Change in Behaviour Pattern - Love Forum

andaar · #1 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 02:39 PM

Hi Everyone,

First Post!

Some interesting events have been taking place in my romantic life for the last few days and I'd like to share them with you to get your opinion.

I have been dating my girlfriend E for about 4 years now. 3 of those have been long distance years since I made a career choice to move far away. Both of us are in graduate degree programs and get to see each other about once or twice every two months. Obviously this hasn't been an ideal arrangement, but we've been getting along fine. During this time I've been faced with numerous "options" with other women but have declined all of those since I feel E is special.

So now for the problem: E finished a major exam a few days ago and decided to go out partying and have a good time. I think that was fine and exactly the right thing to do. Apparently she got introduced a new "party" crowd and was having a really, really good time. Such a good time that she basically ignored my phone calls for 3 days, along with those of many of her other friends.

Since we normally end up talking about 3 times a day this was quite disturbing. I have no problems trusting her but would expect some consideration in letting me know that she's OK and not to worry.

To bring more interest into the situation apparently the guy who was her conduit to the party "crowd" has blatently declared an interest in her. I'm fairly positive that nothing happened from the tonality of her voice (all my conversations recently have been over the phone unfortunately).

So my situation is this: I've basically been ignored, and kept out of the loop over her wild weekend. And some other guy is potentially running interference.

When I finally did get a hold of her I was quite angry and upset. She told me she was really sorry but she was just in another world and isn't sure why she didn't bother getting in touch with me. I let her know her behaviour was unacceptable, extremely disrespectful to me and if the situation ever occured again I would no longer accept her in my life (which is true no bluffing).

This is where I would be interested in your opinions. My feeling is that she experienced contact with a group of people which brought her back to her old lifestyle (she's Spanish and multi day parties are not too unusual). What bothers me still is that this was so seductive to her that contact with me stopped being the priority. Finally, obviously there is a need in her that is looking to be fulfilled. How to best incorporate this into the evolution of our relationship?

Your opinions and suggestions are most appreciated. Thanx!

ALovelyLady86 · #2 (**permalink**) 25-05-05, 10:35 PM

This could be her just having a good time, but I've always believed that when people do something like this, they know the consequences of their actions and either they chose to do it anyway or they chose not to. She knew the whole time (unless she has a mental brain disfunction and cant keep up with what she does) that she wasnt calling you.

If I were you I would give her a taste of her own medicine. How many days was it that you didnt talk to her? three?
When she calls dont answer for three days. People will disagree with me saying its playing a game, but when it comes to relationships they are games, and either you learn to play or you lose. Your choice...