give it a try? - Love Forum

ivyhk · #1 (**permalink**) 15-12-04, 09:50 PM

the guy i wanted to get to know seems to have a girlfriend, not 100% sure....bummer.

should i ignore it and go for it still?

sfalexi · #2 (**permalink**) 15-12-04, 09:53 PM

I personally wouldn't bother if I KNEW the person I wanted was already involved. Because either

(A) They say no, and it was pointless.
(B) They say yes, break up with their sig. other, but then that leaves me thinking as to whether they would break up with me if something seemingly better came along (since a relationship didn't mean that much to begin with)
(C) They say yes, pretend to break up with the other just so they can play two girls/guys at once. In which case I end up getting ****ed over.

So I wouldn't. If I wasn't SURE (as you are not), I'd flirt a little, and then plain outright ask him whether he does or doesn't have a girlfriend. That'll both let you know (unless he's like the majority of my friends and lies to get laid) and also get the point across that you're interested in him.

Rod Steele

Cybog · #3 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 02:35 AM

Imagine for a sec you were already his girlfriend, and you just found out that another girl posted this exact same question on the internet about YOUR boyfriend.

What would you say to that girl?

ltj5253 · #4 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 05:11 AM

the best thing to do would notice something about him, like a watch or something jewerly, etc. something a GIRLFRIEND would buy. then what you do is be like that is a nice watch, did your girlfriend get that for you. and it will either be yes, no my mom got it for me for christmas, or no, i dont have a girl. that should work.

Prodigal · #5 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 12:50 PM

Great idea, ltj. I think he has a brilliant plan there. It's all about the subtle way to explicitly find out if he has a girlfriend or not. From his own lips, and in unambiguous terms.

ivyhk · #6 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 08:50 PM

ok if he really does, then i should just walk away?
I mean, i really like him and dont wanna slip it. i thought i always heard as long as someone isnt married, people still have chances....isnt that true?

Prodigal · #7 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 09:12 PM

I don't know... that's up to you. You have to be really 'optimistic'... but really, if it were me, I would probably give it up or wait until they break up. I wouldn't go after someone when they're with someone else (as cybog said, imagine yourself as the girlfriend and some other girl trying to take him away). Doing stuff like that isn't very nice, in my opinion. I'd say to just keep being yourself. If you're being yourself in front of him now, just keep doing that. Just remember if he does have a girlfriend to not get your hopes up so high so soon. That'll just make you really depressed.

sfalexi · #8 (**permalink**) 16-12-04, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ltj

the best thing to do would notice something about him, like a watch or something jewerly, etc. something a GIRLFRIEND would buy. then what you do is be like that is a nice watch, did your girlfriend get that for you.

That's a great one. Works everywhere, with everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cybog

Imagine for a sec you were already his girlfriend, and you just found out that another girl posted this exact same question on the internet about YOUR boyfriend.

What would you say to that girl?

This is where the trust factor comes in. You can't stop other people from noticing your significant other while you're not around. You can only trust that they'll stay faithful to you. My ex looked great. And worked as a hairstylist in a mens/womens shop. So she obviously got asked out a lot. But I knew she wouldn't go out behind my back.

Rod Steele