pls translate this male language - Love Forum

applepie · #1 (**permalink**) 03-06-03, 09:37 PM

I can rumble for hours about the relationship, but what does this mean:

He misunderstood what i said and thought I was saying that he only wants sex. He got really upset and angry and told met to get out of his house. When I tried to talk to him again he said that it's all he ever thinks about and all he ever wants- yes it is true only to some extend cos I know he loves me and it's not *just* sex.

Now he keeps telling me what a bad person he is.

what the hell??? I know he was upset and has some self esteem issue (he thinks he isn't good enough for me). I feel he is trying to push me away (to punish himself for the things he stuffed up in the past). He doesn't think he deserves me but he is being too harsh on himself.

any ideas?

peshkunta · #2 (**permalink**) 03-06-03, 09:48 PM

He doesn't physically abuse you, does he???

Has he EVER hit you? 'Cause if he has, then he WILL do it again and again...and the only remedy to that is to kick him to the curb.

applepie · #3 (**permalink**) 03-06-03, 10:11 PM

no he wouldn't physically abused me and I know he wouldn't.

Killerbabe · #4 (**permalink**) 03-06-03, 11:46 PM

@ peshkunta - where in her post did you see that he might physically abuse her? Some of your posts leave me wondering what's in your head.

Applepie, I've been in your shoes once. This guy is probably trying really hard to be a nice guy cause he really does care for you, more than you know it. But any guy would get discouraged if his feelings were true and you told him for some reason that sex is the only thing he wants from you. next thing you know this guy will get offended and will try to play along and act like the bad guy cause you think he's a bad guy...it's like "oh I'm a bad guy? alright lemme be the bad guy now, cause I fail everytime I try to do something nice". that's what he thought you told him, so basically he's just upset.

Try to make him feel a little more confident. Tell him how sweet and nice this or that is. Remind him all the good things he did for you. Tell him how much you appreciate him.

Zekk_T_Strife · #5 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 12:20 AM

Killer nailed this one right on the head. Getting him to come around and feel better might not be too easy. It all depends on how stubborn he is. I've been known to do the same thing from time to time because crap just seems to pile up and I feel like I'm a terrible person.

peshkunta · #6 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 02:10 AM

Helloooo...BrainKiller.
Anybody home at the Playboy mansion? Do you have selective reading or something?

She said, "He got really upset and angry and told me to get out of his house." Doesn't this sentence make you wonder at all?

applepie · #7 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 06:20 AM

well i've tried to tell him how nice he's been and how much he means to me but he just kept pushing me away insisting that he is a bad guy

Zekk_T_Strife · #8 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 06:47 AM

I know where he's coming from. I wish I could tell you how to bring him back around but being that I know exactly how he's feeling and know of no way to counteract that feeling, time is the only answer. I'm sorry I couldn't help more here.

Illusional · #9 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by peshkunta

She said, "He got really upset and angry and told me to get out of his house." Doesn't this sentence make you wonder at all?

simplified... he just told her to get out of the house. in that sentence there is no suggestion of physical abuse. raverboy

peshkunta · #10 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 09:07 AM

Seems like someone is not getting it...

How Illusional is your post...LOL.

Perhaps you and Killer could get together and have some Playboy illusions.

Killerbabe · #11 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 05:44 PM

what's all that scoop with Playboy?

And oh yeah, since you just came around like what? last week, maybe you should know that Illusional and I do all kinds of stuff in staff room...

peshkunta · #12 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 08:26 PM

LOL...Please, spare me the details...
It'll take me a while to get the visual out of my head...not pretty.

Zekk_T_Strife · #13 (**permalink**) 04-06-03, 08:44 PM

::sigh:: Stop arguing. This girl needs help and you're all just bickering. I agree with Illusional and Killer. Although it says he got angry there is NO reason to assume he is being abusive in that post. Secondly...those insults are pretty lame pesh. Keep saying playboy and making a play on words with the word illusion, if you're gonna start something with these guys at least get some wit.

Illusional · #14 (**permalink**) 05-06-03, 08:13 AM

this has left me speachless.

however back to the situation... apple..you should talk to your boy and make him understand that this inicident was all a mistake. he might have low self esteem but being his girl, you should help him build it so you can better your relationship. raverboy

applepie · #15 (**permalink**) 05-06-03, 08:40 AM

hey thanks everyone.

i've tried to talk to him but he kept saying "now you see the truth? how bad I am?" and kept saying he's no good. I know he doesn't have a high esteem and I think that is because he's been really hurt before and he's talked himself into thinking that he's no good for anyone.

I've told him where I stand (that I love him) but he couldnt' tell me where he stood. He tells me that he doesn't make the ideal boyfriend for me- he thinks i'm perfect blah blah all the crap and so when i asked him if he still loves me he didn't reply for a long time but when he finally did he said that he sees me as a friend but not sure about the love bit.

I don't believe him, but as many of you said before, I should just take what he says. i'm totally heartbroken.