I need some advice - Love Forum

RockerChick56 · #1 (**permalink**) 22-10-04, 10:08 AM

Okay I have this friend, Case and I've known him for over two years. We met at Mcdonalds where we both used to work at. Anyway, when I first met him he was going out with this one girl, we'll just call her Y. Anyway, I suppose he got fed up with her or something and stopped calling her back and hanging out with her... eventually this led to a break up. Y used to work with us at Mcdonalds, too... so these two couldn't escape eachother so easily.

Anyway, they broke up for a while, got back together and eventually broke up a second time almost over a year ago, now. At that time I began to develop feelings for Case and a little crush.

Months past and after countless other crushes and a attempted relationship, Case decided that he wanted Y back. Well, this was a problem since Y had no interest to be with him and had another boyfriend at the time.

This is where it gets crazy. At work, Y would be all over Case and giving him hope that there was still something between them. Then at school, she'd be all over her boyfriend. Her boyfriend found out about Case and knew how good friends him and Y were. So, he demanded that Y never talk to Case ever again.

Y did as she was told. She told Case off and said that they couldn't be friends anymore. Then, she turned around and flirted with this guy at work named Pete.

This went on for nearly 4 months. Back and forth... back and forth. I'm not sure what set him off and whatnot... but through this whole ordeal, he told me everything that happened.

Anyway, I walked into work one day to find his arms covered with cuts. You could tell they were self inflicted. The cutting didn't last longer than a week and Case fell into a deep depression during that time.

In the meantime, Case found out that Y's boyfriend was cheating on her. So, he tried to find ways to tell her. To make this part of the story short, Y finds out about the cheating and dumbs her boyfriend. Later, Case and her become good friends again, making Case believe that there was hope for her.

Well, Case is 18 and graduated. Off at college and working all the time, while Y is always doing something at school and working... the two just never see each other anymore.

Through all of this crap... I still have strong feelings for him. So... I started to like him in the Summer of 2002 and all that craziness lasted from FEB 04 to JUNE 04. Recently, I talked to him and the cutting has not been seen since May which is a good sign... he's not in his depression anymore... and he finally has decided to get over Y.

Now, this is where I need advice. Should I tell him how I feel? Wait it out? Or just leave him alone? I had to tell you the whole story, because he's a complicated guy thanks to this xgirlfriend of his. I really need some advice... what should I do?

(Even your view on this would help, guys! )

zas · #2 (**permalink**) 23-10-04, 01:19 AM

do you know if he has feelings for you? maybe you should look for signs, because you don't wanna be getting involved with someone that is still screwed up over another girl, it aint worth it!!! i made that mistake as some people on here might remember (lol) so maybe try and work out wether or not he likes you, but he might just see you as a friend because he came to you when he was depressed.

Fayebelle · #3 (**permalink**) 23-10-04, 01:23 AM

You can't keep going back and forth- tell him how you feel- make him decide- and accept his decision no matter what. If he is still silly enough to want Y- at least you won't waste anymore time pining for him.

squirrley · #4 (**permalink**) 23-10-04, 02:27 AM

First you need to let him get over "Y", obviously he has some real deep issues when it comes to her. You want him to be over her, so he can proceed in a healthier relationship, ie. YOU. Id give him some time to get over her. The last thing you want to do is be the rebound girl. Be there for him as a friend, like you have been in the past. But start to drop some hints to him, flirt with him a little and see how he responds to you. You could also take the chance and tell him flat out how you feel, but be prepared either way in how he reacts.

Personally, Id wait a bit before spilling the beans. Make damn sure she's out of the picture and out of his heart. And in the meantime, be there for him, and maybe suggest hanging out a bit more!