Love Help!!

[Laguna]

Well, here is the long story; for all of you all to know. I would like A LOT of help: please. I am COMPLETELY stuck on what to do……..

Well, her name is Jerica. We are both 16. We know each other form school and we started hanging out after school. We hit it off well the first day we started hanging out. We were more of that sexual without the sex type. Then, things progressed fast. We really got into each other. Within a week and four days from us hanging out, we had sex for the first time with each other. (She wasn’t a virgin, I was…but she didn’t know that until after). We started falling in love hanging out everyday. Eventually I told her I was in love with her and a couple days later she fell in love with me.

*She just got out of a 2 year relationship with a guy she planned on marrying and was madly in love with several weeks before we did all this.*

Well, we finally went out, and the 6th day from when we started going out, I was at work and she called me and said she was sorry and everything. Jerica is the type of girl that will NOT lie to me. She thinks it’s pointless to lie and doesn’t ever do it. She also promised to never cheat on me and she ALWAYS keeps her promises. Well, we talked and she told me how she had sex with her ex-b/f. She said she thought she could get him back if she did it. He didn’t even want to do it, she kind of forced it onto him. She assured me that if it were any other guy, she wouldn’t of done it. I went to her house the next morning and she was really depressed about it all. She always keeps her promises and it hurt her so much knowing she did this to me. She tried killing herself that morning, if I wasn’t there, she probably would have. Well, I eventually got over it and she broke up with me because of the whole situation and she thinks that I don’t deserve her. I threw out a picture of her and her ex b/f kissing and she got really pissed off at me because of that.

Eventually things went down-hill even more. She started hanging around with my friend and we were still both in love. I went over to my friends house one day cause I suspected she went there…because we hung out everyday and she didn’t come over that day….I talked to her and she told me to leave and we need a break. So, I pretended like I was leaving and I actually went around and spied on them through the window and saw them kiss. Then, I called them and bitched him out and told him to send her outside. Well, that’s when I realized I lost her. So, I just went home and broke down.

She called the next day and said I was an idiot for spying and I agreed. She said I just added to her paranoia (She has depression and some psychological problems). I admitted I was wrong and apologized for doing it. She told me we weren’t going out, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Well, she also assured me that she isn’t even comfortable with her body around my EX-friend and doesn’t she herself going anywhere with him. Well, we barely hung out and we grew farther apart. We are still saying we are in love with each other.





She was at my house one day and realized that she loves this one kid that she has loved for about 3 years. She told me and I said ok, etc. etc. …… She is in love with him as well as me. He has a g/f and says he’s in love with her and stuff too, but he has a g/f. She said she could she herself with him in a good relationship, etc. They haven’t had sex or anything. He has like no sexual drive what so ever.

Well, I’m still madly in love with her and all I want is a relationship with her. She is still in love with me, because you can’t just stop loving someone. All I want is to be in a relationship with her, but she just wants to be friends. Right now, we are on this “break” thing. She told me 4 days ago to stop calling and wait for her to call. She said I just annoy her and she needs a break from me. I do call her everyday and we hang out practically everyday, so I understand.

My Questions:

• What should I say when she calls?
She knows how I want to be in a relationship, but she just wants a friendship. I’ve never had a long relationship, not longer then a month. I want a relationship like some people have for 2 years, even if it ends. I still want it. I want to experience it.
• What should I do?
• Do you think through time we will be back together?
• What do you think is going to happen
• I just want a relationship with her, I love her so much. I can’t just let her go, I’m completely stuck. I want her to be in love with me like she was when we were going out and we were both happy.

PLEASE HELP!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF SHE WASN'T IN MY LIFE AS A PARTNER!!

[Frasbee]

Calm down man, your 16, and she's 16. It's easy to so involved early in life. But she just sounds manipulative. Wouldn't do cheat on any other guy but her ex-boyfriend? Yeah...that's a great excuse. And you weren't an idiot for spying, you have reasonable doubt and that doubt turned to be true. Goin' behind your back and gettin' on with your friend wasn't very truthful. I know you say you love her, and maybe you do, but if you ask me, this girl is just gonna cause you more pain and trouble.

[Cybog]

I see this as going 2 ways. You are young, and aren’t going to listen to me most likely, but unfortunately with the power of my crystal ball, I can tell you how this is going to turn out:

1. You are going to continue pining over this worthless person, struggling to get something out of her, until either she finally succumbs and the two of you enter into a doomed relationship. Or, you finally wise up months down the road and then burn out, having realized that your relentless infatuation was pointless. Either way, you will become depressed and disappointed (for no real reason, other than the fact that you think this is "the one" and she somehow "got away")....*gag*

2. You wise up fast and decide here and now to move on in life and be done with this person, avoiding your depressive downward spiral and proving to her and yourself once and for all that you don't deserve to be treated like garbage.

Dude, wake up. SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.

Neither of you have any clue what the word "love" means.

Love is not cheating on you.
Love is not indecisive relationship-swapping.
Love is not paranoia.
Love is not attention-seeking suicidal attempts.
Love is not "She said I just annoy her and she needs a break from me. I do call her everyday and we hang out practically everyday, so I understand."
Love is not "She was at my house one day and realized that she loves this one kid that she has loved for about 3 years. She told me and I said ok, etc. etc. …… She is in love with him as well as me."

The list goes on.

Sit back and listen to yourself. If you have a single ounce of maturity in your body you will look at this situation realistically - with your head instead of your heart.

This entire situation reeks of failure. Get away before it's too late.

[misombra]

i wholeheartedly concur.

[Laguna]

Thanks for the opinions. I am listening to you. I've decided to move on, but stay good friends with her. I'm going to call her if she dosn't call me by tomorrow and explain how I feel about this whole situation. Keep the opinions coming if anyone has anymore, please. I just love her and I guess I am following my heart to much. But, it's really hard when you don't have a car, I can't obtain new friends, a car is key. Finding girls is especially hard in high school and without a car and I guess I just want a relationship so bad, I want the first girl I see and get....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Calm down man, your 16, and she's 16. It's easy to so involved early in life. But she just sounds manipulative. Wouldn't do cheat on any other guy but her ex-boyfriend? Yeah...that's a great excuse. And you weren't an idiot for spying, you have reasonable doubt and that doubt turned to be true. Goin' behind your back and gettin' on with your friend wasn't very truthful. I know you say you love her, and maybe you do, but if you ask me, this girl is just gonna cause you more pain and trouble.

I could not agree more with this. Just chill man. As much as I hate Cybog_The_5Star, I have to agree with what he said too....fat ass.

As far as THIS:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laguna

• What should I say when she calls?
She knows how I want to be in a relationship, but she just wants a friendship. I’ve never had a long relationship, not longer then a month. I want a relationship like some people have for 2 years, even if it ends. I still want it. I want to experience it.

If it were me, I wouldn't talk to her. I'd just hang up at the sound of her voice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laguna

• What should I do?

ummm LEAVE!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laguna

• Do you think through time we will be back together?

God.. I hope not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laguna

• What do you think is going to happen

I think you're going to get more obsessed with her, and she's going to end up hurting you more.[/quote]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laguna

• I just want a relationship with her, I love her so much. I can’t just let her go, I’m completely stuck. I want her to be in love with me like she was when we were going out and we were both happy.

You'll let her go if you're smart. I think that if it was SINCERE love, you wouldn't care about having her to yourself, you would want her to be happy no matter who she's with, but that's just my opinion.


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DONT READ IF U'LL GET OFFENDED

dude.. she ****ed you after like, a week and a half or what? then, she ****s her ex boyfriend. then, she's kissing your EX-friend.

sounds to me like.. SLUUUUUT!!!!

i would just rid yourself of this disaster, it's horrid. don't worry about your "virginity" because men aren't born with one

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by the way, you think you'll be miserable without her.. but that's only short term. long term, you'll end up being happier than you ever were in your life.