getting a girl to want more (urgent help needed!!)

[Mr.eex]

ok heres whats happening.iv known this girl for 3 years as we join the collage at the same time but never really bacame friends....difrent cultures..u know. but about a year ago i started speaking to her on msn messenger and we quickly became friends. after a few months i started feeling attracted to her although she wasnt singal,but,about a month ago shes became singal but i never asked what happened and at new years she invited me ober to her house and we kinda got together but not before her friend could catch us.a friends of mine asked me what was ahppening between us as it was obious we realy liked each other,this got me to thinking what acctully was going on (sorry for giving you my life story here) but she said she didnt know and but she didnt want a relationship but wanted to "get with me"(i dont feel like im being used) i asked her why she didnt wanna make somthing more between us and she told me its because she always manages to f**k relationships up.so anyway i wanna know how i can change her mind,should i ask again later on or take some action? please help i realy dont know what to do. thanks in advance

[neo511]

you might want to ask her.. to take it slow??
it sounds like the (i manage to mess up relationships, so drop you pants- skank routine).
or.. she might just need time to decompress from the relationship.. but still feels an "empty" feeling..

[Mr.eex]

yeah good thinking
yeah at first thats how i felt but i dont know,thats not how it feels
what do u mean..decompress the relationship?

[Nameless18]

Well.. first thing first. i think you should improve your spelling here quite abit. was getting a little dizzy reading all that. anyway, for your case, i had a similar experience with this gal i knew a few months back. She didnt wanna get into a relationship with me though i hinted quite a few times. We did what couples had done but we're still like... friends. It sucked. For your case, you could perhaps carry on what you're having with her but becareful cause you do not know when she will switch her eyes to another guy.

[Cybog]

She has already given you her hint.

Ever heard the saying that a girl knows within the first few minutes if she is going to have sex with you or not?

This is the case. She doesnt want anything more from you, including a relationship - and she has attempted to make this very clear with you.

Quote:

she didnt want a relationship but wanted to "get with me"(i dont feel like im being used) i asked her why she didnt wanna make somthing more between us and she told me its because she always manages to f**k relationships up.

You were used. Enjoy the one of few times in your life that it will ever happen.

Quote:

anyway i wanna know how i can change her mind,should i ask again later on or take some action

You wont be able to change her mind.

One of the biggest problems that timid / shy / inexperienced people have, is that when they finally do meet someone, regardless of who it is, they immediately get this feeling like "Something is there" - when it never is. It could be the girl next door who says hello, the lady at the grocery store...etc. Any woman that comes into their life, they think "something is there".

You need to move on, and find a different girl. Any woman that you have known for over 3 years, friends with for over a year, and finally had one single encounter that never escalated, is not someone who wants to be with you. If she wanted a relationship with you, she would have said so, rather than saying specifically that she did not.

Just move on. There are a million other "fish in the sea". If you were to somehow actually get into a relationship with this broad, it would fizzle. Why? You guys don't have passion for one another. Once she specifies the boundries of your relationship, that is all it is ever going to be.

[neo511]

she prolly need time to "decompress" or get over whoever whe was with.. ya know.. lil time to herself..

[Mr.eex]

ahh thanks,how long should i leave it before making my move?

[Cybog]

If you are only here to get the answers you want, then chances are you have already made your decision.

This relationship won't work...but you don't want to hear that.