need to tell him my feelings - Love Forum

Emotion87 · #1 (**permalink**) 04-04-05, 09:05 PM

Hi,
I have met this bloke at work, he is older than me, and married. I know this is a dodgy situation but i have been trying to decide what to do for weeks. I have really strong "friendship" feelings for him and i can see he acts totally different towards me. I want to let him know that i really value our company and the existing "work" relationship that we have together. I really enjoy work, but going there and seeing him makes me so happy, i bubble inside with joy and feelings i have never felt before. I just want to let him know that our friendship is strong now, before i blurt something totally stupid out and could wreck his marriage and life forever. I wouldn't want to be the cause of a wrecked marriage i just want him to know were "very good" mates!! So the big question is : HOW DO I TELL HIM???? WHAT DO I SAY, WHERE DO I SAY IT???

Please help.

mhussain · #2 (**permalink**) 05-04-05, 08:32 PM

dont say anything...........anything u say can cause a problem in his marriage.......

it is not worth it emotion87, it aint worth it...and if u two are good mates then there is no need to say it............it wil be evident

the rest is upto u

Hussain

Emotion87 · #3 (**permalink**) 07-04-05, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mhussain

dont say anything...........anything u say can cause a problem in his marriage.......

Thanks hussain but i really need to let some emotions out as they are filling up inside me and making it worse. If you suggest that i dont tell him what can i do to convince myself were just good mates?

Emotion 87.

Frasbee · #4 (**permalink**) 07-04-05, 04:55 PM

Yeah dude, I don't see a "good" way of tellin' him you're "really good" mates.

That's makin' it all too painfully obvious that you're interested in him.

Chlorine · #5 (**permalink**) 07-04-05, 08:52 PM

Emotion87----Even if you did let him know that you are 'mates', nothing could come out of it. Avoid this situation. You're letting your emotions get the better of you.

mhussain · #6 (**permalink**) 07-04-05, 09:02 PM

if u really want to talk....talk with someone u trust and let ur feelings out...keeping them inside will only hurt u more... but if u say it to him...he too is bound to suffer.

but most of all u will suffer....if u really are good mates then leave it like that....but Frasbee is right...saying that to him is making it plain that u r interested in him.

i hope this works out for u .. irally do
best of luck

Hussain

blue · #7 (**permalink**) 07-04-05, 09:07 PM

This Thing At Work Happens All The Time To The Best Of Us. Crushes Like This Are Difficult, But You Just Have To Take It For What It Is. He Cannot Help You Work Through Your Feelings. If You Do Approach Him You Will Have Opened A Can Of Worms And Thats Not Good, This Can Be Like A Domino Effect. Dont Say Anything, But Tell Yourself That Their Is No Point Relaize It For What It Really Is And Move On. Shouldnt Act Out On Every Emotion.

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blue

This Thing At Work Happens All The Time To The Best Of Us. Crushes Like This Are Difficult, But You Just Have To Take It For What It Is. He Cannot Help You Work Through Your Feelings. If You Do Approach Him You Will Have Opened A Can Of Worms And Thats Not Good, This Can Be Like A Domino Effect. Dont Say Anything, But Tell Yourself That Their Is No Point Relaize It For What It Really Is And Move On. Shouldnt Act Out On Every Emotion.

Any reason you capitalized everything?

Or are you just enjoying yourself.

blue · #9 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 01:34 AM

im enjoying myself babe just enjoying myself is all

bluesummer · #10 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 02:05 AM

Don't deny that you obviously have more than friendly feelings for this guy. No matter how much you protest, it's pretty obvious.

Don't be so selfish.....he has a wife. Whatever feelings you have for him, keep them to yourself, it will do no one any good to put them out in the open. Go get your feelings out in a diary or with a close friend. I know you say you don't want to ruin his marriage, but you have to ask yourself, be real: What is it you're REALLY hoping to gain from imparting this knowledge to him?

My guess is, its not 'friendship'.

Emotion87 · #11 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

My guess is, its not 'friendship'.

Bluesummer your right is seems that it is more than just a frioendship now. I had accepted the fact of his marriage but it now seems his marriage is not maybe as strong as i had believed it to be. Do you think this would make a difference?

Emotion 87.

blue · #12 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 05:22 AM

No It Dosent Make A Difference If The Relationship Ends In Divorce Then U May Pursue It.

bluesummer · #13 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 03:05 PM

Also, it is not up to you to decide the stability of his marriage and whether or not it gives you the right to pursue him.

Some girl went full force after my bf because she met me ONCE and 'she decided' that our relationship wasn't strong and that she'd be better for him than me. Needless to say she was very wrong and ended up hurting HERSELF over it.

Go find yourself a nice, unattached guy. As long as he's got a ring on his finger he is UNAVAILABLE.

Emotion87 · #14 (**permalink**) 08-04-05, 05:50 PM

Thanks for all your replys. He tells me himself the stability of his marriage i do not guess. However i still see where your coming from. Thanks everyone, you have all helped to sort of sort my head out however not totally. I guess the rest can only be down to me.
Thanks.
Emotion 87.