What would you do? - Love Forum

nebulachich · #1 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 03:39 AM

Ladies what would you do? You run into a guy you haven't seen in years that you used to know in highschool. You're 28, he's 29. You start dating. You find out in a few weeks that he has never lived outside of his parents house and hasn't had a job through most his 20s (he won the lottery at 19 and got his immediate family members out of debt and squandered the rest). As a matter of fact the first date you went on (of course you had to pick him up bcuz he didn't have a car) his mother yells to him as you're leaving "do you need more $$$ honey????"

I and his mother hint to him as time goes on that maybe he should get a job to which he usually responded angrily. She eventaully gave him her old escort piece of crap car with no heat when she got a new car and he never cleaned it/maintained it. Meanwhile he constantly tells me how lame the work I do is bcuz it's corporate and not helping society. After badgering him to death he eventually gets a job working with the retarded and holding himself in very high regard for what he does. He tells me he wants to marry me and have kids. :roll eyes: Believe it or not I continue dating him for 3 more years. Finally I can't take it anymore and end up goiong out with someone I met on line. I don't tell my current boyfriend until after the 2nd date. He flips out of course.

I felt so guilty about "cheating" on him for years now.... but I waited so long for him to get his act together and stop criticizing me!

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 03:56 AM

well you knew from the first date what you were getting into. also i'm offended, i work with retarded people. of course nobody had to pester me to get my job, but still, lay off those of us who do it. but anyway, don't blame him for your cheating, he was just being him, you knew what he was like.

DBallerz · #3 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 03:59 AM

Hes a good person and you don't see it. If you knew it wouldnt have worked out why did you keep on going out with him ? You seem like a very selfish person and he is very generous. I hope he broke up with you and on different ways.

nebulachich · #4 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 05:07 AM

I'm was not trying to imply ANYTHING negative about people who work with retarded. I think it's an amazing job to take on.. something I considered doing long before and after I started dating him. The problem I had was the way he criticized anything I tried to do for work. I am a musician and believe in the healing power of music as well but he criticized me when I attempted to do that too.

I kept dating him because I did really care about him and I did think he was a great guy in a lot of ways, but I was barley and still am barely scraping by and he was talking about getting married and having kids and didn't even have a job!!! He said he would help me pay for my apartment when I moved. I could only afford a studio and one night he criticized it for being too small... let alone he never did help to pay on it even though he was there almost every night. When I asked him why he woudln't chip in he said "I told you I would help pay for an apartment if it was a one bedroom".

Now he's dating a woman who bought a house recently and he said something to the effect of moving in but not sure he'll be able to contribute to the mortgage.

So who's selfish now? This is also the same guy who used to whine how his mother had to work so hard (5:00am - 8:00pm) since his father is incapaitatied and yet never got a job to help her out and one night he got really angry when he realized she forgot to buy Coke after work when she went shopping and he in turn had to walk down the street to get some... and those were again in the days he wasn't even working!

Blazin Trav · #5 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 06:27 AM

The guy you are dating doesn't have his life together. He sounds like a loser to me. Sorry babe but I'd say let him go...

Only-virgins · #6 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nebulachich

Ladies what would you do? You run into a guy you haven't seen in years that you used to know in highschool. You're 28, he's 29. You start dating. You find out in a few weeks that he has never lived outside of his parents house and hasn't had a job through most his 20s (he won the lottery at 19 and got his immediate family members out of debt and squandered the rest). As a matter of fact the first date you went on (of course you had to pick him up bcuz he didn't have a car) his mother yells to him as you're leaving "do you need more $$$ honey????"

I and his mother hint to him as time goes on that maybe he should get a job to which he usually responded angrily. She eventaully gave him her old escort piece of crap car with no heat when she got a new car and he never cleaned it/maintained it. Meanwhile he constantly tells me how lame the work I do is bcuz it's corporate and not helping society. After badgering him to death he eventually gets a job working with the retarded and holding himself in very high regard for what he does. He tells me he wants to marry me and have kids. :roll eyes: Believe it or not I continue dating him for 3 more years. Finally I can't take it anymore and end up goiong out with someone I met on line. I don't tell my current boyfriend until after the 2nd date. He flips out of course.

I felt so guilty about "cheating" on him for years now.... but I waited so long for him to get his act together and stop criticizing me!

Wow..that sounds alot like my life. The "no job" part at least.

Only-virgins · #7 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nebulachich

I'm was not trying to imply ANYTHING negative about people who work with retarded. I think it's an amazing job to take on.. something I considered doing long before and after I started dating him. The problem I had was the way he criticized anything I tried to do for work. I am a musician and believe in the healing power of music as well but he criticized me when I attempted to do that too.

I kept dating him because I did really care about him and I did think he was a great guy in a lot of ways, but I was barley and still am barely scraping by and he was talking about getting married and having kids and didn't even have a job!!! He said he would help me pay for my apartment when I moved. I could only afford a studio and one night he criticized it for being too small... let alone he never did help to pay on it even though he was there almost every night. When I asked him why he woudln't chip in he said "I told you I would help pay for an apartment if it was a one bedroom".

Now he's dating a woman who bought a house recently and he said something to the effect of moving in but not sure he'll be able to contribute to the mortgage.

So who's selfish now? This is also the same guy who used to whine how his mother had to work so hard (5:00am - 8:00pm) since his father is incapaitatied and yet never got a job to help her out and one night he got really angry when he realized she forgot to buy Coke after work when she went shopping and he in turn had to walk down the street to get some... and those were again in the days he wasn't even working!

You know ...I just realized that you thread is called "what would you do?"..I do not get it. It seems like you either dump him if you do not like the situation you are in or not..and you did by cheating on him..so what IS THE FREAKING POINT OF THIS ENTIRE THREAD? To me he sounds like a cool guy. I can re-late to him. I am lazy as all hell and I hate it when people make it sound like it is some huge accomplishment to buy a house and all these things. Seriously....whocares?.

Wake-up,eat,masterbate,play games, drive car around, masterbate, eat,sleep.....repeat the process. That is so far my plan for life...what you guys think?

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Wow..that sounds alot like my life. The "no job" part at least.

How long have you been unemployed?

Innova · #9 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 02:49 PM

No job really sucks, im being dead serious on that one. Before I got a job at Intel, it was quite the time since I had a job.

Frasbee · #10 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

You know ...I just realized that you thread is called "what would you do?"..I do not get it. It seems like you either dump him if you do not like the situation you are in or not..and you did by cheating on him..so what IS THE FREAKING POINT OF THIS ENTIRE THREAD? To me he sounds like a cool guy. I can re-late to him. I am lazy as all hell and I hate it when people make it sound like it is some huge accomplishment to buy a house and all these things. Seriously....whocares?.

Wake-up,eat,masterbate,play games, drive car around, masterbate, eat,sleep.....repeat the process. That is so far my plan for life...what you guys think?

If you don't care...

There's no reason why we should either, right?

bohemiandonut · #11 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 02:57 PM

I bet Innova is f*cking loaded.

Can you get me a job dude? I'm serious. I could, like, write or something...

Or seduce imposters.

Or kill man-children.

Please?

nebulachich · #12 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 09:28 PM

I called it "What would you do?" I guess because I was wondering if other women in particular would have put up with him as long as I did or at all (i.e., would you have even considered dating someone like him?)

misombra · #13 (**permalink**) 10-03-05, 10:37 PM

i wouldn't have even considered dating him...