Dating a younger girl - Love Forum

JoGorilla · #1 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 09:06 AM

Okay, here's a question. I live in CA and I'm wondering what the rule is on dating underage people. I know it's something that is done all the time anyway, but what's the rule? My thing is, is that I work in a high visibility job in the military. Now I was told by a ranking person that there is a rule that says that you can date someone underage with parental consent. That all being said, you are probably wondering why that matters. Okay this may seem wierd, but let me explain. I'm 21 and in the military. I have been using my off duty time to practice martial arts with some friends. Now one of the people who practices with us now and then is a 17 yr old girl who is the daughter of one of the other people who I practice with. Now, I feel akward because I know that I'm not supposed to want to have a relationship with someone under 18yrs old by law, but this girl is really cool, and her mom and I are cool with each other, and according to her close friend, this girl has a small crush on me. Anyway, I don't really see any problem personally with the relationship ocurring, so long as it's a mature one, but I'd like to ask somone else what they think about it. I mean, do you think that it's wrong to be attracted to somone that young if I'm 21?

ALovelyLady86 · #2 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 09:20 AM

In the state of Georgia 17 is legal. I was 17 when I met my ex Chris who was then 27. As long as you feel like this girl is mature enough to handle a serious thing... I say go for it. Take it VERY SLOWLY ok??

shh! · #3 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 09:35 AM

I think the military penalties could be harsh (not to mention civil penalties). Since you were warned by a ranking officer, I think you ought to wait till she's 18. Your military career could really suffer.

JoGorilla · #4 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 02:16 PM

hmm... well, the thing is, is that there's no sexual activities involved here. More or less it's one of those relationship's that's like a good friendship, but where I could take her out to a movie or get coffee or something. I'm not really interested in having sex with a girl right off the bat, no matter what her age is. I feel a little more akward after reading that other post about the guy who slept with his niece. I'm not sure if it's real or not, but if it is, that's pretty F'd up stuff. Anyway, I just wanted to get a general idea of what kind of reaction I would be getting from the mainstream public if they were to see us together or whatever. But yeah, for the most part, I agree with shh! on this, in that it's better safe than sorry. Gracias Amigo's and Amiga's!

ALovelyLady86 · #5 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 10:25 PM

When I was 17 and hung out with Chris at 27, we never got a look. It was just natural...

shh! · #6 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 10:32 PM

Lady: I don't think you understand. The issue is not the age difference (although I wouldn't love for my 17 year old daughter to be dating a 27 year old; I would worry about his maturity), but the fact that he was warned by a superior officer against dating the girl could mean military discipline if he were discovered. Like it or not, she is underage.

Fawn · #7 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 10:39 PM

If its going to effect your career its obvious that you'll have to back off from her. Unfortunatly nothing is fair in this world. This doesn't mean that you can't still be friends with her, or even have a casual relationship. Just be careful.

ALovelyLady86 · #8 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 10:42 PM

Ok I dont know if YOU dont understand Shh! but 17 is not underage unless they are talking sex. He clearly said he wouldnt be having sex with her so....
Jo have fun!

PS it isnt anyone elses business who he dates anyway why would this have anything to do with his job? Whos to say they would even find out??

confusedsoul · #9 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 12:51 AM

lol ..fighting spirit..
but even i think the military ppl might be lil harsh if they discover he dates a underage girl.. even normal workplaces have codes of conduct between co-workers and all that stuff..I just presume that military might be strict bout these things, although it may seem as none of their business!!
PS: when is her bday?? she must be turning 18 sometime..well wait till then!!

shh! · #10 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 01:40 AM

"PS it isnt anyone elses business who he dates anyway why would this have anything to do with his job? Whos to say they would even find out??"

Lady/Girl: How old are you?

ALovelyLady86 · #11 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 01:53 AM

Jo this girl is not in the military with you. I can see how that would be a problem, but this really its a big deal. Who you date is no one elses business and there would be no way they could find out anyway. If you like this girl enough date her. There are no laws against it (as far as I've read) unless we're talking sex.
Just have fun with her and take it slow

cu_tigers90 · #12 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 05:41 AM

Like ALovelyLady86 said, in the state of Georgia, 17 is legal. I don't know how other states are, but that's how it is where I live.

I personally don't see anything wrong with it. She's mature enough to have a relationship. If you really care about someone, I don't think age should matter, especially if it's only 4 years. As long as she's not under the age of 17, then you're not breaking the law, and there's nothing wrong with it.

I know a guy who's 25 or 26 and he's dating a 17 year old. No one says anything about it.

ALovelyLady86 · #13 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 06:27 AM

Ya it really all depends on who the people are. If shes a mature individual with goals and a good future ahead of her, as hopefully you are also, then go for it! Shes obviously very active, and being in the same class as you are makes it even better. I think there could be a lot of potential and contrary to popular believe 17 is not illegal.

I would know I was 17 when I met Chris and like I said he was 27. We never got looks, we never had any problems when it came to maturity level. I'm just attracted to men who are stable and are out of their party stage. Thats why I date older.