I Can't Open Up - Love Forum

lv0023 · #1 (**permalink**) 03-01-05, 09:11 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 5 months now and have known eachother for a little over 6 months. I am still having difficulties with opening up to him. During car rides, I end up being quiet unless he talks or brings up a subject. Also, when it comes to something as simple as initiating a kiss or grabbing his hand, I get too nervous to do it. I like him and I know he likes me, but I just can't get the nerve to do it. I've had problems with guys in my past and I can't figure out if its something between me and him, or something between me and my past. Girls are usually the ones that open up easily, but here, its him and not me. Have any of you ever had this happen or have any advice?? Any would be greatly appreciated.

Frasbee · #2 (**permalink**) 03-01-05, 09:13 AM

The best thing to do in this situation would be to...open up. Problem solved!

lv0023 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-01-05, 09:18 AM

It's not that easy.

Fawn · #4 (**permalink**) 03-01-05, 11:45 PM

Well, I used to have that problem when I first started dating. I found it hard to let go. It was like I was protecting myself. When, actually, it was keeping me from doing what I wanted and showing my emotions to someone I care about.

Its going to take time, but you will eventually open up to him. You should also try to take the first step by explaining the problem to your boyfriend. This is so he knows that "he" is not the cause of the problem. Its more of a protective thing. Its most likely caused by something, a past experience, or it was how your raised, etc.

NOW, over some time, your going to have to take that initiative. If you really want to hold his hand, but your a bit nervous about it, take the risk. Its a wonderful feeling to conquer something, even if its a small thing. Go for it! What have you got to lose?

cws5479 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-01-05, 01:01 AM

You are just going to have to open up and be honest with him. You say that you can't even initiate a kiss or hold his hand......does this have anything to do with your self-esteem? If you really like this guy, you have to let go and be yourself. I know that it's easier said than done, but that's the only way you're going to enjoy a relationship with someone. Just try to take it slow.....like initiate a kiss one day and try to hold his hand the next. You can go at your own pace, but just make sure he knows how much you care about him and how much you enjoy being with him.

some1there · #6 (**permalink**) 04-01-05, 03:57 AM

Generally guys talk more. They tend to talk about themselves or dominate conversations. It is expected from women and therefore most women would wait for guys to initiate something...

Feeling comfortable with someone takes time, even though you would like to accelerate this process try to be patient. Any good relationship relies heavily on this "personal connection". The more comfortable you get with each other the stronger this connection becomes.

sfalexi · #7 (**permalink**) 04-01-05, 09:57 AM

beer always worked when I needed someone to 'open up'.

some1there · #8 (**permalink**) 04-01-05, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sfalexi

beer always worked when I needed someone to 'open up'.

lol...Too right, or share something more stronger perhaps (vodka)!