Left out

[nebulachich]

Hi guys:

What should I think? I started seeing someone who enjoyed going to see live music a lot which I was psyched about because I'm a musician/singer and my previous boyfriend wanted nothing to do with it. Anway he would invite me to see shows with him except for one particular band. He knew I enjoyed their music becuase he sent me the link to their website and I checked it out and told him I really liked the music (original). After a few months of dating and he is going to their shows without me but meets a lot of friends there and would tell me all about the show and after parties I asked "so when am I going to get to see the band?" He responded "you can see them any time you like". I said "You're not going to invite me?" Then he said he doesn't feel it's a good environment to bring a date since he is usually running around a lot doing things for the band (recording & technical stuff and merch table) and he socializes a lot.

I felt really hurt and wondered if he was embarrassed by me or was interested in someone in the group...

[Fawn]

Hmmm.... Confusing situation. He may be working, but its not fair to exclude you from coming.

In my opinion I would just push it and go with him, or just show up out of the blue. Although, I'm a bit stubborn, so I'm not sure what you would feel comfortable doing.

It seems as if he's hiding something though. I'd be careful.

[uptownboy]

Nah, he's not embarassed at all. If he's doing work for them, he's busy and doesn't want to worry about you at that particular moment in time.

His mind is focused on making sure that he does his part to make the show run smooth. It's show-biz baby! Love has to be on hold, I used to entertain too,(magician) and you don't want to think about that kind of stuff, it's his other dedication you could say.

Would you expect him to hold your hand and give you kisses when he's supposed to be wrapping cords or hanging lights?

[xplodinjohnno]

Well, It is a confusing situation. I'd have to agree with Fawn. Its totally unfair for him to excluse you from coming especialy when he is your bf. If i were you i'd go along and see what he does, Like out of the blue, I'm not suggesting that he is cheating on you. Also you need to let him know how you feel about him not inviting you to these gigz.

Uptownboy, Its totally unfair that work would come infront of love, I think this is a greed of money. But when he is busy u'd have to understand to give him the space and not bother him. But bringing a gf or a bf along to where you work is great even better if she/he has intrest in your area of work. BUT she/he must know where the Affectionate line is. If you know wat i mean.

[nebulachich]

He invited other friends the whole time we were dating.. some supposedly female friends. The first time I went was a Fri night. I crashed at his place after. The next night they were playing again and I kind of thought he would invite me since I was there and everything. He actually said around 4:00 "Well I have to bid you farewell.. I have to go pick up a friend at the airport". He didn't say who it was. I found out it was a female friend (the same one I broke up with him over re: an email) and he went with her that night instead.

When I asked him why the "honor" for the invite in spite of his no-date policy he told me "A friend of mine asked if I was going to bring you and I got a fortune cookie that said 'make more time for romance'" :roll eyes:

I dind't even know his friends knew anything about me.