Need Some Advice ASAP - Love Forum

angelbaby011604 · #1 (**permalink**) 25-03-05, 11:46 PM

i've been dating this guy 6 years older than me for about a year and a half now... he's already been married and has 2 beautiful children which i love just as much as i love him...
when we first started dating everything was PERFECT as it is in every relationship, but like ten times better. he used to make me feel as if i were his queen. he was still living with his, (at this point) "soon to be ex wife". but i trusted that he loved me and wasn't to concered with it. i understand it is hard to find a place, and besides we was with me ALL THE TIME, honsetly.
he and i have this perfect relationship. we've seen the signs of fate more the once.
now my sister (which i live with) hates the matter of he and i being together because she believes i will be getting hurt in the end when he returns to his wife. She tried absalutly everything to get me away from him... down to kicking me out. finally she accepted the fact that i was not going to give up. he moved out not to much longer after that. his best friends and he lived about 4 or 5 minuets from me. i felt more comfortable, and more important at this point. i started sleeping at his house every weekend. as normal couples do we started fighting alot about stupid things. MAINLY HIS EX. one night i said something about him buying her cigarettes, he decided to ignore my phone calls so i continued to call him over and over until he picked up. he picked up yelled at me and broke up with me. we we're broken up for about a month. while we we're broken up, it was still i love you, i miss you, i need you and of coarse we still had sex.
we got back together and everything was fine, then he just started spending more time over his ex's house. the last month we we're dating he slept there once every weekend.
i couldn't handle it, i'm jeliouse as it is. so i nit picked at it, and we fought because the more time he spent there, the more of an @%*hole he became...
finally one night i just was so angry with him because he slept there the night before i kept nit picking and i wouldn't stop, so the broke up with me again.
agian though with i love you's, i miss you's, i need you's and many more signs of fate. we still spent alot time together at first, then he started sleeping at his ex's more and more, he took off work (he works nights) to spend time with her, and the day after they went to dinner at his house and he went home with her and never went to his house...
but still telling me "i don't feel for her the way i do for you"...
almost a month ago he moved back in with her, his roommate kicked him out. he had nowhere to go. i've seen him a total of 3 times, while he was supposed to be at work.
i don't know what to do. because i know he loves me. but i just dunno. i tried getting him to move in with me and my sister but he said no because he is uncomfortable aournd her.
PLEASE HELP...

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 25-03-05, 11:55 PM

this is why getting involved with married men is bad. first of all, he's married hello? i've never seen a man leave his wife and kids for the woman on the side. he spent weekend nights at her house (their house), and he moved back in with her. does this mean anything to you? why did his friend kick him out anyway. he sounds sleezy. of course he'd break up with you for putting a little fuel in the fire, he doesn't want you for that, he wants you so he can get away from the drama, but you give him more. i don't care how many "i love you's" and "i miss you's" he gives you, saying those things isn't enough to hold a relationship together. he wants you for sex. i'm stunned that you aren't able to see this.

has he filed for a divorce?

angelbaby011604 · #3 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 12:03 AM

his friend kicking him out:
it was his sons b-day party and he invited his friend (the roommate), the roomates girl and her daughter, he also invited his other friend and his daughter. the roommate said if the other friend was there he was going to fight him. my guy said no and they got into a HUGE fight over it because his roommate wanted to fight at his son's birthday party.
and he did not file yet. it is expensive, so yet again i understand.

misombra · #4 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 12:22 AM

you are far too understanding...

Dymondgirl · #5 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 02:09 AM

you are not going to get anywhere with this guy believe me. He still loves his wife very much and you have taken over the roll as a seragent. Someone he can communicate and have fun with. Sounds like he does have strong feelings for you but as I've said before actions speak louder than words. Why couldn't he find somewhere else to live instead of moving back in with his wife? Getting involved with a married person is rough I know I'm the married person right now. I still love my husband very much but I don't live or have sex with him anymore. My boyfriend hides he's feelings about the situation but I know it bothers him when I talk to my husband, and the only reason i do it is for money. The other thing is he has kids, this is going to connect him to his wife forever so whatever you decide remember they will always share this in common, and you can not let your feelings about it control your actions. It's so easy to say I love and need you, but to really show it is something much different. I wouldn't waste anymore of your time holding on to this unless he moves out of his house and files for divorce, yes it is expensive only if you go to court. The other thing is does she know about you. I told my husband I have a boyfriend. That was something that made my boyfriend feel a hell of alot better.

angelbaby011604 · #6 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 02:32 AM

she does know about me... a few months back she told him to choose between her and i, and he said me, she went crazy and told him "if you can't be my husband, you can't be there father" he delt with it though. he has done alot for me... he has shown he cares and does love me... she's know about me almost our whole relationship.

LightOn · #7 (**permalink**) 26-03-05, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelbaby011604

i know he loves me.

NO, you don't. Stop bullshitting yourself!

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

you are far too understanding.

More like gullible.

angelbaby011604,
Some people will do everything in their power to have a little strange able and willing. Please, dump this dude, it gives men a bad rep when women keep going back to the same POS.

angelbaby011604 · #8 (**permalink**) 27-03-05, 02:29 AM

lighton,
i am very gulable, it seems i tend to be alot of things i never was before when it comes to him... i've always been miss independent, i let anyone bring put me in a bad mood... now it's so depressing how much i've grew acustom to these feelings...
Love Trully Is Blind....

blue · #9 (**permalink**) 27-03-05, 02:44 AM

Usually all good or bad things must come to an end and this will, eventually u can either fight or you can take care of you take some time and get over this and move on or it can be utter hell and drama and it will still be over and it will all still be over. Its your choice, if i were you i would take a little bit of the pain and loliness chew on it for a few days than be arguing, having sex then knowing this guy will be with his wife and if he states he's not sleeping with her bullshit. Unless you like this kinda treatment just move forward and let him deal with his family issues.