I am a 32 year-old man, living with my 28 year-old girlfriend. We have just passed our 6-year anniversary, and from early days, it has seemed totally right and like this would be it for the long haul. I let her move in with me after only 6 weeks, as she was in a bit of trouble, and we've lived together ever since. I have stated unequivocally from the start that I never want kids, and she has largely been in agreement with that.
I am a mature student at university, 3rd year, doing very well, and my girlfriend is a social worker who is doing very well at her job. We have been planning to emigrate to Australia when I graduate.
Early on in our relationship, it became apparent to me that she had family issues; turbulent relationship with both parents, and a mother in particular who finds it very hard to express love. This has meant that my girlfriend has attachment issues, which, 3 times over the course of our relationship, have surged to the surface and threatened to destroy it. It has also affected her relations with females in general, making her very prone to try to befriend everyone, and frequently falling into , if I can coin a term, 'abusive friendships'. She has also had a propensity to prioritise pleasing others over herself
With all that in mind, for years I have nagged at her to speak to a professional about it, and finally, a few months ago, she started to speak to a counsellor. She has 2 appointments left. She has made great strides with it, and is starting to become much more independent, and I am delighted about that.
However, the problem is that with this new way of thinking about herself, her wants and her life, the spectre of children has reared its head, and has seriously destabilised things. Her official position at the moment is that she "is just thinking about it now properly for the first time". I, however, am deeply pessimistic about the situation and foresee the end is in sight. This is absolutely the last thing I want though; I am mad about her, I frequently tell her she is the best person I've ever met, and frankly, I can't really imagine ever getting on so well, and clicking so completely with, another person again. Not only that, I don't really want to either!
The problem is that I find procreation completely morally objectionable. In overall terms, I don't think life is a good thing, and since I was a teenager I've wished that I'd never been born. To me, life is nothing but a series of struggles and slavery, and the longer mine goes on, the more I feel that way, so naturally I find the idea of inflicting it on my own children repugnant. If it was any other issue, I could compromise, find some kind of way round it, but this is really The Big One for me.
So I know it sounds like I've posted a closed question, but I am doing so in desperation in the hope that someone can throw an idea into the ring, or recommend a course of action, or something, ANYTHING that will enable me to save my relationship.
Life isn't great, but life without her would be incredibly bleak indeed.
Any thoughts, suggestions and ideas welcome. Please help.