Should I be worried about my boyfriend's abusive past?

[DarkNeko]

I'm sure a small handful of you have read my topic concerning me having feelings for my friend while dating someone. Well, after another good friend reminded me of something I had shared with them in the summer about Joe, I began to wonder if I am really safe.

Joe would not come right out and tell me what he had done, but from the clues I got, he molested his stepsister when he was 12 (which would be about 5 years ago). His stepsister is older than him, by 4 years I believe, but Joe has always been a big kid, and I don't know if his stepsister was a small girl, average-sized, or maybe even a little stout, but Joe would be tough to overcome. And this was not something that happened on one occasion - Joe did this many times until he was caught in the act.

As a result of his actions, he was placed into counseling for 2 years. He also could not live with his father anymore because of the new threat he posed to his stepsister, so he was sent to live with his mother. He was 14 at that time, and also when he came to my school in 9th grade.

..................

I could very well be wrong in my assumptions; I literally had to play a guessing game with him to get any hints. What I got was he had done something 'physical' to his stepsister, was put into coulseling for it, and went to court and would have been sent to prison had he not been a minor.

I know for a fact that, at that age, Joe had no friends, had the internet, and had an older stepbrother who introduced him to the joy of pornography. I do believe also that his stepbrother did something similar to Joe's stepsister.

.................

With my boyfriend's controlling attitude, and this knowledge, I feel a little bit insecure; when it comes to sexual assault, it is not about the sexual satisfaction, but about the control, and knowing you have power over the victim. Even though he wasn't even a teenager yet, what's to say counseling cured him?

Should I be worried about his past?

...............

I'd greatly GREATLY appreciate any advice on this, because, once again, I am at a fork in the road.

.......

DarkNeko - dating a rapist

[neo511]

well, this is a very perplexing topic.. and question, and of coarse really depends on you.
try to relate how he vents his anger. either with you , or around you.. if he is overly out of control, that might be a flag..
but IMO, once a thief, cheater, abuser, etc.. always one..

just be safe

[Frasbee]

I respect that he came out and told you all of that, I don't imagine that is something easy to say. I would say keep your mind and heart open, but not without caution. I would also suggest that you get in contact with some of his family or close friends who know of what he did, just to let them know you know, and this way you'll have somebody else to discuss these things with when you feel lost.

[ElChombo]

Sorry. Deleted!

[vashti]

EDIT: Damnit. Why are these old threads allowed to be opened up after so long?