He didn't say "I Love You Too"

[audrakitten]

I have been dating a guy for about 3 months now. We spend just about everyday together. He has said things like, "I've never had feelings like this for anyone before". He has also said that "He can picture himself having a family with me." I just recently decided that I was ready to declare my love to him. Well, he did not say it back. I am confused. I asked him how he did feel about me, and he basically said, "Well, I like you alot." I feel stupid now, because I was sure that he was to that point. Now I just don't know what he thinks about the situation. I definately feel like I am getting mixed signals from him. I don't know if I should talk to him about it, or just see how things go????

[IceQueen]

How old are both of you?

[Illusional]

wow...very basic and to the point. actually i like your responce ice... audra... people fall in love at different points in time. two people don't feel the same towards one another until they have both realized they want to spend the rest of their lives together. however three months is a very short time to fall in love with someone and the talk about marriage and seeing himself with you in the future, i believe is still quite early. nevertheless, don't feel shame about the way you feel towards him because he doesn't say i love you back. i love you are only words without meaning if the person doesn't return it back. raverboy

[Killerbabe]

maybe he does love you, but he doesn't realize it...yet. Or maybe he does but he's scared of the situation he's in. If he does tell you (sincerely) stuff like 'I can picture having a family with you" and yahdahyahdah, then it's all gravy baby! You know for sure that he's not playing with you.

[IceQueen]

Audra, got your mail. Thinking.

[IceQueen]

He is either:
1) ****ing your brains (you know, he feels more powerful when you are trying to solicit his affection);
2) Is not too sure he wants to stay with you;
3) Getting back at you for something (he might have said something before and you didn't answer "correctly").

In any case, you cool off your jets, and either make this thing completely casual, or, if you're not interested in a casual thing, leave him completely alone and continue on dating around.

In any case, do not initiate contact with him yourself -- you have a power imbalance going on right now, so all the interest in this relationship should be coming purely from him.

Do your own thing more. Get hobbies, enroll in classes, hang with friends. Become less available. Cancel on him a little.