Call Me Crazy...

[inkeepingsecret]

OK, here's my current situation. I am somewhat "dating" this girl. I enjoy hanging out with her, and i also enjoy not being commited. She is cute, smart, funny, blah blah blah. Everything I could want, but there is one problem.

I know this might sound weird, but this girl is too god damn selfless. Seriously, its annoying. There's no mystery and no guessing. I might eat my words in the future, but isnt there supposed be some guessing. It feels way too comfertable, way too soon, and (ashamed to admit it) may not respect her as much as i should. Did she bring this on herself? Dont get me wrong i do like her

Here's an example - I say, "man i'm hungry, but its too cold out to go grab some food" she says, "what do you want? i'll go run and get something"

I wasnt saying that with the intention of her going to get me something. What i'm saying is that stuff like this happens all the time. I ask her time and time again to be a little more selfish. (once again, i might regret this) Maybe its the asian in her? I heard they like to take care of their men. <-woah that was a stereotypical comment.

Has anyone else in here been in a similar situation? advice?

[misombra]

u crazy.

just kidding. i'm not sure. some people are just like that. i'm not like that so i couldn't say why. if you told me you were hungry i'd say something like, "me too, take me out to eat." but i'm kind of an assertive person. but some people are not like me.

i guess it just depends on whether or not you're willing to deal with it.

[inkeepingsecret]

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

if you told me you were hungry i'd say something like, "me too, take me out to eat."

yeah i think thats what i want, but of course when i find a girl that is "assertive," i'll probably ***** too.

[schueys_girl]

'but of course when i find a girl that is "assertive," i'll probably ***** too.'
lol probably inkeeping but thats what lifes about!

Im quite a bit like mis...my response to the hungry thing would be pretty much the same! Altho i do have my moments where i mite think 'awww he's been really good today or hes done some really nice things etc' in which case i would go out of my way to do something for him, and my bf is the same. I think its best to have a balance. Like you say if someone is too avaliable or selfless u can lose some respect for them (altho i have no idea why) and completely selfish people just hack me off!

I doubt you'll be able to change her tho...and you probably shouldnt even try...you just need to work out if this attitude is something you can cope with...im sure there are plenty of worse points she could have!

[inkeepingsecret]

Quote:

Originally Posted by schueys_girl

im sure there are plenty of worse points she could have!

you have a point there. Out of all the things to complain about with a girl, this one shouldnt even be a issue. I have never been a fan of the games, but right now thats what i want. hahah


(dud u just say that?)

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by inkeepingsecret

Maybe its the asian in her? I heard they like to take care of their men. <-woah that was a stereotypical comment.

Yeah, asians are a bunch of loons. I'll tell you that much.

[inkeepingsecret]

damn asians!!! hahah


im so bored... What can we talk about???

[schueys_girl]

its wierd because whenever we find a negative point about a person we just focus on that...and forget all the positive ones that they have. Wierd i know. I find myself doing and I try and think of all the positive ones and it seems to prevent quite a few silly arguments Human nature is straaaaaaange!

[sfalexi]

I agree with you. I would find the same thing annoying.

This goes back to the thread on how a guy should not be a pushover, but not an *******. Same with the girl. And it seems like she's being a bit of a pushover.

Alexi

[Cybog]

If it really starts to bother you, start asking her what she wants to do/eat/see/talk about etc. Slowly she might realize that she doesn't have to "please you" all the time and will learn what it is like to make some of her own decisions.

Sometimes girls can be overly possessive or needy. Watch out for that.

[inkeepingsecret]

I do try and ask her what she wants to do/eat/see/talk. Usually, in a relationship, I being a guy make those decisions most of the time. I've noticed with this girl, that she is ALWAYS ok with what i feel like doing. This is quite annoying too. So i started asking her more and more what she wants to do, and she gives me the "whatever you want to do is fine."

Doesn't she get it that I asked her what she wants to do? Damn woman, do you want me to be an *******? I want her to say "no, i dont really want to see that movie," or "i dont really like mexican"

god damn it woman, tell me what you want already!!!!

maybe, she is used to guys being assholes???? i dont know
lol

[Frasbee]

How about this, show her this thread. Everything that's been on your mind is all right here. Maybe she'll get it then.

[misombra]

"i dont really like mexican"

it'll never happen.