The Saga Continues...(The New Dilemma)

[yoshikuni]

Ok, I've been on this site for awhile, so I'm going to stick my neck out here now that I think I've found the right words...(may be long story, I have months to catch up on)

Me and this girl met about 7 months ago. We talked for a while, and upon seperating that night I got an invitation to her Church. (I live in the South, so its no surprise) I accepted, and started attending Church with her. Now I'm not much of a Church junkie, but over the months I have accepted and found my place within the new family, with a few doubts here and there. I was never one to be accepted by a large group, so it was all new to me.

Anyway, after a few months of getting to know each other, I finally got the courage to ask her out. To me, I was looking forward to a date, but in the end she insisted it was to be a 'friendly' outing. Considering her religous background, I was satisfied with this on the intent of becoming friends first. I'm an laid-back guy, so I don't believe anything has to be rushed.

Soon after we were flirting with each other, and I thought that the interest was growing. Later I got a call from her asking if I wanted to do something sometime. Of course my heart lept, but was once again brought back down when it was another confirmed friendly outing. It was really frustrating me by now, but once again I shrugged it off.

Later, I started to come down from my own Cloud 9, and my infatuation had come to a crawl. I wasn't swooning over her anymore, and I thought maybe it was over, but then another twist came into the saga when I left a week's worth of a bruise on my best friends shoulders after I told him to quit saying how hot she is and how he would like her 'in the sack', making a slight scene. So naturally, after this happened, I was really confused with my own feelings.

So once again I asked her out, and she once again made it clear it was to be another friendly outing...By this time I didn't care. Friends or not, it was good to spend time together since we often have very educated and exciting discussions when we meet outside of the Church...

So here's the latest. I think she is trying flirting again, but I'm making no advancement or flirting back, even though I know I still kinda deeply care for her. I'm starting to feel numb to what's going on, and am starting to care less if the relationship is blooming or not. I still care about her life, and how she feels, but the chase just isn't exciting anymore... I just want to know.

#1. What's wrong with me?
#2. What's wrong with her?

[Chlorine]

Yoshikuni----I remembered you mentioning something similar back in The Athiest/Christian post. So am assuming here, that you've haven't become a Christian, in a public sense of the word.

Given her deeply religious background, she probably sets pretty high standards for herself in keeping with church teachings. Teachings differ from denomination to demonation but they pretty much agree on a Christian marrying another Christian. We're not talking about marriage here. It's just that maybe she might be trying to follow these teachings/rules, hence she sets boundaries like "Friends only". I'm hazarding a guess here that this is the reason why she is holding back. Also, the church can put immense pressure on their members. Christians can be amongst the most critical and judgemental of people.
So that's my answer to #2

As for #1, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You must like her enough to defend her :-) However interest wanes if you don't get a positive response. You're you. Don't become a Christian just to win her over.