ummm... i g0t issues

[god_boy]

Hi,

I am 21 years old and I have never had a girlfriend (yes I am a virgin ).

I honestly don't know why. I am well educated, decent looking, sociable enough and outgoing, but I am lost when it comes to girls. I have no idea what they're looking for, what they want or how to give it to them. When I talk to girls I get sensory overload or some shit and go red in the face and stutter my words and say stupid shit and basically look like a massive MASSIVE tool. I think I also fear girls to some extent, and fear rejection. I think the best explanation for this is because my mother didn't love me as a child because she thought I was too ugly *gasp* (she was ****ed up too) so I didn't associate much with her and daddy was too busy protecting me from her. I'm sure at that stage he didn't realise doing that would mean I'd turn out a bit sexually... "backward". **** I have lost so much not having a female role model in my childhood, and I fear I will never learn that innate ability most children unconsciously learn from their mothers how to win over women and sweep them of their feet . I just don't have any confidence in my abilities, my looks or my tuning capabilities whatsoever. Dang fark.

Is there hope, or am I a lost cause?

Please help

love
Adam

[Laguna]

Just stop thinking to much. That's people problems today. They want to plan out everything. Just go with the flow with girls. Don't immediately try to have sex with them. Just have casual conversations with them and eventually go more and more. You need to just get tough and think tough.

[Frasbee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by god_boy

sociable enough and outgoing

Obviously not.

[indie68]

Having positive role models in your life is extremely important. I had an ******* father, and now I have a problem in dealing with relationships with men. BUT. You can only play victim for so long before you stop living in the past, pick yourself up, get some self-confidence, and move on. Any girl worth being around, wants conversation first, don't get caught up in anything other than the present. Nobody can teach you how to act around girls. I'm sure you hear, just be yourself, alot. It is true, just talk and be yourself. The thing is that girls like to talk anyways, just ask her a question about herself, and she can talk about that forever, trust me, I do it all the time and don't mean too..lol. And if you ask a girl about herself, she'll appreciate you not thinking about yourself. Good luck!

[JimmyHat]

Quit blaming other people and act like a man. Just put on an act for girls. Go for the tough bad ass guy routine and pick up some chics.

[Prodigal]

Be natural. You seem to be worrying too much. First impressions ARE important, so I suppose it's most important to be natural and not act like something you're not. Maybe try to talk to girls more... you know, casually, don't think too much about trying to get a date with them, just talk. It'll probably help you become more comfortable around girls. It'll help you to be more natural.

If you are just you, and don't deliberate about what you're going to say (what i mean is, no unnatural conversation), you should find somebody. Fear of rejection is hard, but once you start debating with yourself whether or not you should ask some girl out, the time should come when you feel strongly enough to just gather your courage and ask. And once that happens, you gotta be ready for anything. Just think, what's worse: asking and getting rejected (but having a chance), or not asking and never have any chance?