Thinking about someone else.... - Love Forum

lozzybug · #1 (**permalink**) 14-04-05, 03:22 PM

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I have a wonderful boyf who i have been with for 5 years but I have just recently gotten a crush on someone else. I really love my boyfriend and I would never cheat or anything like that but I wondered if this is normal, especially in long relationships?

I feel extremely guilty (to the point where i feel sick) as he is just such a great guy but I can't help the way I feel. I'm only 21 and I have not really had a chance to experience being single. I know I would be crushed if it was the other way around. if anyone could give me any advice I would be very grateful!

Thank you!

Stillinlove · #2 (**permalink**) 14-04-05, 03:35 PM

Wow this is messed up, lol. Myself i am not polyamorous, i cant love more than one person, and i love her with all of my heart, to the point where i dont even pay attention to other girls, but i still think a few girls i know are pretty hot =) but a full blown crush? hmmm... if you really love your boyfriend, im going to suggest that you seperate yourself from the other dude. But keep your options open and do what makes you happy. =) Im sure its normal to like other guys, just dont act on it . Your lucky to have someone that you love.... and loves you back

mhussain · #3 (**permalink**) 14-04-05, 09:58 PM

stay away from the other dude....as far away as possible

cherish what u have...dont throw away ur love becoz of a stupid crush

Hussain

bluesummer · #4 (**permalink**) 15-04-05, 03:37 AM

It's very very normal. Even my aunt, who just celebrated her 10 year anniversary with her husband told me: "Even when you're married, there is going to be attraction to other people, on both sides. It's how the two you deal with those attractions that makes a successful relationship." It was actually one of the best things she ever told me.

I have been in two long term relationships with people I love very much and I have found myself having little 'crushes' on other people. But that's all they were, and I recognized that. If you love your bf more, you won't pursue anything.

lozzybug · #5 (**permalink**) 15-04-05, 08:29 AM

thanks for your help guys, you're definitely right. i just need to concentrate on my relationship and definitely not throw that away for a crush.

Only-virgins · #6 (**permalink**) 15-04-05, 08:46 AM

How can you tell which of these it is?:
You love your BF and that is just a crush
Your BF is just a crush and that is love
You never loved your bf, he was just the best thing till you love someone
You love your boyfriend but there is something about the new crush

I dont know the difference between love and a crush anymore.

I think it should be a simple answer for you though...just be with the one you want to be with more because if you are not then you are just forcing a lie on yourself. If you are going to stay with your boyfriend and think about your crush at the same time then forget that. You might not be happy. If your not happy then whats the point?