I'm too shy to ask him out... - Love Forum

xL0v3Su1c1d3x · #1 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 07:50 AM

There's this guy I've known for a while and it's been less than a week since we've started to talk to each other more. I've been talking to him online a lot and finally got the courage two days ago to tell him I really like him over the internet. (Ridiculous, isn't it?) I can tell he likes me a lot too and I've heard that he's looking for a girlfriend. I was really thinking about asking him out at school today. The thing was...I could never catch him at a time when he was by himself and even when I considered going up to him, I chickened out because I'm shy when it comes to doing stuff like that. (But I'm not afraid to flirt with him...

) How can I overcome my shyness and ask him out?

Frasbee · #2 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 09:13 AM

You go like this, "yo bitch, go out with me, right now", he'll be so stunned by how strong and direct you are he won't be able to do anything but succumb. But you gotta do it quick, if you start to think about it, all will be lost.

narcolepsy · #3 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 09:24 AM

you just gotta overcome your fear, tell him 2 have lunch wit u one day or sumthin. U kno? Ask him then.

Frasbee · #4 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by narcolepsy

you just gotta overcome your fear, tell him 2 have lunch wit u one day or sumthin. U kno? Ask him then.

Well that's not very creative...

monkey · #5 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 10:17 AM

well if you have no problem flirting with him why not just flirtatously ask him when he is going to take you out. He will just think your flirting with him but it will stick in his subconscious it may take a little work though.

I do this in reverse. and have had good luck.

so_confused · #6 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 10:33 AM

Don't do it....read the first chapter of "he's really not that into you" and you'll come to realize that if a guy really wants to date you, he will ask you out himself...

xL0v3Su1c1d3x · #7 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by so_confused

Don't do it....read the first chapter of "he's really not that into you" and you'll come to realize that if a guy really wants to date you, he will ask you out himself...

How would you know if he was or wasn't into me? I was going to type up a whole novel about how we act toward each other, but I thought no one would reply then. To make a long story short, he likes me and it's rather obvious. The reason why I want to ask him out is because I'm afraid that if I wait, nothing will happen. I've had that happen to me a couple of times and lost opportunities for what could have been great relationships. Just like all of those other guys, he probably feels the same way as me and is too shy to make a move. I'm just sick of being single and don't really feel like waiting but my shyness is what's holding me back.[/font]

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 14-12-04, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by so_confused

Don't do it....read the first chapter of "he's really not that into you" and you'll come to realize that if a guy really wants to date you, he will ask you out himself...

what he really meant was "you'll come to realize that if a girl really want to date a dude, she will ask him out herself..."

Clifton · #9 (**permalink**) 15-12-04, 12:08 AM

this is the year 2004..ask him on a date. he doesnt hafto ask you.

Cybog · #10 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Don't do it....read the first chapter of "he's really not that into you" and you'll come to realize that if a guy really wants to date you, he will ask you out himself...

#1. This is coming from someone named "So Confused". Should be your first clue.

#2. Read these forums and look at the overwhelming number of guys here that are scared shitless to walk up to the GIRLS and ask them out. Clue #2.

#3. You guys are both in high school/junior high. Nobody knows what the **** they want or what they are doing. Both of you are scared. So, you have 2 options sister:

A) Sit around and do nothing, all the while playing footsies over the internet until finally one of you gets the courage to ask the other one out. This will take a good 6 months or so, in which time either of you have the chance to fall for someone else, or never in fact get that courage.

B) You get off your ass, pick up the phone or walk up to him at school and ask him out, or tell him you would like to go do something together. This whole "oh he wasnt alone" bullshit is weak and sad. Who cares if his friends are around? Do you know how much guys like it when girls come on to THEM instead of the other way around? It lets us know we arent dealing with *cough* high school kids....

True, that may be what you are, but if you are going to date this guy, dont you think its possible that his friends might, oh, I dunno, actually FIND OUT that you are dating?

Another thing - Dont do it over the internet. If you see each other in person, DO IT THEN. Trust me on this one. Thanks.

LucidDream · #11 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xL0v3Su1c1d3x

The thing was...I could never catch him at a time when he was by himself and even when I considered going up to him, I chickened out because I'm shy when it comes to doing stuff like that.

Heh, that was me about a year and a half ago. I got so annoyed, everytime I was just about to ask my friend out someone arrived. And when I thought of a perfect time to meet up with her, someone elce would be there too.

Then school finished for summer, and the only time I would see her, was when we where out with our friends, so I knew I wouldn't see her alone.
I realy hated the idea of asking her out again (first time was a valentines card via the school valentines system. But unfortunatly when she got it everyone was around, and she was to shy to reply.) over a text message, I thought it was way too impersonal. But I did it anyway.
I just wrote the message, not thinking about sending it, and had her number up, so all I had to do was press send. I was a bit nervous about sending it, so I watched TV for a minuet and casualy pressed send without thinking much about it. But as soon as it started sending I got realy worried about it, and once it was sent I thought there wasn't any point worrying about it, can't do anything about it now, it's gone.

Text is a horrible way of doing it, but its pritty easy, even if it does take an hour and a half to get a reply.
But since he already knows you like him, thats half the battle done already.

Oh and I just remembered, there is one major advantage of doing it over text/e-mail. It makes it easier on the other person if they are shy too, and gives them time to think of a propper reply.
But if they are realy confident, they might not appreciate your indirectness.

so_confused · #12 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 07:16 AM

woah woah woah...

why are we becoming so defensive?

The book "He's just not that into you" is a new york times best seller...I didn't write it so don't hate on me! the basic concept is that if a guy really does want youy, he will come after you..anyways good luck!

JasonRebel17 · #13 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clifton

this is the year 2004..ask him on a date. he doesnt hafto ask you.

Watever this nigge says, yea its 2004 and guys should stop being the only person to ask out a girl, a girl should be able to ask out a guy.........for many reason...

Prodigal · #14 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 01:43 PM

If you're sure of your feelings about him, and you think he likes you too... then there's nothing holding you back. You just gotta go for it. Screw what society thinks about the guy always having to ask. I'll be direct with this, for once: I would ask if I were you, because if you don't, you might regret it. Maybe he'll give up on you because he thinks you don't like him (even though you've already told him and it's probably obvious). You'd be surprised how some people have such defeatist attitudes about their chances with the opposite sex. Their thoughts can make them blind even to the blatantly obvious.. and if they do see it, they somehow ignore or don't take action on it. Just remember that opportunities are usually not available forever. So, when you see one (as you do now), grab at it. Seize it. Good luck.