This is a complicated one

[Clifton]

Keep in mind i dont know you, so all my opinions are based on assumptions, assuming i assume the right thing my assumptions may be valid. you do remind me alot of her though, she was convinced she loved me and her babys father at the same time: an impossibility, now shes crawling back to me, and its too late, because whatever shred of feeling i still had for her- disapatted..and now anytime i talk to her she cries "i love you i dont love him, just you" well you shoulda thought of that when you left me for him- and tried to convince yourself you loved him, because he offered you his paychecks.

[Clifton]

k one more, im curious as to how old you are? most likely you seem as if you have no idea what you want or need from a partner, so im curious

[Fawn]

Clifton, your a VERY oppinionated person. But I think she got the point the first time.

To her last post.
Okay, its over with the finance now.
So what to do next? Before you do anything, take some time and figure out who you are. It seems your a little lost at the moment. If you really need to tell your ex your feelings then just do it and and get it overwith. Even if he gets "mad," which i find highly unlikely, atleast the feelings are out and you can move on with your life.

[jakki2903]

I'm totally confused by this entire situation. I as a woman have to agree with the male opinions on here.

Now I am not sitting in judgement either and I do not want you to take offence for what I am about to say but it has to be said.

You need to walk away from both men - you cannot love two people at once. One or the other - Jon or Kevin - now you say you don't love Kevin so realistically you only love one - Jon - but Jon is with someone else. Now despite what your opinion of this other girl is she has something over you - she's carrying his child and no amount of arguing is gonna make him suffer the possibility of losing contact with his child. She quite rightly doesn't want you to speak to him - I wouldn't want my boyfriend who's child I was carrying to either - would u?? Your trying to win him back - your a threat - no woman would want that.

Why on earth would you want to destroy two new lives?? One - your own child's by it not having a father (or if it does a father that ur so irritated by) and Jon's child by (if he chooses to get back with you) him suffering the risk of not seeing his child cos I bet it wouldn't be amicable.

I just think you need to wake up - would u like it if someone was seriously considering doing this to you? Put yourself in Kevin's shoes - how would u feel??

Treat people as you want to be treated - and I don't beleive u can fall in and out of love just like that. I do agree that feelings can just change - but not true deep love, deep enough love that you would want to and agree to spend the rest of your life with someone.

I'm sorry but if this hurts a bit then it's cos its the truth - I think you need to grow up and leave both alone.

Also I agree birth control has no importance.

[ImportBunni]

First, where the hell do you come off judging me if you DONT know me or the situation im in? and im a scandalous ho!???? get your shit straight. im not talking shit about you so you need to keep your mouth shut. you express yourself way too loudly. your not even giving advice, your getting on my case about my feelings, so id appreciate it if you just dont post to me anymore. You so called advice isnt doing shit for me!

[ImportBunni]

I know who i am i dont need to figure that out, what i need help with is to figure out what to do with jon...wait for him, stay single for a bit, or move to the next guy. I will eventually tell him my feelings but that probably wont make me feel any better.

[ImportBunni]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakki2903

I'm totally confused by this entire situation. I as a woman have to agree with the male opinions on here.

Now I am not sitting in judgement either and I do not want you to take offence for what I am about to say but it has to be said.

You need to walk away from both men - you cannot love two people at once. One or the other - Jon or Kevin - now you say you don't love Kevin so realistically you only love one - Jon - but Jon is with someone else. Now despite what your opinion of this other girl is she has something over you - she's carrying his child and no amount of arguing is gonna make him suffer the possibility of losing contact with his child. She quite rightly doesn't want you to speak to him - I wouldn't want my boyfriend who's child I was carrying to either - would u?? Your trying to win him back - your a threat - no woman would want that.


Why on earth would you want to destroy two new lives?? One - your own child's by it not having a father (or if it does a father that ur so irritated by) and Jon's child by (if he chooses to get back with you) him suffering the risk of not seeing his child cos I bet it wouldn't be amicable.

I just think you need to wake up - would u like it if someone was seriously considering doing this to you? Put yourself in Kevin's shoes - how would u feel??

Treat people as you want to be treated - and I don't beleive u can fall in and out of love just like that. I do agree that feelings can just change - but not true deep love, deep enough love that you would want to and agree to spend the rest of your life with someone.

I'm sorry but if this hurts a bit then it's cos its the truth - I think you need to grow up and leave both alone.

Also I agree birth control has no importance.

Okay, we are off the subject about Kevin...we broke up i dont love him as much as i thought i did. the whole time i loved jon from past memories and now that he comes around alot more, im falling in love with him more. and no she dopesnt have anything over me considering im having jon kid as well and he has no idea. I failed to mention that because that just looks bad on my part but now you know. So NO she has nothing more over me then i do over her. I dont want to destroy their lives because she'll end up destroying it herself. and it is possible, people fall in and out of love a quik as a mouse. Ive seen it happen. Ive had it happen.

[Colleen]

Ouch, this is a bad situation. So you and Jon were having sex after your break and while you were engaged to Kevin? And Jon got this other girl pregnant in the process? I think Jon needs to take a little responsibility here in the BC department, and if he can't figure out HIS life then he needs to get neutered. The pill has a 1% chance of failure; I have taken it for 22 years without so much as a scare. Even still if I know I am ovulating I bring out a condom, no matter how long I have been with the guy or trust him. Crap happens, as you know. The fact is that Jon has gotten two women pregnant in, what, the space of a year? Sorry, but somebody SOMEwhere is being careless. I'm not saying it is YOU, but something is not adding up.

And yeah, these details DO matter because you can learn from them. Even if you did screw up your birth control and don't want to admit it to us, you can still do better in the future. You cannot undo what has happened, but you can grow with the experience. Jon doesn't sound like the most responsible person in the world to build your life around. You say you are prepared to raise this child on your own, so let that be your focus. In all these posts you keep asking WHICH guy you should be with or how to get Jon back. Why not ask how you can raise a stable child in a single parent home? Trust me, once that baby comes all these romance issues will be out the window. The kiddle will take all your time, which may not be a bad thing, if it gets you away from guys who probably aren't good for you in the first place.

Do you have parents who are standing by you, or other adults you can go to? You need to start building an emotional support system, and I don't mean a MAN. Men come and go. The baby needs YOU and he could give a rip whether you are romantically happy. All they care about are the essentials, and you're gonna be up to your eyeballs providing those.

Focus on the baby. All this emotional upheaval and anxiety can't be good for it.

Good luck in Mama world!!

Colleen

[jakki2903]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImportBunni

Okay, we are off the subject about Kevin...we broke up i dont love him as much as i thought i did. the whole time i loved jon from past memories and now that he comes around alot more, im falling in love with him more. and no she dopesnt have anything over me considering im having jon kid as well and he has no idea. I failed to mention that because that just looks bad on my part but now you know. So NO she has nothing more over me then i do over her. I dont want to destroy their lives because she'll end up destroying it herself. and it is possible, people fall in and out of love a quik as a mouse. Ive seen it happen. Ive had it happen.

Your in a very tricky situation - does Jon know he is the father of your child? This information makes all the difference.

[ImportBunni]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakki2903

Your in a very tricky situation - does Jon know he is the father of your child? This information makes all the difference.

He has no clue...Im kinda scared to tell him knowing he already has a kid on the way in a few weeks. I dont know how hell react and hell probably want a DNA test and those are expensive so i wouldnt be able to get one done. I know its his though. This may sound kinda wierd but i keetp track of who i mess with and when i do, and Jon is the runnerup for this child.

[sparkey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImportBunni

He has no clue...Im kinda scared to tell him knowing he already has a kid on the way in a few weeks. I dont know how hell react and hell probably want a DNA test and those are expensive so i wouldnt be able to get one done. I know its his though. This may sound kinda wierd but i keetp track of who i mess with and when i do, and Jon is the runnerup for this child.

You need to get your shit together. Forget about Jon or any other guy. You have a child that wil require ALL your time and attention. Time to grow up and stop playing games.

BYW, I feel for Kevin. If you still had feelings for Job, you have no business string another guy along, using him. BTW, you said "he doesn't make me happy"

NEWS FLASH! It is not the other persons responsibilty to make YOU HAPPY! Thats your job!!!!!

[Clifton]

exactly..and once again ill state, people do not fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat..what are you ****ing 14? still have no idea what love is?

[sfalexi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImportBunni

He has no clue...Im kinda scared to tell him knowing he already has a kid on the way in a few weeks. I dont know how hell react and hell probably want a DNA test and those are expensive so i wouldnt be able to get one done. I know its his though. This may sound kinda wierd but i keetp track of who i mess with and when i do, and Jon is the runnerup for this child.

Now I'm all sorts of confused. Did you not tell us earlier that Kevin is the father of your child? THat you are engaged and pregnant with his child?

[ImportBunni]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clifton

exactly..and once again ill state, people do not fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat..what are you ****ing 14? still have no idea what love is?

stop critisizing people you dont know the situation..and no im not 14...are you?

[ImportBunni]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sfalexi

Now I'm all sorts of confused. Did you not tell us earlier that Kevin is the father of your child? THat you are engaged and pregnant with his child?

i never said he was the father i said i was engaged to him