Girl Dilemma - Love Forum

lateralus · #1 (**permalink**) 20-05-05, 03:45 AM

Can someone sort out this dilemma I have at work.

Since a couple of months I have joined the social activities team. Within this group of 10 people there is this beautiful girl, I had almost never talked to as she works in a different building then mine.

For the first couple of meetings I noticed her looking at me, however due to my shy nature especially with girls, I always looked away. After a couple of meetings, I found the courage to hold her gaze for a couple of seconds. As time passed we started to talk more and became friends. The amount of smiling and looks and long gazes from across the room continued to increase. Sometimes I noticed her getting nervous after I looked or smiled as she starts fixing her clothes or simply acts nervously. She laughs a lot to my jokes and I noticed many times that spark in the eye while laughing.

So what is my dilemma? A friend and colleague of mine which is also part of this team has been a close friend of her. They seem very close as she stays near to him for a lot of time. She seems quite comfortable with him and sometimes I see a bit of flirting. This colleague whom sits close to my desk receives lots of emails and phone calls from her, just for the sake of chatting. With me she rarely calls or sends an email, and when she does, she always have what it looks like a valid reason even if we finish talking on different things.

So my point is, she acts differently with both of us, so logically she feels different about us. Is she interested in me and friends with the other guy, or vice-versa, or just being friendly with both?

xplodinjohnno · #2 (**permalink**) 20-05-05, 09:14 AM

OK, tough one!
i wouldnt know how to take this one, but one guess is to let time take its course. I'm usally the shy one but this year i though to my self i wouldnt give a rats arse.... excuse the language. Ok so from the sounds of things it shows u have feelings for this girl and want to be with her? Am i right? Well in that case, break out of ur shy shell and ask her how she feels, and where you stand in her life. A good trick to do this is sort of play truth while sitting down for lunch or somthing like that. Get her to ask u questions, and vice versa.

Frasbee · #3 (**permalink**) 20-05-05, 09:56 AM

Why don't you see if you can go out with her before you start over analyzing this silly "situation".

Tone · #4 (**permalink**) 21-05-05, 02:12 AM

Yeah invite her out for dinner and a movie or somethin in the upcoming weekend. Go from there. Tell your colleague you're thinkin of askin her out and see what he says.

lateralus · #5 (**permalink**) 22-05-05, 05:07 PM

So I stopped overanalyzing the situation, and asked my colleague what he thinks about her and he is not interested. I told him of my intention of asking her out, and he told me that he always tought thier was a spark between us.

So yesteraday, I swalled my shyness and ask her out......and she let me down but wants us to remian friends.

WTF

mhussain · #6 (**permalink**) 23-05-05, 08:50 AM

they always want to remain friends *sigh*

sorry mate

Hussain

Tone · #7 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 01:52 AM

Hey man at least you tried. Now you can feel better knowin you had the courage to go for it, and not spend the next days, weeks, months, years wondering "Man I wonder what she would say if I asked her out..."

Her loss, move on, there's plenty more women out there

coffeecrazy · #8 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 08:07 PM

Yeah well done man, I still don't dare ask out a girl i've liked for months.

COAD · #9 (**permalink**) 24-05-05, 08:52 PM

Im proud of you man!

mhussain · #10 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 11:45 AM

me too

Hussain

lateralus · #11 (**permalink**) 26-05-05, 05:07 AM

Thanks to all. It still feels bad especially when I have still have to meet her on a regular basis. What I got to know lately is that she is completly obsessed by my colleague. Good luck to him but I must admit that it would be difficult next time especially when I was almost sure I would have a postive outcome. Hopefully time will tell.