Need Some Advice!

[CoolCalico2001]

Hi guys... I came here because I wanted a non-biased opinion on my situation...

I met a guy back during the summer. Although a lot of our hobbies are different, emotionally we connected very well. He understood me better than anyone I've met in the past. I sleep over at his house most of the time, and we usually spend our free time together.

However, we've come to a bump... which may not need to be a bump, I don't know. Going forward, keep in mind that I really do love this guy...

He wants to move to the Keys. He wants me to come with him. He wants to have 2 months worth of money saved up, so when we get down there, he can get an apt by the water, and a boat, and then start his own business, which basically will be taking up to 6 people out for the day to go kiteboarding. Either half a day, or entire day. He will offer lessons, and he will have drinks provided on the boat. He wants me to help him run his business.

Me, I'd like to go back to school. Probably is, what I want to go for (Printing Management), isn't offered at a lot of schools. None in FL. It's a 4-year degree. The school I'm most interested in is in Utah, near SLC. Now, we were out there for a week this winter to go skiing/snowboarding.

He doesn't like the cold. He wants to live where it's warm. He's a beach guy. I've finally figured out what I would like to do with my life (I'm 22), and I need the schooling to get there. He (who is 25), also knows what he wants to do, which is the gig in the Keys.

What do I do? Do I give up what I would like to do for love? Go down there and help him with his business? Hope it works out for us?? Or do I leave him (becuase he does not want to go with me to Utah...) and go for the education? I'm torn. I really, really do care about this guy, but at the same rate, I really, really would like to go back to school.

Help?!

[cycletease]

You are in a real bind! Loving someone makes you want to do whatever it takes to make a life together work. A life together will not work, however, if you feel that you have sacrificed your life for someone else. Only you can decide if this is too great a sacrifice.

A good way to analyze this may be to think about things if they don't work out with this guy. Say 5-6 years down the road you are living in Florida and you guys break up. Will you be angry then that you didn't follow your own career path and that you "wasted" all of this time? Or will you be able to chock it all up to life and experience and walk away with a healthy mindset?

In your shoes I do not know what I would do. I know that my current SO has talked about moving away and I have declined to go. I have stuck by my own priorities so far knowing that I would be unhappy with a compromise like that.

[indie68]

Personally, I would go to school, just try it. If you don't, I fear that you will resent him at some point, you will always wonder what you could have made out of your career. If you go and you can't stand to be away from him, and you realize that the career isn't worth it, then move to the Keys with him. Ask him to give you the time that you need (not asking for permission, but for him to stay faithful and committed to your relationship) so that you can figure it out. I went through the same thing my first year of college, I had a soccer scholarship, and I went away and left my bf of 4 years...I came back though because it was him that got me through everyday, not soccer. But if I would have never gone, I always would've wondered, and I know that I would have resented him. If this guy loves you and you guys have the bond that you say that you do, then it will work itself out. But you need to do things for yourself and grow as your own individual person. You could be passing up an opportunity of a lifetime with school, if he loves you, he will always be there for you. Plant your feet firmly on the ground, because when nobody else is there for you, you have to take care of yourself. Good luck