continued issues with inter racial relationship/ Is she a whore? - Love Forum

uptownboy · #1 (**permalink**) 11-02-05, 05:52 AM

Bringing you up to speed:

I'm 27 white dating a 20 yr old black girl.

New problem, and how should I deal with this emotionally?

She told me 5 months ago when we first started dating that in terms of her sexual past she was "fast" as she put it.

I know from past experience that you just don't want to know about this crap.

Well, the other night when we were drinking together it came out, and the # was quite high. As in, THE NUMBER OF COCKS THAT BEEN UP IN DAT.

I consider myself to have been blessed with having the pleasure of modest amount of sexual partners. But this girl has had like more than me and she's only 20.

And I know how it is when people turn 21, she's going to go out and run into a ton of dudes that she's had, and they all going to be thinking, "hmmm, I'm horny, she puts out, lets work it"

Next thing I know, she's going home with dudes from the bars...tell me how I could draw any conclusion but that?

It angers me so much that she's freely given her body like that to soooo many people and makes me feel so insignificant. Like sex is just no big thing to her...kinda like how guys are!

So how do I deal with this? Am I dating a whore? How do I not go insane?

Laguna · #2 (**permalink**) 11-02-05, 06:18 AM

You can tell her how you feel. A girl shouldn't cheat on you. If she's going to go out with other guys and you sit at home paranoid - obviously there is a trust issue. You need to talk to her and get everything situated and worked out. She seems like a whore, but i'm nto a big fan of calling girls whores or sluts. If she keeps doing this after you confront her, then find someone else who is mature with their body and consentual feelings with their boyfriend.

Zekk_T_Strife · #3 (**permalink**) 11-02-05, 08:50 AM

You sound just really paranoid about it. It shouldn't anger you, it has nothing to do with you. She moved to sexual situations with guy quickly, so what? She wasn't with you, she wasn't cheating, that's just how she operates. If she was a guy it wouldn't be this big of a deal how many people she had been with. My first love had been with over 30 people before I knew her. What do I care, that's her business. If it's something where you end up paranoid and insecure about it, it isn't her problem, it's yours.

doll69 · #4 (**permalink**) 11-02-05, 12:07 PM

Zekk is right 100%. You yourself admit there's a double standard. She hasn't cheated so you have no right to call her a whore. You're insecure about dating somebody who's had more experience than you if you ask me.

Cybog · #5 (**permalink**) 11-02-05, 10:40 PM

That about sums it up. Just because some of you are so fast to judge broads who put out, doesn't mean that were the roles reversed you would feel regret or want to be judged.

Hell, half the broads I have dated have been "too slow". Stop being paranoid, and tell her to get some STD tests.

valueprep · #6 (**permalink**) 12-02-05, 01:05 AM

It is quite problematic in that she seemingly lets her self out that easily. However, you do not have to worry if she has turned a new leaf and knows within herself that it is not a path she wants to go down anymore.
Furthermore, if she is honest with you (understandibly under the influence) but nonetheless, candid, then she cares enough about you to tell you the truth.
In my opinion it is a judgement call that I know is difficult and the interracial relationship thing should not be an issue at all!

Good luck bud-

#7 (**permalink**) 12-02-05, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybog

That about sums it up. Just because some of you are so fast to judge broads who put out, doesn't mean that were the roles reversed you would feel regret or want to be judged.

Hell, half the broads I have dated have been "too slow". Stop being paranoid, and tell her to get some STD tests.

I 2nd this.

uptownboy · #8 (**permalink**) 12-02-05, 08:15 AM

Has she turned a new leaf? Who knows, but answer me this:

We judge how a President might make future decisions based on what he did as a Senator in his past, right?

So how is this any different, if the girl's been ran through more times than a gravel road stop sign in the past, what's going to change, am I just a pit stop on her long road to pleasing large amounts of men?

Cybog,
That's good if the one you like is slow moving. That means she won't be in the back seat of some dude's car behind the club at 1:30 in the morning.

uptownboy · #9 (**permalink**) 12-02-05, 08:29 AM

On a side note: Since I've originally posted this we got into a huge fight, but this girl likes fighting and has admitted that she "likes it when guys cuss her out".

This is just one ****ed up girl man.

Cybog · #10 (**permalink**) 12-02-05, 09:23 AM

Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't exactly enjoy it when I am looking for a relationship and the chick wants to suck my **** before she knows my last name.

Granted, I don't mind it when this happens and I'm just out to get mine, but when it comes to romancing, I don't dig on chicks who put out too fast.

Either way, it definitely sounds like you have a "wild stallion" on your hands. And you know what they say about stallions.....

Cybog · #11 (**permalink**) 12-02-05, 09:31 AM

P.S. Who the President is and who you are dating are just a tad different though. You have to basically break down relationships into 2 categories and that's it:

1. Someone I want to ****.

2. Someone I want to spend the rest of my life with ****ing.

Ultimately this is all it boils down to in the long run for us men. Is this someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with? Or is this just the current "flavor of the month" for you?

When you sit down and soul search your relationships, you are going to realize that it is either one or the other. Sure, you can ride it out as long as you want and have a good time. We have all done that. But deep down, you know if this is the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with.

Unfortunately for a lot of the saps who post here, they think it is the girl they want to spend the rest of their life with waaaaaaay too godamn fast, and don't realize it's just a test-drive for the real deal.

The one's that really hurt - and have a reason for bitching - are when you have been with them for years and then suddenly read chat logs on the internet about the mother of your child having recently banged some dude in a gas station bathroom.

Take a guess who that happened to....

knightlionheart · #12 (**permalink**) 13-02-05, 08:06 PM

hey man b happy ur getting it now......if she does feel like going on one of many sexual adventures...ditch the ho' ......there's no point in pursuing.....but the fact that she told u bout this is pretty admirable....in a sick way i suppose.....well just have fun now

Zekk_T_Strife · #13 (**permalink**) 14-02-05, 01:52 AM

If her past sexual experiences get to you that much then break up with her, she deserves someone not so insecure and paranoid who's so quick to judge someone that they supposedly care about.