Talking about problems/stuff the bugs the other

[josh522]

If some of you have read my previous post, about me and my gf, you will know were in a LDR. Shes 18, i'm 20.

Anyways the problem.. Recently today she mentioned she was going to go shoping to the next town over, with my GIRL friends. Then later on when she was coming home, still with her friends, i ask her what her and her girls are up to, and she replys, us girls and guy. And i'm thinking WTF she didn't mention a guy was going along with them. but i didn't say anything about it then i wait for her to get home so we could talk on MSN. I asked her about it cause she never mentioned a guy was going with them. She replys well he called us and said he wanted to go along, i'm like ooooooooook. and then when i'm like why didnt you tell me, you hiding somthing. She gets all defensive, saying stuff like, Get Over It, and basicly just making me feel like an ass, and it was all my fault, and that i have no reason to ask. Her reason for not saying a guy was going with, was cause that SHE DIDN'T FEEL IT WAS IMPORTANT, but yes she tells me all the girls that are going? What gives? Is it me just being retarded, and i should of just kept quite. It just sometimes makes me feel she doesn't want me involved in certain parts of her life. It really bugs me and i talk to her about it and tell her i feel like that, and she says she does want me involved but it just doesn't cross her mind to tell me.

So what do you think? am i wrong for getting defensive when she didn't tell me he was goign along? What do you all think of the whole ordeal...

Joshua Arndt

[bluestrattos]

well Josh, i don't think there's a real problem there, a guy went with the girls to shopping next town,,, not a big deal. i don't see a big problem there. If she didn't told you that perhaps she felt it wasn't really important, and besides that people like to feel free, if she doesn't want you to go with her, perhaps she just want to hang with friends without her boyfriend around. She loves you but she also have her own life without her boyfriend. Girls (some girls) don't like to have her boyfriend around her everytime. There's a time to be with friends, a time to be with the boyfrind and sometimes both at the same time. Don't make such a fuss about that, in the moment i don't see a big problem. I do see a problem if you keep buggin her about that shooping with a guy and the girls.

[KirstyM]

Yeah I'm on your girlfriends side in this. Does she have to tell you every time she goes anywhere with a guy??? Where's the trust in this relationship?! Besides its not like she went off with some guy all day, there was a big group of girls there too, it's not like anything would ever have happened anyway. So maybe he DID call and ask if he could come along (you know some girls do actually have male friends, y'know - besides even if he WAS interested in one of the girls there 1. it might not be your gf and 2. you should trust her enough to say 'no' if someone else was ever interested) in which case when was she supposed to tell you?! Its not like she needs your permission to go somewhere with a male other than you. I'm in a LDR myself and you have to trust your partner otherwise this wont last.