Falling for a foreign girl... help!

[drk_dragoon]

Hello,

I know everyone here has probably heard this story a thousand times, but I think I would feel better If I had the opinions of people who are more experienced in this catagory.

First off, my name is Matt and Im your typical 21 yr old college guy. I like to go to parties, hang out, drink, have fun, and all the usual stuff that goes along with it. However, I do feel there is a major separation between me and the majority of college guys in America. I enjoy the "mushy" stuff that most girls do and most guys deny- watching movies, cuddling, kissing, spoiling, and all the other stuff that goes along with that.

Anyway, Im going off topic a bit but now you know a little more about myself.

With that said, ive reached a very interesting point of my life, to say the least.

About 2 months ago I met this girl at a club here in Michigan. We danced a little, then sat down at a table and got to know each other. Turns out she is from Germany in this program called "aupairs" (forgive me If I misspell it). So, after some small talk, we left the club, talked a little more, got her number, and said goodbye (she lives about 20 minutes from the club we were at).

Over the last few months, we have been hanging out alot. We go to the clubs, dance with each other, talk about many things, go to dinner, go to movies, etc.

Now I will admit, that at first I was out for a one night stand, but I guess I got more than I bargained for. I know only a few months is considered a short time frame, but I think im falling in love with this girl and I dont know what to do. Ive dated alot of people in my life, and nobody has even come close to her. She is everything I have ever wanted in a girl - smart, funny, good looking, kind, and most importantly fun to be around.

Just the other night we went out to the clubs and made out like crazy. After that, my mind has been in a whirlwind. Even before then I was having strong feelings for her, but this sent it over the top! I remember what this feeling feels like... Cant stop thinking about her, want to talk to her all the time, feeling lonely when shes not there.

So, theres where I stand. Im falling for a girl that lives in Germany. The main problem is that I really think she likes me just as much as I like her. And thats the problem. I cant have these feelings for someone if I cant have her in the end. I keep telling myself that its possible, because she says that she may stay here in America... but its hard not thinking about it. I keep convincing myself that this fairy tale of being with this girl and having a relationship will come true...

What do I do??? I feel so strongly for this new person in my life. Part of me wants to just say away from her so I dont get attached any further(which i dont even know how that would be possible). But, I just cant bring myself to doing that to her- or me. If you have any advice, guys and girls, it would mean so much if you could just post a comment or two as to what I should do. I have never been in this situation before...

-Matt

[bluesummer]

When I met my bf he had come here to Canada from India to study. We both thought he wouldn't be here long, and we fought our feelings so we could 'save ourselves from getting hurt', but we fell in love anyways. Basically I told him him '**** it, let's just go with it....if it was meant to be it will work out.' He applied to stay in Canada, and guess what? It DID work out.

We've been together over 2 and a half years and are planning to get married.

So just go for it. Whats meant to be, will be. Good luck!

[drk_dragoon]

Wow thats amazing. Congrats!

I guess your right... whatever happens happens for a reason. I am just not sure how to find out if she feels the same way. I have always been shy when it comes to asking about mushy stuff like this...

Do you have any suggestions as to how I should go about asking her about our situation?

Thanks so much for your reply, makes me feel alot better and that im not crazy...

Its just so hard because you can never tell what the other person is feeling. You always think that you are obsessing more than they are about you. I cant stop thinking about her, and its driving me nuts that I cant tell if shes doing the same.

I wish I knew how to read your minds, ladies! Either that or get advice as to how I can tell if shes feeling the same

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

When I met my bf he had come here to Canada from India to study. We both thought he wouldn't be here long, and we fought our feelings so we could 'save ourselves from getting hurt', but we fell in love anyways. Basically I told him him '**** it, let's just go with it....if it was meant to be it will work out.' He applied to stay in Canada, and guess what? It DID work out.

We've been together over 2 and a half years and are planning to get married.

So just go for it. Whats meant to be, will be. Good luck!

[Profi]

Where in Germany is she from?

[drk_dragoon]

I dunno, never asked her. Why does that matter?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profi

Where in Germany is she from?

[doll69]

Quote:

Originally Posted by drk_dragoon

whatever happens happens for a reason.

HAHA, I sit here and nothing good EVER happens. I can honestly say I have all the traits in the girl you were talking about...whatever happens happens for a reason...but is there a reason for what DOESN'T happen??? Except maybe, God hates me. That must be it. Why must I be born at all if I was destined to live (and die) alone in misery.

OK that was a little OT (actually not really, it's to remind you that there are ppl worse off than you), but seems like your situation has potential of working out- Good Luck!

[blackiesharley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

When I met my bf he had come here to Canada from India to study. We both thought he wouldn't be here long, and we fought our feelings so we could 'save ourselves from getting hurt', but we fell in love anyways. Basically I told him him '**** it, let's just go with it....if it was meant to be it will work out.' He applied to stay in Canada, and guess what? It DID work out.

We've been together over 2 and a half years and are planning to get married.

So just go for it. Whats meant to be, will be. Good luck!

I agree with Bluesummer, just go for it. Things have a way of working out. Also, if she has said she's considering staying in the States, maybe, JUST maybe that was a clue or a hint that she would want sonmething long term.

Good luck

[drk_dragoon]

Oh no...

Yesterday night I met up with her at one of the clubs and she told me that she needed to talk...

Well after about 5 minutes she told me she had a boyfriend in germany. She explained that she really liked me alot, and she didnt know where her relationship was going with him.

Both of us really didnt know what to say... So I explained that I liked her alot, and I just wanted her to know that I wished she didnt have to leave in a few months. She also explained that she wished she didnt have to leave either, and said that she wanted to think about things within the next week (shes going on a trip to Florida).

I guess things look grim from here on out... Its so sad because she said she felt alot for me but I have no idea whats going through her head...

All I know is once again im sitting here, a day before exams, thinking about this girl over and over and over again...

[Kiechi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by doll69

HAHA, I sit here and nothing good EVER happens. I can honestly say I have all the traits in the girl you were talking about...whatever happens happens for a reason...but is there a reason for what DOESN'T happen??? Except maybe, God hates me. That must be it. Why must I be born at all if I was destined to live (and die) alone in misery.

OK that was a little OT (actually not really, it's to remind you that there are ppl worse off than you), but seems like your situation has potential of working out- Good Luck!

"Let's get married"

[Profi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by drk_dragoon

I dunno, never asked her. Why does that matter?

I was just curious, you should probably ask her though.