Since xmas, i haven't talked to her but once on the phone and that seemed painful like she didn't want to talk and i was just having a question-session about every aspect of her life to keep some kind of convo going. We talk still on the internet though and now that leads us to tonight.

Apparently over xmas break she met some guy who was leaving for boot-camp and she knew him for a half week. Supposedly the night he left the obsessive f*ck kept calling her all night after this short time. He must've given a good story how he needed somebody before he went of to trainging. So since then she's always just been mentioning this Thomas one (aka. The Half-Week Hero). Especially how she talks to him so much on the phone since I've quit calling her. I just want to say i'm not a real supporter of the armed forceds (at least non-air-force) since all they are for the most part is a bunch of unguided ****s who need ot be told what to do for the rest of their life. Anyhow, tonight, her away message on AIM states "phone with thomas", so i call her on it since she never puts who she's on the phone with besides thomas. She gets pissed saying it doesn't matter, and why do i care. so we're mid-fight and she c&p a clip of convo from her friend her says i'm jealous b/c she's with him and not me. Not so much, but i was irritated that she NEVER would admit to me that she was with this guy. I even asked her to please tell me that she didn't want anything with me instead of playing me along. So she never did tell me, i found out from some friend i don't even know.

So here i stand, COMPLETELY pissed that she just wouldn't fess up. I wouldn't really care but why would she lie to me?

What do you guys think I should do? Call everything (including a friendship) off with her. Wait around and see what she has to say? WHAT? I'm just really confused and so pissed right now i would firstly think just to completely ditch her which is really sad b/c I REALLY DO care so much about this girl and thought there may have been something in the future with her.

Please let me know what you think.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Ouch, it sounds like it all fell apart there so quickly. Well I understand how you're feeling right now, it sounds like she's been real petty about this and hasn't handled it very well at all. It would be best if you could ignore this Thomas deal and work on your friendship with her but I know it won't be easy to do that. Basically if you truly do care about her, forget Thomas, focus on rebuilding your friendship. Once you're a good friend with her again you'll be able to get the real story behind Thomas. Maybe he was just there when she was upset over your falling out. Basically what I'm saying is don't give up. Get your friend back and see where things go from there. Hope that helps.

[gt07]

she finally called and e-mailed me. here's here "official" explanation of thomas:

explaination:
i was introduced to thomas two months ago through bob, a guy
heather was seeing. we had a great time and totally hit it
off. we stayed up talking all night. he is a marine and he
was getting ready to leave to finishe his training. we hung
out while he was still in town and got to know each other
better. before he left we agreed to stay in touch, so i gave
him my number and address and all that. we were friends. we
kept in touch the three weeks he was finishing his training
an dthen he got stationed in florida where he is currently.
we have continued to keep in touch and talk on a regular
basis. through all of that strong feelings have developed
for both of us regarding the other. we decided to become
exclusive and not see anybody else just recently. up until
then we were just friends. now, regarding the long distance
thing, i hate it. i hate the fact that this is a long
distance relationship. however, something told me and has
been telling me to stick with it and give it a shot. there
is a lot i don't know that will or will not happen, and i
hate the fact that he and i are not together, but i am
giving it a shot. i met him and soo much in my life changed.
he is very important to me and i care about him very much.
yes, i may end up with him. but i have to find out for
myself. i had to take that risk and that shot and do what my
heart was telling me to do.

[Illusional]

what happnes after the explanation?? it just leaves us hanging there.

but to the matter at hand. i would agree that this girl did handle the situation in an imature matter. however, this is in the past so leave it there. for now, being angry does make you feel better but honestly it doesn't solve anything. i would suggest cooling down and then maybe talking with her to resolve your situation. btw.. have you told her how you feel for her? it not, then tell her and if you did, cool down. if she wants something for you, it will develop, but don't push anything. my suggestion is not to wait for something to happen because if it were meant to be, fate will change your pathes to cross again. raverboy