Advise please

[bluebell]

Hey guys I'd really appreciate it if I could have a minute of your time.

I met this guy about a year ago when he started working at the same place as me. We liked each other but argued all the time- he really used to drive me mad!! We were in the same group of friends, and when they moved on everything changed between us and we just clicked. We started spending loads of time together. We used to cuddle up on the sofa and watch films together- he always used to stoke my hair and kiss me on the forehead. We spent alot of time getting to know each other properly, and after about four months of seeing each other we started becoming closer and more intimate. He's such a respectful guy- when we were together he never got too heavy and trying to get it on with me. When it was the right time for both of us it just happened, and it felt natural. I felt so comfortable with him. We used to lay in bed chatting and would go to sleep all cuddled up- hand in hand. His visa ran out and he had to go back home- only about 8 thousand miles away. When we said goodbye he said that he would miss me so much. Walking away from him with that look on his face was the hardest thing I have ever had to do- it really did break my heart. I didn't hear from him for about a month. I wasn't expecting to hear from him any sooner as he had a lot of catching up to do with his family and friends. But when he text me he just said how much he had been thinking about me and had been missing me so much. He's planning to finish his studies and then immigrate over here and he wants us to be together.

Do you think I would be mad to wait around for him?? I don't wanna sit around and waste my life when he might not move over in the end. But on the other hand I love him so much and wouldn't want to pass up on something special. I don't wanna give up- but my family and friends just tell me that I'm mad and that I am wasting my life away.

Please give me some advise

[sashna]

From wot u've said I think this is something special. Think of all the awful guys out there and you've found one that respects you and loves you. You are so lucky. Don't throw it away on another guy who won't treat you as well. Good luck and I hope everything works out ok.

[bluebell]

I'm so glad i'm not imagining things. I'm not gonna throw things away- he's worth fighting for. Thank you very much for your advise!!

[Cybog]

Especially since being with you could help him get visa faster.

How long are you talking about waiting for?

6 months to a year from now things will be much, much different than they are now. If it is even longer than that - then yes, you will be wasting your time.

[bluebell]

Hello there,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybog

Especially since being with you could help him get visa faster..

He never had plans of living in the UK until we got together. He was in the Uk as a working holiday and was planning to go to back home to uni, get a qualification and travel the world a bit. He decided that he wanted to come and live in the UK permently the day he was going to leave. But hey I guess you could be right

Quote:

How long are you talking about waiting for?

It's about 8 months until he comes back to the UK to visit me.

Quote:

6 months to a year from now things will be much, much different than they are now. If it is even longer than that - then yes, you will be wasting your time.

Yeah your right- it is a long time and I know things will be alot different. We've been apart for several months and it made our relationship stronger and we missed each other so much. It might go wrong but isn't there also a chance it could make our relationship even stronger??

Thanks for your opinion though!

[Cybog]

Ok, 8 months until he visits....how soon are you talking about him being able to actually move?

I know there is a lot of mumbo jumbo out there that will tell you that "absense makes the heart grow fonder" and all of that B.S., but in the real world, Long Distance Relationships suck the giant ass in the sky.

I am not saying it's impossible. I've spent over a year overseas and came back to a woman who loved me even more than before. I'm just saying this - If this isn't someone you are 110% convinced you are willing to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with, then you are in for some rough, rough times.

And no amount of internet advice is going to be able to tell you how strong this relationship is. Only you can do that.

[bluebell]

Thankyou for your advise cybog! I appreciate it