HELP with G/F. Does she really want me

[rabbitt35]

Hey everyone,

I really hope someone can help me. Im a 29 yr old guy that has known this 25 yr old girl for about a year now. we work for the same company but in different departments. To make a long story short we started dating around New Years and since then things have been going very well. But i have always had a hesitation or feeling that she wasnt being completely honest with me in how she feels about me/us.

A bit of history.. She was married to a guy and then separated about a year ago. Since then she was dated a couple of times and got involved with a guy that i think she had pretty strong feelings for. that ended. Since we have been dating i can feel that she still has feelings for him in the way she looks at him. ( he works for the same company).

So anyway. Since we started dating i have fallen head over heels for this girl. So about a month ago i told her i loved her. She responded by telling me that she loved me too. It was FABULOUS. she is always telling me how well i treat her and how i spoil her. she misses me when we are apart (which is not for long or very often), and tells me she loves me. Anyway. things have been going well, but every now and then she gets really distant from me and pushes me away.

This week being one of those times. So i did the unthinkable. I read her journal. I know i shouldnt have, but its been tearing me up inside. So in it she talks about the guy she was dating last year and how she still has feelings for him she things but knows that he is bad for her. she also talks about her ex husband and that his birthday is coming up and how they used to celebrated it together every year. At one point she states that if given the chance would she see if they could make things work? she answered MAYBE.
anway then she goes on talking about me. how much i spoil her, how well i treat her, and how she enjoys spending time with me. she wrote about how i told her i loved her, and sayed that she told me she loved me because she couldnt hurt my feelings. and doesnt want to hurt me, etc etc. K so my problem is.. WHAT THE HECK DO I DO??? I would rather be hurt and know the truth rather than be made a fool of.

Do i confront her? not telling her that i read her journal but just ask for her honesty and ask her if i am what she wants? or do i just leave it alone???

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!

[misombra]

first of all, shame on you for reading her journal. nobody ever finds good things about themselves in the journal of others. you could have simply asked and she would have probably told you the truth.

leave it alone. all those feelings are normal. just treat her right like you usually do and let things go. it's normal to have feelings for her ex's. and maybe she doesn't know if she loves you or not, you guys have just recently started dating.

[rabbitt35]

anything else i can do?

[ALovelyLady86]

I disagree...
I dont think you should have read the journal but you did and its over with so lets move on...
Above it was stated that this is common and to let her play out her feelings and blah blah blah... I dont agree with that at all.
No matter who she dated in the past, they are the past, and for her to have feelings for them still is not normal...depending how long its been since they were in the past.
This isnt your problem, this is her problem and until shes settled this within herself I wouldnt allow myself to get anymore attached to her. Let her know that you feel like she doesnt love you like you do her, and that youre going to let her take her course and if fate has it then youll be together.
If this girl has admitted openly in a journal that she doesnt really love you, and still has feelings for someone else.. why would you stay with this person?
You should be able to blow away all the feelings shes had for other guys! And you know what? Someday you will find the woman who loves you more than any other person she has ever loved. You just have to wait for her.