Is being happy all you can hope for? - Love Forum

Prodigal · #1 (**permalink**) 09-03-05, 10:35 AM

I have been thinking a lot about my situation lately. A hell of a lot. Usually, they've been the same or variations of the same. Which path should I take, which girl should I go with? Go for the surefire, or take a chance at the unsure?

Today, I asked myself in a less direct way.

Is being happy all I should ask for? Being with this one girl makes me happy. I forget about what's going on when I'm around her. She's a lot of fun. We talk a lot over the phone, we have known each other for over a year now, and we've always been extremely close (from within a month of knowing her). She lives right by where I may go to college in the fall. She really is a great person..

But should I be happy with it, even if I don't feel that special spark? There is this other girl that I have also talked to for a while, but due to time difference and the workload in school, I don't get to talk with her as much. She will be going to college on the east coast while I will be staying in California.

The only thing is... I feel like we connect. I connect with her on a deeper level than anyone I've ever known. It's like I've known her from a past life or something. We talk about all sorts of things, yet she makes every topic we talk about interesting, stimulating, and.. alluring.

I think about them both, but I always seem to long for the girl who I don't get to talk to as much unless I recently talked to the other girl. Something inside me tells me that this is.. love. That I am this piece to a jigsaw puzzle, and she is the one who fits right next to me, snug and secure. But life keeps us far away from each other, and I really don't know if we'll ever live close enough.

Is being happy with someone enough? Can someone live the rest of their life (or for a very long time) with someone who makes them happy... but they don't feel they love? And is this possible knowing that the one you feel is right is out there, and that you know her?

Are my dreams too outlandish? Is being happy all I can hope for, happiness without true love?

bohemiandonut · #2 (**permalink**) 09-03-05, 11:09 AM

Ever heard the phrase, "You want what you can't have?"

"The grass is always greener on the other side?"

"You don't know what you've got till it's gone?"

"Pave paradise, put up a parking lot?"

Catch my drift? Just relax and enjoy with desires (the root of all suffering.)

Peace

misombra · #3 (**permalink**) 09-03-05, 02:16 PM

this kinda reminds me of that movie clerks. the guy has a girlfriend who brings him lunch everyday, does everything right (with the exception of having sucked a great number of dicks), but he pines after his exgirlfriend who treated him like shit.

Ratfish256 · #4 (**permalink**) 09-03-05, 02:19 PM

Don't bake a pie with old eggs.

There is no pain you are receding.

The lunatic is on the grass.

I'm coming into Los Angels

You can get anything you want, (aceppting Alice)

Where have all the flowers gone?

Catch my drift?

Frasbee · #5 (**permalink**) 09-03-05, 02:47 PM

The toast is burnt cause you left it in too long.

Catch my drift?

bohemiandonut · #6 (**permalink**) 09-03-05, 03:02 PM

Yeah, and I'm the one trying to "fit in."

(Still bitter.)

::scowls::

Paix.

Prodigal · #7 (**permalink**) 15-03-05, 10:07 AM

I feel bad for replying since I feel as if I'm bumping, but I really needed a few days to let this sink in and culminate.

To be quite honest, I didn't understand what some of you guys were saying. To be blunt, I guess I didn't 'catch the drift'.

I feel as if you guys are telling me to stay with the sureshot... and that if I gave up on it and tried after the other girl, that everything would just crumble. The quote that meant the most was "Pave paradise, put up a parking lot". Are you saying I should just give up on my dreams and cover them up?

If so, it seems reasonable. After considerable thought... I think that it may be best for me to do just that. It's depressing to think that I actually talk to who I think may be 'the one'.. in that we share something incredibly special that I've never felt in my life. The problem is that she just lives too far away. And with the realization that she may be going to England... it's crushing. I feel that this would be perfect if only we were closer.

I suppose you guys are right with your advice, and I am very thankful for that. That maybe I'm wishing for too much. It's just a bit hard because that wish IS tangible. Part of me really feels as if I'd be missing out on the best thing that could ever happen to me. But could it really happen? That's the real question. To move halfway across the world to be with someone in which it may not even turn out? It's just really tough.

I'd really appreciate it if I got some more feedback, and I'm very thankful for you guys who have replied. This is truly the biggest dilemma I have ever faced.

applecyder · #8 (**permalink**) 15-03-05, 10:16 AM

I've been thinking alot about life in general for myself lately too.

For your situation, I would say that a person can DEFINATLEY be happy being close to someone without having a spoken romantic spark between the two. I personally was once very close to a girl who I simply will probably never be with, but my way of dealing with it was to tell her that I would always care about her. That I would always be her friend and be there for her. Somehow that is even more amazing than real romance- it's an everlasting promise that you will always be special to one another.

Hope that made sense. Just my take on it.

As far as happiness goes... I'm a pretty strong believer in finding a way to be happy on your own, and once you master that... you don't have to be jerked around so strongly by relationships. But it's still really hard.

Still, if you could only be perfectly happy for no reason...

-applecyder

Only-virgins · #9 (**permalink**) 15-03-05, 03:32 PM

I did not read the post but to the title of the thread..the answer is....YES.

blackiesharley · #10 (**permalink**) 15-03-05, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prodigal

Is being happy with someone enough? Can someone live the rest of their life (or for a very long time) with someone who makes them happy... but they don't feel they love? And is this possible knowing that the one you feel is right is out there, and that you know her?

Are my dreams too outlandish? Is being happy all I can hope for, happiness without true love?

I would say yes. In fact true love can be a double edged sword. It can bring you joy or it can bring you great pain. If you're just happy and content with someone, well, at least you're happy and content.

Like someone here posted, the grass is always greener. (I always say it's greener over the septic tank LOL) and you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

Chlorine · #11 (**permalink**) 15-03-05, 10:47 PM

Prodigal----Is this an issue about 'settling'? As in settling for second best?

I guess if you went about your love life in an informed logical fasion, you'de pursue the 'happy girl'. There may not be that spark, but if you guys get along, it could lead to a really nice calm, comfortable relationship.

If you're a die-hard romantic, you'de hold out for the love of your life, who is moving to the eastcoast. You feel the sparks, the passion is there, if you guys ever get together, it'll be volatile. You'de hold out, till she finds someone else on the eastcoast. Than you'de be crushed.

It sounds harsh, but ain't life so.

.:Eek:. · #12 (**permalink**) 16-03-05, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

reminds me of that movie clerks.

gr8 film.

anyhoo, realisitically, can u be with the far away girl?

maybe by settling with the girl next door a spark will appear?

how DO they make cheese?

Why doesnt my mother make better cakes?

Where is superman?

all interestering questions i think.

.:Eek:. · #13 (**permalink**) 16-03-05, 04:57 AM

and no. if a dream comes true it is not still a dream...

Or is it?