the important question about relationships - Love Forum

mystere1010 · #1 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 04:33 AM

ok, so im a freshman in college and my girlfriend is a junior in hs. We've been going out for 6 months, and we both want to wait for the right time to have sex... which could be a while but both of us are ok with it. in the mean time, we do other playful sexual things. I feel like we are doing great and sharing alot, being patient, truthful, etc. with that said, i want to know if anyone has seen relationships built like this to last forever. I would like to be with someone that i can share the rest of my life with, and my girlfriend knows this and she says that she agrees, but should i believe it? we've already discussed the future ahead, etc, but shes a junior in hs... should i expect her views or her personally to change? can relationships last forever at this age? anyone have any similar stories? all input is appreciated. Thanks

BlackRose · #2 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 05:43 AM

Honestly... Nothing lasts forever. lol Sorry for the pessimistic view, but it is the truth. As for spending your lives together, I can't tell you what is going to happen. There have been times when two people (as young as the two of you) fall in love and end up having a meaningful relationship. Can I get some ages though? I am assuming you are around 22 and she is either 16 or 17? That said, I think you should stop and think. She has a lot of maturing to do still and you will notice changes in her within the next year or two. They may be changes that you accept or you may not. This could make or break the relationship in the end. Just be supportive of her and realize that you are older and a tad more mature then she is. Since you two aren't having sex, I wont preech about how it is a tad wrong for a college MAN to seduce a YOUNG high school girl. Just don't have sex with her until you two are ready (preferably after she turns 18).

mystere1010 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 05:48 AM

im 18.... which is 2 years older than her. freshman in college... and fyi, if i was 22 thats disgusting.

BlackRose · #4 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 05:52 AM

I read the post wrong. Sorry... lol
It's been a long day.

misombra · #5 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 05:57 AM

that's so young to be thinking about forever. and rose is right, nothing lasts forever. why don't you guys just enjoy your time together and not worry about whether it works out or not, it's not important to either of you, you both have so much time and so much more growing to do. don't hurry "forever", it doen't exist.

but anyway, i've seen a lot of things work out, i've seen two people who can't stand each other be the happiest of couples and i've seen people who were so in love and then everything ended suddenly. you never know if it's going to work out or not.

mystere1010 · #6 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 05:59 AM

so shes gonna change? is that what ur saying? u've never seen a relationship like this work out in the long run? has anyone? adviece etc? thanks

misombra · #7 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 06:05 AM

of course she's going to change. everything changes. i said i've seen all kinds of shit work out in the longrun. maybe you should go see a psychic if you have to know that badly.

BlackRose · #8 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mystere1010

so shes gonna change? is that what ur saying? u've never seen a relationship like this work out in the long run? has anyone? adviece etc? thanks

Duh she's gunna change. So are you. It's a part of life. We grow and we learn new things all the time. It's a part of the process. As misombra said in another thread... You people are all looking for the magic cure to your problems. There is no surefire way to guarentee your relationship. Just work hard at being understanding, communicate everything you can and just be happy with the time you have together. Live for today rather then looking ahead tomorrow. Our society puts a lot into "the future" and we end up missing out on a lot of now moments. Just be happy with your self in the present and try not to worry so much about what is going to happen later on. Think about it, fine, just don't base everything on this.

mystere1010 · #9 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 06:27 AM

true... very true

BlackRose · #10 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 06:38 AM

Glad you think so.

I thought it was a good philosophy.

bohemiandonut · #11 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 07:41 AM

You crazy kids with your waiting to have sex...

Do you buy a car and then wonder, "Hmm, now when will be the best time to drive this thing?" No. You drive it as soon as she is turned on. Aha. Ahahaha!

Carpe diem, live for the moment, yada yada. Just don't dump her right after you sleep with her. That's a no-no.

Good luck!

And as for the forever thing, erase that from your thoughts. It will make you jealous, demanding, controlling, all the stuff that (paradoxically) ensures that it won't last forever. See what I mean?

Peace.

BlackRose · #12 (**permalink**) 03-03-05, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bohemiandonut

You crazy kids with your waiting to have sex...

Do you buy a car and then wonder, "Hmm, now when will be the best time to drive this thing?" No. You drive it as soon as she is turned on. Aha. Ahahaha!

Carpe diem, live for the moment, yada yada. Just don't dump her right after you sleep with her. That's a no-no.

Good luck!

And as for the forever thing, erase that from your thoughts. It will make you jealous, demanding, controlling, all the stuff that (paradoxically) ensures that it won't last forever. See what I mean?

Peace.

Just have sex when you are both ready. That's all there is to it. There is no set time limit or anything. If it feels right for both of you tomorrow, then go for it. If it takes a year, then that is fine too. Just use protection (pills and condom preferably-two forms is best) and have fun.