I need a good excuse

[Bella]

Me and this guy want to get married. the only problem is that i met him on the internet. I have always thought that meeting someone over the internet is ridiculous and it got back at me. anyway my mother is totally against the idea of meeting men on the internet. (she watches alot of those shows about criminal stories happening to girls who meet boys over the internet.) so if i tell her that i met a guy over the net and he asked me to marry him then shes will freak out and i know no matter what i say she will not see past it. the internet is her worst nightmare. so what should i do? i love her so much and shes like my best friend but i dont want to break her heart. i was thinking of maybe a while after we're married i can tell her the truth but for now i really need a good excuse for her to just be happy for me and and except my boyfriend. and the "we love each other so much" speech wont work either. im telling u if she knows that we met on the internet she will not even want to meet him. when i know if she meets him first and gets used to him she will love him just as much. so any help or advice would be great.

ps me and him have been talking over the net for a while then dated in reality for about a year. and hes amazing. and im more than positive that im making the right decision in marrying him.

[Cybog]

Um. Here's a question:

How in the hell are you going to marry someone who your mother hasn't even met yet..??

Also of note, if your relationship is starting off with a bag of lies to your family, maybe you would care to share what ELSE is screwed up with this idea...?

[Frasbee]

I don't see what the big deal is seeing as you dated for a year. If you were just talking on the net for a year...that'd be a different story. Oh, and your mother should stop watching bullshit TV.

[Bella]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybog

Um. Here's a question:

How in the hell are you going to marry someone who your mother hasn't even met yet..??

Also of note, if your relationship is starting off with a bag of lies to your family, maybe you would care to share what ELSE is screwed up with this idea...?

Bag of lies?? excuse me? I dont know about ur problems but me and my mum are like best friends. I have never lied to her about anything, and considering u dont know me or my family then i ssuggest you keep those "bag of lies" speeches to urself. i didnt come here to ask you how you see the situation is, i could go talk to a phsycic instead. so mister "im so cool i treat ppl like shit on the net" is pathetic. it is a forum. and im here to ask for a little help and not here to be judged. so thankyou but next time keep those comments to urself. i know wer to find u if i need such comments.

this is what i call a white lie. because i will tell her how we met later but i know my mum and once she knows that i met him through the net even if i can make her understand she will still be dissapointed in a way. because she absolutley hates the whole internet dating thing. she hasnt met him because me and mum live in ddifferent states. i hardly see her so how can she meet him. so for now all i need is a good excuse for now for her to accept him. if i tell her im briniging my boyfrend home for her to meet and i that we met on the net then she probably wont even want to meet him. so for now its just a little white lie.

[Cybog]

It's a "Little white lie" that you are posting anonymously on an internet forum about, in an attempt to find some way to keep it a secret from your mother about something you are clearly self-concious about.

Quote:

all i need is a good excuse for now for her to accept him

Hmm, sounds like a normal everyday lie to me.

You want advice? Be honest with your mother. If she can't accept you for who you really are, and who HE really is, and how this relationship got started...and accept the fact that you really do love him, then maybe you and your mum aren't as close as you think you are.

This is the same thing as being afraid to bring home a black person if you are white, then fearing your parents rejection because they are prejudice. Your mother obviously doesn't know the feelings you have for this person. Tell her to get used to it, because hundreds and thousands of people every year are meeting because of the internet.

And while your at it, introduce her to something called technology, like cable television and a computer.

P.S.

Quote:

so mister "im so cool i treat ppl like shit on the net" is pathetic

Thanks! Hearing what you think of me makes my day go by much smoother

[Innova]

I have to agree with Cybog here, an excuse in this situation is nothing more then a "White lie", its nothing more then a way to beat around the bush that eventually your going to have to go though anyhow.

You honestly think that if you tell her later, it will somehow make things different...not likely. More and more people are meeting through the Internet. Hell my ex's mom met her husband on the Internet, and they have been happily married for 6-7 years now.

If you like this guy so much, then she has to understand that fact. You are a grown-adult. No offensive, but if hes a great guy, and the only deeming factor to your mom not excepting him, because he was met from over the internet...then she is quite shallow. The internet is no different then meeting people in real life, the only difference is its behind a computer screen..little more risky, yeah. But you have infact been dating him for a while anyways, you are an adult...you make the decision.

[Bella]

Yes ur right Innova and thanx for the advice, but she is so brainwashed about all these things she keeps hearing and our neighbours daughter like 3 years ago met this guy on the net and she told her frends shes gonna meet him and all and then she dissapears and till this day no one knows what happened to her. this is what my mum is scared of. shes always tellling me "people are crazy for trusting a random person over the net" and then it'll be like 'hey mum guess what im one of those crazy people".
i am ofcourse going to tell her later when she sees how happy we are but for her to see how happy we are and to give him a chance i need to not use the word internet. and then she can meet him otherwise she'll keep her door locked. i know its frustrating and my mum is sorta old fashioned and all, but i know if i use a "white lie" for only a few days after she meets him, then ill sit down and talk to her and explain why i had to use this "white lie" because she even admits shes stubborn wen it comes to this sorta stuff.....
oh well i dont think u really understand what its like, thanks anyway

[Cybog]

So, basically you didn't want anyone here to give you "Real Advice", you just wanted someone to pat you on the head and tell you everything is going to be ok....?

You are going to do exactly what you came here asking about, right? No change then? Thanks for wasting our time!