Alright, My Situation - Love Forum

3mK · #1 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 11:34 AM

I searched out this forum for a reason... and that reason was so that I could post my story and hopefully get some feedback (and help!)

I haven't told anyone in real life any of the events I'm about to share because it is something I'm not comfortable with. Sharing this story to you guys will be something new to me and I hope everything works out in the way I am hoping it will. Let's begin!

It was back in December when the store I was working in hired staff for the holiday season. I didn't really care much for new people, as at the time I wasen't too much of a people person. I had only really opened up to one other employee at that time and I was damned if I was going to do it again.

Unfortunatly for me I became quite the character and my personality finally had a chance to shine through the shell I was hidden in for so long. Then I met the newest member of our team and I was blown away.

She was great, and I knew I had to put as much effort as I could to get to know her and for the next month I did just that. We had great times at the store and then she even mentioned that we should hang out sometime. I jumped on that suggestion right away and said we definatly should. Sadly, she was fired (she was only there for December) but I still had contact with her through online.

She was gone but I quickly got a day set up where'd I'd meet her at her school once it ended and we'd go to my house to hang out and play games. it should be noted that at the time I was 20 and she was 16. So where I was working full time, she was still a student.

We had our night of gaming and it was honestly one of the best nights in my life. I knew I wanted to have a better relationship with this girl, but on this night I didn't make any moves because I just wanted to really set up that friendship and everything seemed to work. I took her home and I couldn't believe the day I just had.

Things took a turn for the worse here. For some reason she would not talk to me online, and when I messaged her her responses were quick and I could definatly tell no effort was used to respond to me. I knew there were problems so I quickly questioned her and found out that someone at work had told her things that I had said. To this day I don't know what she was told, but she believed it (which hurt me beyond anything) and she seemed like she didn't want anything to do with me.

So I decided to try to forget about her... but that didn't work. Every damn day she was on my mind and there was nothing I could do to get her out. I didn't really talk to her much online because I knew it was a waste of time.

However, about a month ago she started to contact me again through the online messenger and we got chatty again. Our chats picked up and to me, things seemed to get better. I never questioned why she started talking to me again, I was just so damn happy she was back and I had great times talking to her again.

Then about three weeks ago she came into my place of work and we talked for a few minutes, but that didn't make much of an impact because she was with friends and I couldn't say much (I was also busy). When I saw her it brought back all these memories and I had her fresh on my mind again.

We talk often now online and a week ago I found out it was her birthday coming up. I consider her to be a great friend, so I just had to get her something. That's exactly what I did and I asked her to meet me at Arby's during her lunch break from school. I gave her her gift and I thought that was the end of that night.

A few hours later while I was still at work she called me and invited me to come to the movies with her and her friends for her birthday and I couldn't say no. So I went to that and sat beside her and even that felt amazing even though we didn't speak much (the movie was playing!).

So things are looking pretty good... but there are not like they were back when we worked together. I hope you guys read this and now here's where I need a little help. I just want to know how you guys think about how I dealt with this situation and do you think I made any mistakes? What could I have done to make things better? Or make them better now?

I still can't get her off my mind and every day that passes I feel like I'm closer to telling her how I really feel. But that is such a gamble, it'll be impossible for me to even predict how that will turn out! I want to tell her but I just can't think of a way to say it to her. Help me out with that too, please!

Any help will be greatly appreciated and I will of course update everyone on the situation. Thanks guys.

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 11:37 AM

she's sixteen. what do you want from her? she wants to meet a bunch of guys and not be tied down to one person. talk to her in ten years.

Frasbee · #3 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

she's sixteen. what do you want from her? she wants to meet a bunch of guys and not be tied down to one person. talk to her in ten years.

I agree with this post.

Only-virgins · #4 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

she wants to meet a bunch of guys and not be tied down to one person. talk to her in ten years.

That sounds really slutty.

Only-virgins · #5 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:31 PM

You are already talking to her so I fail to see the problem. Just tell her.

Frasbee · #6 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

That sounds really slutty.

In reference to you, that goes without bein' said.

Only-virgins · #7 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

In reference to you, that goes without bein' said.

Whats that supposed to mean? It sounds like mismobra just said that he should let her fawk around first before starting anything....he might as well just forget the bag then.

Frasbee · #8 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Whats that supposed to mean? It sounds like mismobra just said that he should let her fawk around first before starting anything....he might as well just forget the bag then.

It's supposed to mean we already know your disposition on almost any situation that involves a girl not "saving herself" for one guy.

Anyway yeah, he might as well forget about it. The relationship they already have is obviously very unstable, I don't see any future in this at all cause she will most likely not want to be tied down at that age.

Only-virgins · #9 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

It's supposed to mean we already know your disposition on almost any situation that involves a girl not "saving herself" for one guy.

Leave me alone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Anyway yeah, he might as well forget about it. The relationship they already have is obviously very unstable, I don't see any future in this at all cause she will most likely not want to be tied down at that age.

No, He sounds like he really likes her. Whats the difference? he should just tell her....maybe she will understand....give some credit to a 16 year old..some of them ..if they are in a loving relationship will stick around.

Frasbee · #10 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

he should just tell her....maybe she will understand....give some credit to a 16 year old..some of them ..if they are in a loving relationship will stick around.

I can't disagree with that, I wouldn't think it'd hurt to tell her at this point. What I'm also wondering though is if her parents know about this...and if they do, do they approve? That can really affect one's relationships with others.

If he does go professing his liking to her, I dun think he should get his hopes up, teenagers are afterall, wack jobs.

Only-virgins · #11 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

I can't disagree with that, I wouldn't think it'd hurt to tell her at this point. What I'm also wondering though is if her parents know about this...and if they do, do they approve? That can really affect one's relationships with others.

If he does go professing his liking to her, I dun think he should get his hopes up, teenagers are afterall, wack jobs.

I don't know...if you say so. Do you consider your 16 year old self a wack job? when you were 16 do you think you were a moronic wack job? I think I was actually in some cases pretty .....normal and caring. I would never have allowed my parents to tell me what to do with my relationships. She is young but he sounds like he is really into her. From what I have experienced is if you really love someone then alot of the times the feeling is mutual. The thing is that I can not know if he really likes her....he could be some 20 year old trying to get some with a 16 year old.

Frasbee · #12 (**permalink**) 10-04-05, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

I don't know...if you say so. Do you consider your 16 year old self a wack job? when you were 16 do you think you were a moronic wack job? I think I was actually in some cases pretty .....normal and caring. I would never have allowed my parents to tell me what to do with my relationships. She is young but he sounds like he is really into her. From what I have experienced is if you really love someone then alot of the times the feeling is mutual. The thing is that I can not know if he really likes her....he could be some 20 year old trying to get some with a 16 year old.

Course I wasn't a wack job.

All the other teenagers were the wack jobs.

Not me.

The idea that I was different is probably what made me just like every wack jobbed teenager out there.

I'll deny that though. I still say I was better and smarter than the rest of them.

3mK · #13 (**permalink**) 11-04-05, 06:36 AM

Thanks for all your replies, and I honestly respect everyones opinion.
I am still unsure as to what to do, but you guys have helped out and I really appreciate it.
I need to do some serious thinking.

EDIT : My biggest concern is that I just don't want to miss out on anything that could. A few months prior I was in a situation with a woman who I really felt a connection with... but I never had a chance to get to know her outside of work (we lived a little further away from each other, and at that time I had no vehicle). She eventually moved on because of better employment and now I'm left with 'what could've happened?'. I still see her every now and then but she is back with an old boyfriend. So I missed out.

I don't want that to happen to me again because its just the feeling that hurts so much and I would hate to go through it again.

I know she is younger then I am (shes 17 now, not that that makes too much of a differance) but having these feelings for someone is something I can't control and there was nothing I can do. I guess I never mentioned that she did seem really interested in me because she gave off many signs but because I can't handle these situations well I never made my 'move' and now I think 'does she feel the same way about me, but doesn't know if I feel the same about her?'.

It's a situation that can only be resolved with the actions that I can't and unfortunatly there is no way to do a test so I'm walking in the dark here all the time.

Still, I thank you all for your opinions.

gunit17 · #14 (**permalink**) 11-04-05, 10:20 AM

best thing to do is talk to her about it.. like u said its a gamble.. but is a gamble you must take... just prey the cards will work out