I feel like I'm doing all the talking.....

[BigTen#95]

I just met this girl and she came to see me at work to break the ice, before our first date, and when she got there, she looked great, and we talked alittle, I had a couple questions for her anyway.

Now, understand that I hate aquird silences. Hate em, and when i stopped talking, I could have to initiate another conversation about something, b/c she would just fiddle withher keys and look down at the bar.

I was starting to run outta things to talk about...its supposed to be fun to talk to someone you like, but that was alot of work...

95

[Fawn]

Those awkward silent moments are expected in even the best of dates. I believe we all hate them as well. They are not the nicest of things. But, they do happen.

I think she was just being shy. She might have shown courage when first meeting you, but one you hit the date the nervousness can totally change. One main sign of nervousness. Fiddling with things. I do that all the time on dates. lol. Its one of those habits I have never learned to get rid of. Plus keeping quite can also be a sign of the "first date jitters." When under pressure it can be hard to think of something to talk about. Luckily, I'm a talker and ended up rambling on for 6 hours on my first date with the current bf. lol! I'm surprised he still stayed after that. But, I always tried to bring him into the conversation and made him feel as comfortable as possible.

Unfortunatly, it can take some work to get people to open up. You just have to find the topic that they are truly interested in. Watch there eyes light up as they talk about something that peaks their interest.

If you really like her, try for another date. Maybe there needs to be some type of nutral ground. Go to somewhere that you both can have fun. ex: ice skating, play some basketball, go to a waterpark, take a stroll in the park, etc.

[Illusional]

oh brother.. you want everything to be so simple in life. you complain that your ex's demand too much of you, and here you go... demanding more of a girl that you're not even dating. when you meet someone it is ARKWARD. not even opens up so easily. one thing that i have noticed about you on your past few posts in that you tend to see things very one sidedly. you play football, you go to this penten school, you have your scholarship... YOU YOU YOU. do you see the picture?? maybe if you want people to be more understanding, you have to actually see things from their side and try to understand where they are comming from. the world doesn't revolve around you, and when you learn this, people will be more understanding of you, because you will understand them better.

raverboy

[BigTen#95]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

oh brother.. you want everything to be so simple in life. you complain that your ex's demand too much of you, and here you go... demanding more of a girl that you're not even dating. when you meet someone it is ARKWARD. not even opens up so easily. one thing that i have noticed about you on your past few posts in that you tend to see things very one sidedly. you play football, you go to this penten school, you have your scholarship... YOU YOU YOU. do you see the picture?? maybe if you want people to be more understanding, you have to actually see things from their side and try to understand where they are comming from. the world doesn't revolve around you, and when you learn this, people will be more understanding of you, because you will understand them better.

raverboy

Look you stupid mother ****er, I posted this trying to get a fresh start, I cleared things up with some other people that had beef with me, and everything was cool. You don't ****ing know me man, you don't, the reason why you think eveything I post about is about me, which is obserd anyway, is that I've had my back up against a wall ever since I got in this forum, so I was tryin to get you to look through my eyes on certain matters. But some of you were being such ****ing assholes to begin with that I felt attacked, so me trying to hope people were more understanding of me wasn't my first priority when i was replying to your smartass remarks.

Like I said, I tryed started fresh here

Alls you had to do was answer the thread, sure you could have said some constructive criticism, but you had to be an asshole

sometimes we need to get the shit slapped out of us verbally to really GET the point. if you look back, i had a problem that i needed help with and i knew deep down inside me that i needed to be told i was wrong--to know it was just me and i was overreacting. it served me good, and i didn't end up calling the person a stupid mother****er (which one spelled in one word by the way). and i think he's right, you are kinda lookin' at stuff one sidedly.

[BigTen#95]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LTsK8eR2gO

sometimes we need to get the shit slapped out of us verbally to really GET the point. if you look back, i had a problem that i needed help with and i knew deep down inside me that i needed to be told i was wrong--to know it was just me and i was overreacting. it served me good, and i didn't end up calling the person a stupid mother****er (which one spelled in one word by the way). and i think he's right, you are kinda lookin' at stuff one sidedly.

just forget all that, the point is, is that I had a clean slate, and started good in this post, and I was nice in this post then he was a ****

So what the hell

[cbee]

Ok, I hadn't joined in until now cos I didn't want to get into a slinging match but, ah well.

Raverboy has a point, yes he was blunt but he always is and he often talks commonsense (that was all that LT was trying to point out).

Your posts have generally been pointed at yourself and asking why a girl is doing something. The replies you have found most helpful, such as Fawns above, have presented the girls point of view, or what the girl may be thinking. All Raverboy was saying was that maybe in order to have better relationships with girls, which I think is what you are looking for, you need to step back when things don't seem to be going how you want them to and take their point of view into account. WHich in my opinion is a good piece of advice, if you take it then things will undoubtedly get better for you.

Take another example, your blowjob thread, if I was a girl and I sucked that much then I'd want the guy to guide me towards what turned him on, cos I sure as hell am not giving my guy a blow job for the good of my health!

Anyway, that's me done. Please don't rant at me, I'm just trying to help!

Claire

[Illusional]

haha.. i think the point that you're missing most when i reply to you is how you make me laugh when you get angry. you're reactions are childish, and your temper is worst. i think that you're overly conceited and with all these combined together it is quite amusing. call me what you want, because nothing ever offends me. like i said, i'm being the asshole that you think i am.

as far as your problem goes.... try reading between the lines instead of only seeing the big picture. like i said, you think that everything revolves around you, which is one of your many downfalls. i'm not your friend and i will tell you the things that are wrong with you. your friends might keep in inside and tell you that you're a great person, but i don't have any bonds with you. you actually might want to think about these things that i'm saying even though you don't agree with it. that is using your head.

raverboy

[Nameless18]

BigTen, i don't blame you for being angry and stuff cause i've been reading this and there are few posts where people take a dig at ya. But try thinking calmly, control your frustration and read other people's reasoning. Illusion is right in the sense that you should see things from other people's perspective. Imagine yourself in other people's shoes when this problem arises before letting all the swearing and cuss out.

Now for your problem, before you truely know a girl, its natural for her to be shy and awkward when both of you hardly knew each other. Give her some time and keep in contact more frequently. She'll open up to you slowly~

[BigTen#95]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nameless18

BigTen, i don't blame you for being angry and stuff cause i've been reading this and there are few posts where people take a dig at ya. But try thinking calmly, control your frustration and read other people's reasoning. Illusion is right in the sense that you should see things from other people's perspective. Imagine yourself in other people's shoes when this problem arises before letting all the swearing and cuss out.

Now for your problem, before you truely know a girl, its natural for her to be shy and awkward when both of you hardly knew each other. Give her some time and keep in contact more frequently. She'll open up to you slowly~

Alright thanks for helping me

[Illusional]

finally, a reply without any aggression.

raverboy

[BigTen#95]

finally, a reply without being a smartass ;-)

bigten

[kanzaki]

oh god. Bigten, try to calm down a bit. Illutional was merelly trying to get a point right, dun need to start cursing him.

try smelling the flowers on your way home. It helps XP

= Peace out =

XPXPXPXPXP

[Illusional]

there was a smart ass comment, but you didn't really catch it.

raverboy