An "In Love With Your Friend" Thing - Love Forum

S57 · #1 (**permalink**) 24-02-05, 01:27 PM

I feel, without any doubt, that I am completely in love with someone I have been friends with for about 6 months. Everything just feels so right that it's like a sense of knowing. I'm prtty sure that if I just cme outand told her that I was in loe wth her and all, she would probably freak out. I've never been in a situation like this and I've never been in love, noe ever even thought I was in love, until now. What should I do? Are there any kind of subtle things I could do to hint at the fact that I view her a smuch more than a friend. I don't want to be stupid and blow it. Thank you

bohemiandonut · #2 (**permalink**) 24-02-05, 01:41 PM

I think we need a bit more information. Is this a chick you work with? Go to school with? How'd you meet her? How's the friendship?

Elucidate a little and then we can begin to help.

S57 · #3 (**permalink**) 24-02-05, 02:32 PM

We met at school (college) We go out a good bit and we always have a good time. In the past she has said that she is not prepared at this point for a relationship, due to past experience that she has not completely ridded out of her system, She mentioned this about a month ago. I have never felt like this about another person though. The feeling is so strong, and I have definitely never experienced it before. I really want to convey to her how much I care about her and feel for her, but I am so scared that I could risk blowing this all to hell if I just came out and expresssed myself fully about my true feelings. I don't know, I just have a gut feeling that subtlety is the way I should approach this situation. I really want to subtley, yet progressively, let her know how I feel and see where things can lead to.

bohemiandonut · #4 (**permalink**) 24-02-05, 02:40 PM

I hate to say it, but there's no social lubricant better than good 'ol booze. Why not take her out to a party, get a little lit with her, and then declare your love/hint subtly?

That's what I would do if you can. Spontaneity seems to be the best way for these things to evolve. Though the next day might be awkward, it will be YOUR responsibility to make sure she KNOWS that it wasn't just a drunken slip, that you meant what you said to her (if you can remember.) But acknowledge (on this day 2) that you aren't pushing her into anything. That you are glad you put it out there even though you had been waiting and are a little scared yourself.

I might avoid the word "love."

Laguna · #5 (**permalink**) 24-02-05, 11:08 PM

No, bohemian is wrong, don't get her drunk. Here's what you do: When you guys are hanging out, just be like "I'm starting to really like you and I don't mean to freak you out." Say things like "I want to know how you would feel about pursuing a relationship or going beyond our friendship." Make sure you say things like "how would you feel..." or else then she might be freaked out or feel pushed into it. Just be calm and serious and look at her eyes and give emotion when talking. Should work like a charm. Bohemian is right about the word love thou, just do like I said, avoid the word love for now.

bohemiandonut · #6 (**permalink**) 25-02-05, 07:12 AM

Bohemian is never wrong.

Alcohol is probably a big factor in the evolution of many friendships into sexual fun times!

Sad? Maybe. But true.

Besides, you don't even give a reason why he should not get her drunk. I think, that intoxicated there's a better chance she won't be freaked out.

S57 · #7 (**permalink**) 25-02-05, 12:44 PM

It might be easier to talk about things if we were both completely liqoured up, but she does not drink...at all, so I can't use alcohol in this one.

Laguna · #8 (**permalink**) 25-02-05, 12:54 PM

I win.

....do as I said then.

bohemiandonut · #9 (**permalink**) 25-02-05, 12:55 PM

This round, laguna. This round...

Speaking of rounds, who wants to get lit? If you read my latest post you'll understand what I mean.