help please - Love Forum

x_my_heart · #1 (**permalink**) 21-03-05, 02:13 PM

ok so i recenly broke up with my boyfriend

so i started talking to this guy online, he was a friend of a friend and somehow we just started talking
we talked a lot and he called me and finally we decided to hang out....when we did hang out it kinda went wrong...im a very insecure person so i felt like he didnt like me...and instead of seeing a movie we ended up walking around the mall which we both hated...i felt so uncomfortable....so we didnt really talk a lot but we kept glancing at me and smiling every so often

when i went to say good bye he hugged me for about a minute than he just stopped and looked in my eyes...i got scared and just kissed him on the cheek and than i had to leave

after that we talked online but it wasnt the same....we only made small talk except for him telling me he thought i was cute...but i feel like he's just saying that....since that night we havent talked much at all....when we do i feel like he doesnt want to be talkng to me...i dont know what to do...he said he was having a bad week and im hoping thats it....can someone help me?

Only-virgins · #2 (**permalink**) 21-03-05, 02:18 PM

I don't know..Im stumped..Maybe he is just not attracted to you?

xplodinjohnno · #3 (**permalink**) 21-03-05, 02:28 PM

Humm, I wouldnt know wat to say to that either. I know how you feel in situations like this. Believe me its happened to me before. But unlike girls you cant balme it on their "monthly's". But remember guys are humans as well. We do have feelings, So dont think that he doesnt like you. Maybe its true that he is having a bad week, I'd say give him another week to see how things go. Do you have like deep feelings for this guy? If you do, ask him how he feels about u. and tell him when things are intense, because you are more likey to get the honest answer when he is put on the spot. Tell us how u go with it

Good luck

Ratfish256 · #4 (**permalink**) 21-03-05, 02:42 PM

Sounds to me he was just as nervous as you. He is probably thinking that you wern't into him very much. Maybe find something you both enjoy and do that.

x_my_heart · #5 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 04:27 AM

thanks<3
i told him i was attracted to him...the day after we met we talked and he told me he thought i was attractive but i dunno if he was being nice or if he ment it....after that night he just stopped talking to me...he said he was sick...than he barely talked to me and when he did he would just make small talk

i was also having a very bad week and when he asked me what was wrong i shut him out...maybe thats why he's acting weird? i really do like this guy...and the day after we met i told him we should hang out again and he said he would love to

i dont know how to feel he's sending me mixed signals

unidentified · #6 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 04:36 AM

im a guy, but what i would do, is just hang out w/ him, until you get to know him truly i mean...because whenever i am attracted to someone, and didnt know them long, i force myself to not become passionate w/ them, because well, whenever i do end of getting together w/ them, and i dont know them well, i end up finding out who they really are... not that thats a bad thing...i just dont seem to have much feeling for them anymore... i would just hang out w/ him until i really find out how i felt and how they felt about me....

LightOn · #7 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 08:45 AM

The root of the problem is You feeling insecure. Are you sure he is sending mixed signals? Or is Your insecurities causing you to be unable to pick his signals up?

diablo robotico · #8 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 09:52 AM

Have you straight out asked him? I think if you put things in a plain light, it would make it a lot clearer to you as to what's going on. Just tell him that you like him a lot and you want to know what he thinks of you. No baloney. Just straight talk. Guys actually appreciate that.

x_my_heart · #9 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 10:10 AM

i want to do that but everytime we talk i feel like he doesnt want to talk to me....i wish he would just tell me....i mean the day we hung out i felt like he wanted to be with me i was pretty confident that things would work out...than the day after he told me he was thinking about me and he wanted to hang out again..that was all he said though..now the furthest we get in a convo is how are you...i feel like he feels obligated to talk to me because he knows i like him and he doesnt want to hurt me, because he told me he hates hurting people.

Mermaid · #10 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by x_my_heart

i want to do that but everytime we talk i feel like he doesnt want to talk to me....i wish he would just tell me....i mean the day we hung out i felt like he wanted to be with me i was pretty confident that things would work out...than the day after he told me he was thinking about me and he wanted to hang out again..that was all he said though..now the furthest we get in a convo is how are you...i feel like he feels obligated to talk to me because he knows i like him and he doesnt want to hurt me, because he told me he hates hurting people.

Well here in my opinion you have two choices or you make him to listen to what you have to say -cause thats the least thing he has to do for you- and you tell him you like him so much and you want to do if he feels the same for you, because you really need to move on if he doesnt.. or if you dont dare, then call him and invite him out, but an especific day and hour not the "lets hang out sometime" phrase that almost never becomes true, if he denies here it depends on what he says youll get the idea if he really likes you or he is just having a bad time -If he says, "not tomorrow but the day after tomorrow yes" he is looking a time and day you both can see each other- If he says yes to the day and hour you set..perhaps he was just waiting for you to make the next move..he can be kind of shy heh and perhaps thinks that being him the only one that has the iniciatives can get you tired...
if he says no for any reason but he doesnt set up a new time..then he is not very interested in you, better move on if he doesnt.

Havent you for an instance thought that perhaps he is as insecure as you are?

good luck!
talk things out dont let more time pass by its better to have a broken heart and move on than to stay there forever wondering..what if..what happened there?

x_my_heart · #11 (**permalink**) 22-03-05, 12:36 PM

thank you so much<3
im gonna take ur advice...he is very insecure he told me before we met....i told him i was too....i want to invite him out this week but im afraid of what he's gonna say..i dont even kno how to bring it up...he never acts like he wants to talk to me...before we met he did..i feel like he hates me now and it hurts =(

diablo robotico · #12 (**permalink**) 23-03-05, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by x_my_heart

thank you so much<3
im gonna take ur advice...he is very insecure he told me before we met....i told him i was too....i want to invite him out this week but im afraid of what he's gonna say..i dont even kno how to bring it up...he never acts like he wants to talk to me...before we met he did..i feel like he hates me now and it hurts =(

This is why you NEED to say your mind. Just dive in. Either way in the end you'll know how he stands. It's very doubtful that he hates you. Like Mermaid suggested and you have confirmed, he's insecure. Probably he felt confident behind the anonimity that computers and the internet can give you. But once he met you in person, that changed everything.

But even if he's lukewarm towards you now and is not attracted to you, you still need to find out, for your own peace of mind. So the best tactic is to talk to him as straight and plain as you can, with no beating around the bush.