About to go berserk

[inconnu]

I've been confused and mixed up. sad. depressed...and now my anger is starting to slowly build up.

Here's my story: Friend becomes very very close. I found out it's not going that great with her long long long time boyfriend (which used to be a friend too). I realize she has feelings for me. I'm tempted. tells me she does't love boyfriend anymore, I finally act on it..we try to stop..can't .. she falls in love for me..i fall in love with her.... lasts 2-3 months.. boyfriend finds out. he goes nuts but she begs forgiveness she ditches me... We decide to stop communicating. Painful but we end it on a friendship level.

..then at the end of the summer she slowly starts calling me here and there. ..then she shows up at my place. ..then again..tells me she can't be without me..wants to leave boyfriend but it takes time and it's complicated cause of the car and appartment etc... the dumbass that i am..i fall again for her. During the months we start hanging out with a group of mutual friends (they know about us) .... but she doesn't leave him....and then lately she start telling me that maybe we should stop seeing each other cause now she knows she has some kind of feelings for her boyfriend. I was pissed. I wanted her to at least take a break from me AND him if she wants to make a decision...then the following weeks she was again super affectionate...seems everytime she does something that hurts or pisses me off, she'll back off and be super affectionate...also seems every single godamn time something happens that might change her stable situation, she becomes super distant, strange and a bordeline *****.

...and here i am. I'm on the verge of exploding..and i'm one of the most easy going relaxed guy you could know. I'm not even sure what to ask here. I just feel i might go berserk and do something really stupid like tell her boyfriend and say f*ck the rest. I really feel like i can't take it anymore but can't accept she wouldn't act on anything she told me.

..ho yeah and i still love her. I wouldn't be here if i didn't. It's been over a year of the highest highs and the lowest lows but i still love her damn it.

Comments? Help? Flame? Question? All would be very appreciated.

[bohemiandonut]

Ouch, dude, I feel for you.

I hate to say it, but she seems rather unstable. In the same way that a unicycle balancing on a tightrope over the San Andreas fault is unstable. Ya dig?

I would really ask yourself if it would be worth it to fight for her. This is still the same chick who hurt you before, she hasn't changed, she's just bored again.

I would back off. Just take some time for yourself. Force her to handle this herself. Don't allow yourself to be jerked around any longer, you don't deserve it.

Be strong brother.

Peace.