want him to know how i feel

[aquagal]

hi and sorry if its a bit longwinded..
there's a guy at work i've known about 4 years and have always gotten along really well with and about 6 months ago i surprised myself as i started to have feelings for him...he was flirting with me a bit, but i would just laugh it off as i thought maybe that's the way he was with everyone...anyway, to cut a long story short, over the last couple of months we've been out a few times - just casual stuff like going for a drive and having lunch and browsing through shops etc and to the movies as i had a free pass...the 3 times we've gone out have been at my suggestion and i must say he's been most enthusiastic each time...until recently, i didnt want him to know how i feel for some reason (i think the fear of rejection thing), but now i do want him to know, but i'm not sure how to approach it...everyone who knows him says hes shy and reserved and seem to think that he maybe feels the same towards me, but is just too afraid also to say/do anything about it...yesterday i saw him in the lunchroom and sat down and had a bit of a chat, but then there would be this awkward silence where i couldnt think of anything to say and it's just starting to kill me...i want to suggest another outing, but can't think of anywhere...any suggestions??? and any ideas how i can let him know i'm interested without scaring him off??? thanks in advance....

[IceQueen]

So there has been no initiative from him whatsoever? If I were you, I'd can it. UNLESS, of course, by asking him out yourself too frequently, you didn't give him a chance to ask YOU out. First, give him a chance to show initiative (let *him* come up to *you* or ask *you* out for a change). THEN you can proceed.

[shafkore]

Before you said he was a shy guy, I was going to say that myself from what I read.

I say, be the strong one with the balls in the situation. I say bring what you two have been hiding in the dark into the open.

The awkwardness is starting now becuase your feelings are becoming much more intense and also because you don't know how he's feeling about you.

I think, because he is a shy guy (as you said), that you should find a time when you two are alone (in the car, in a field looking at stars, whatever) and tell him how you feel. What's the worse that is going to happen ? You are going to feel awkward after that ? --- You ALREADY feel awkward NOW. If anything, this will relieve the doubt in your mind and finally give you the answer.

He may say, yes, he does have feeling for you.
Or,
He may say, no, he doesn't.

Be prepared, and understand you are not the first one who is about to do this. It's been going on forever. And EVERYONE has gotten a yes, and atleast one "no."

Be brave, and follow your heart, AND understand the repercussions of your actions/plans.

Btw, when you tell him how you feel, don't tell him EVERYTHING at once. Bring it on slowly, like,

"over these last few months my feelings have become ...."
or question him a bit,
"how do you think we have become these last few months..."

Be creative. Find something that will truly express how YOU are feeling, but in a subtle way.

Your friend,

[JohnsonROd]

In my experience, guys won't usually spend exclusive time with a female unless he is interested in her.

That's the way I am- if a girl has asked me to go somewhere exclusive I wouldn't want to send a false signal- so you do have that sign...

Just come out and say Over the past while I've developed a crush on you or something to that effect..

Do iT!!

[Jay-Tea]

JohnsonROd's right, just go ahead and do it!
You can either write it as a small note, or tell him in a light manner, like "You're nice. I like you." Whatever you think is appropriate, just take that little step of confidence. After all, you owe it to your heart

[aquagal]

thanks for taking the time to reply...i really appreciate it and i think i will just bite the bullet when the time feels right ... thanks for the confidence vote!

[julie]

You should actually - If you need a push (forgive me if you dont) - talk to him. Like, find out what his interests are. If you get to know him, talking wont be a problem.

"Hey, what do you normally do after work, on the weekends, with your friends?"

"If you could go anywhere you wanted right now where would you go?" "This weekend?"

"If you could eat anything you wanted for the rest of your life what would it be?"

"Do you know of any good restaurants we should go to for lunch sometime? Why?"

You see? Get to know him. Then the next time you see him - Tell him (dont ask, tell), say Im gonna take you out to this awesome italian place for lunch since you love it so much. when do you want to go?

Come on - have some balls...