cycle of pain

[ordog]

I love girls. I worship them and the ground they walk on. heres my problem
When I like I girl try to get to know them. I try to play it safe, I try not to flirt, but no matter what I say the girl can tell I like her and will think I'm flirting. It goes down hill from there. The girl will either compleatly dismiss me then or pretend she doesn't notice I'm flirting with her. Somtimes I think I'm doing well and I'll ask the girl out. Some common responses are "loser" "get a life" "I'm not allowed to have a boyfreind" "I don't have a phone" "lets just be freinds". This frustrated me to the point of giving up. Once I've given up a girl who I barely know will find her way TO ME and flirt with me. By that time I'm so lonely and frustrated that I allmost scream yes- but I don't know what kind of person this girl is and sure enough, 99% of the time she's a pyscho (literally they are mentally ill).
I feel powerless to have any effect on which girl I go out with. I'm so lonely that I actually considered asking out a retarded girl once.... I feel like such a failure- worse yet I feel shallow and sexist for asking out so many girls, but I'm so lonely it hurts. What's wrong with me? I'm not ugly, my platonic female friends think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. What am I doing wrong? I think the only way I can break from this cycle of pyschotic girlfreinds is to find a girl in the real world instead of waiting for one to come to me. I'm so lonely.

[Ricky]

Well, I'm not killing the ladies as of right now either, and I am too feeling a little lonely, but I'll shoot in my two cents anyway. If you're waiting for girls to come into you, and they're all the wrong girls, maybe you do need to go out and find some nice ones yourself. Go out, be yourself, be confident.

I've been learning through some newsletters and stuff that girls tend to move away from guys who seem totally obsessed about being way too nice to them. My past experiences verify this as well. I fell in love with this one girl who I was always very nice to. She got a boyfriend and I regretted not asking her out, but I drudged on. I was so in love with her, even though she was taken. She's been broken up with him and has since been through one other guy (whom she left after he hit her). I told her I liked her a little after she dumped the first guy, and nothing ever happened.

That's just one of my experiences, but there's no need to go on about all of them. Just know you're not the only lonely guy out there. Here's hoping you find someone.

[Frasbee]

I just wanna say, I love you guys, you guys are awesome. Screw girls, you don't need 'em, you only think you do. Go climb a mountain, or swim a river, if you do somethin' like that, you'll realize you don't really need girls, most of 'em aren't even worth the heartache. Actually disregard every goddam word I just said, do whatever the hell you want, I'll do the same. I'm gonna go for a walk now...

[Pulchritudinous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordog

I worship them and the ground they walk on...

Stop that! Just stop it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordog

When I like I girl try to get to know them. I try to play it safe, I try not to flirt, but no matter what I say the girl can tell I like her and will think I'm flirting. It goes down hill from there.

Don't make excuses for being a guy and being attracted to women. It's what you're wired to do, so why try to hide it? If a girl picks up that you have a shred of attraction for her and then you try and hold back your interest in her, she'll label you a "girly-man."

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordog

The girl will either compleatly dismiss me then or pretend she doesn't notice I'm flirting with her. Somtimes I think I'm doing well and I'll ask the girl out. Some common responses are "loser" "get a life" "I'm not allowed to have a boyfreind" "I don't have a phone" "lets just be freinds". This frustrated me to the point of giving up.

If the girl had done this for no reason (you had simply approached her to meet her and weren't a jerk) and she said something like, "loser" or "get a life" I would have advised you to always carry a tampon so you can hand it to a girl like that...but girls seem to have a disdain for men who aren't men! Be confident in your approach and don't hide why you're approaching a girl...practice until it's natural!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordog

Once I've given up a girl who I barely know will find her way TO ME and flirt with me. By that time I'm so lonely and frustrated that I allmost scream yes-

The strange effect of being indifferent to women is that they can't stand that lack of interest, hence why you find that the time you stop looking is the time women roll around. Frasbee has some valuable advice in the general idea of "screw girls"...well...in both senses of the phrase...lol...

Just live your life, doing things you like, and not being preoccupied with getting a girlfriend and you'll be better off for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordog

but I don't know what kind of person this girl is and sure enough, 99% of the time she's a pyscho (literally they are mentally ill).

Don't date psychotic women. There are plenty of normal ones to go around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordog

I feel powerless to have any effect on which girl I go out with. I'm so lonely that I actually considered asking out a retarded girl once.... I feel like such a failure- worse yet I feel shallow and sexist for asking out so many girls, but I'm so lonely it hurts. What's wrong with me? I'm not ugly, my platonic female friends think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. What am I doing wrong? I think the only way I can break from this cycle of pyschotic girlfreinds is to find a girl in the real world instead of waiting for one to come to me. I'm so lonely.

Nothing's wrong with you bro, you just need to get some confidence. Take a month and forget about trying to find a relationship, or even a date. Just go out and talk to all the women you can. Beefy chicks, old chicks, hot chicks, just talk to all the ones you can find. The sooner you are able to talk to girls without putting them on a pedestal, the sooner you'll be on your way to having a base for great success.

~P

[knightlionheart]

Ok guys firstly, how old r u?? I guess one of the girls tell u 'i'm not allowed 2 have a boyfriend', i'm assuming, ur pretty young, way below 18 anywayz!!! Ok man here's what u do, instead of being nice, try to b funny, and tease them at times, don't 'worship' the ground they walk on....its just too damn stupid!! Ok another tip try not to go 2 girls with the intention of going out with them. Just casually talk to them as u would to a friend...especially if its a really pretty girl.....a lotta guys would b hitting on her and it would surprise her to c that a guy just wants to talk to her and not try to get into her pants.....this would make her try harder for u to notice her....and another thing, look up for posts by myself and cybog....u might find a lotta help, conflicting ideals...but most of it should help u 2 out!! chill!! laters!!