Fiancee's weight - Love Forum

dave0062001 · #1 (**permalink**) 19-04-05, 12:26 PM

Ok. Here's the skinny (ha).

My fiancee that I've been dating for 4 years has gained a lot of weight since we first started dating. She was 17 when we started and weighed around 145lbs. She now weighs almost 185lbs at the age of 21.

She doesn't exercise much (she used to a lot) and snacks without restraint, sometimes in excess (we're talking 10-12 oreos in a sitting).

She says she wants to lose around 7-8lbs for the wedding (in November) but right now actions are speaking louder than words and she'll walk (maybe) for about a mile once or twice a week, but is still snacking on cookies, chips, blizzards... again, not always in excess but sometimes (maybe once every 2-3 weeks).

What's gonna happen with this?! I know women usually plump up even more after marriage and then add in kids... whew. I love her SO much... I'm just a bit concerned. I'm just wondering if this will stop or if she sounds like she's going to balloon up to a huge woman. Thanks.

Frasbee · #2 (**permalink**) 19-04-05, 12:48 PM

Let's be honest, at her rate she'll be a plumpy blimp 20 years from now if she don't do somethin' about it.

Only-virgins · #3 (**permalink**) 19-04-05, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Let's be honest, at her rate she'll be a plumpy blimp 20 years from now if she don't do somethin' about it.

Probably that. 145- 180? that is a huge gain.

igor · #4 (**permalink**) 19-04-05, 01:03 PM

This is how it is for me...
I know I'm going to start getting fat one of these days, but until I do I won't really start worrying about it. I'm only 22 so all the junk I eat will eventually start making me fat. If I gained 5 or 10 pounds I would cut back on the food and exercise.
If this is happening already to her at that age then it might become a problem if she doesn't do something about it soon. It's hard to eat really healthy, so maybe try to get her to exercise and that should be enough for a young person. Of course, you know that you can't just say something like that to girls without getting in big trouble, so maybe suggest exercising more if she brings up wanting to lost weight. Or pretend that you want to exercise more and need someone to do it with. Otherwise it's a sensitive subject and will only cause an argument.

bluesummer · #5 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 12:28 AM

I gained a lot of weight after high school too. When I met my former bf at 17 I literally had the perfect body, and I too packed on about 40 lbs over 5 years. But not once did he ever say anything to me about it. Not until we broke up. Then it came out that my weight was somewhat of a cause for concern.

So you know what? Say something to her. People say it's insensitive to be so concerned about your partner's appearance, but if you aren't attracted to overweight girls, you can hardly help that can you? Physical attraction is still a part of the relationship. And you should also be concerned about her health. She is at risk for heart disease, and adult onset diabetes. Tell her that you are worried the toll this excess weight is going to take on her health. Start going to the gym and taking her with you. Next time she starts eating 10 Oreos, take 5 or 6 from her hand and tell her maybe she should share with you. Just cut everything back slowly. A supportive and encouraging partner is her best asset in weight loss.

My bf now did the same for me and I lost nearly all the weight I gained, and it really did make a huge difference in my life and my relationship. Good luck!

Frasbee · #6 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 12:34 AM

bluesummer...your success story is an inspiration to progressively over weight girls everywhere...

misombra · #7 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 12:41 AM

i agree with bluesummer. just tell her something about it. tell her you'll help her out and that you don't want to be mean. sometimes people are unconscious of their weight problem. i've had to tell my boyfriend to quit drinking those freakin' sodas cause they were giving him a belly. i didn't do it to be mean but like bluesummer said, you don't want her to get sick, diabetes is a *****. that's a big gain for 4 years. help her out. don't buy junk food when you go shopping. don't eat out so much. cook her up some healthy meals. go for walks. support her! she'll appreciate you so much more.

Illusional · #8 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 01:55 AM

damn, if my wife got that fat, i would tell her that she has become unattractive and FAT. yes, i would tell that fatso to get her ass to the gym. i know that for the majority people let go after a marriage, but the marriage didn't even start yet. she will only get fatter and fatter, but at the same time, she will make a good pillow.

raverboy

Frasbee · #9 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

but at the same time, she will make a good pillow.

everybody needs a bosom for a pillow...

bluesummer · #10 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

bluesummer...your success story is an inspiration to progressively over weight girls everywhere...

Yeah, well I just find it ridiculous now when a girl says "he should love me for who I am." Yes, he should, but can you really blame him if your 200 lb ass doesn't exactly make him hot? Would he have dated you if you looked that way in the first place? Probably not. If my bf gained that much weight, I would still totally love him, but I could honestly say I'd find him less attractive than before. That's not shallow, it's just human nature.

skybeam · #11 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

Yeah, well I just find it ridiculous now when a girl says "he should love me for who I am." Yes, he should, but can you really blame him if your 200 lb ass doesn't exactly make him hot? Would he have dated you if you looked that way in the first place? Probably not. If my bf gained that much weight, I would still totally love him, but I could honestly say I'd find him less attractive than before. That's not shallow, it's just human nature.

Id rather **** a girl who has some meat than a girl you cant grab anything and you feel her bones.

Illusional · #12 (**permalink**) 20-04-05, 05:49 PM

i've only dated one girl who weighed... wait i take that shit back. i've never dated anyone that weighed close to my weight.

raverboy

Frasbee · #13 (**permalink**) 21-04-05, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skybeam

Id rather **** a girl who has some meat than a girl you cant grab anything and you feel her bones.

Uh...this chick sounds like she's far from boney.

Illusional · #14 (**permalink**) 21-04-05, 07:27 AM

bone against bone... mmmmm... bumping and grinding till she breaks in half.

raverboy

dangel · #15 (**permalink**) 27-04-05, 11:28 AM

Take it from someone who's been there. When I met my wife she was normal weight. She started gaining weight, but after we got married she really started packing on the pounds. In 9 years she's now gained over 100 pounds. Moo!