Hello My name is Ziffy and i am 21 years old and i am having doubts about my newest relation ship with a girl, alittle bit abotu my background i havent had many girls in my life just few and there are now remaining jsty very good friends aand nothign intimate.. so that said i would like to know what to do with the following... since my experience in that matter is very nadaa
So i met this girl (24) she is a new commer to a our country(with parents , so she is secure as for ground) she is pretty much a newbie and she is just starting to get to know the country and the people.. we met few times/dates -like we went together to the movies,bars, and few trips in the outdoor country(witch suprisingly she enjoyed the most despite the physical effort) just to get to know one another more closely and stuff. What i have seen from that is a very very possitve thing- we share mostly everything the same way -we have so many common grounds its just unbelieveble its like you can play with all the equipment in the playground without havign a disagreement , i am not saying that she is a easy going and obidient its just that she happens to be the same type of person as i am and i feel like we are made for one another ... so the problem is here-we are friends for now and i do really wanna keep it taht way in general ,but also i am very attracted to her in a special way and i would like to have a little intrigue with her and stuff but what bugs me is this- first of all she is a little bit older than me 24 yeras old-and she had many atleast 3-4 seriosus relation ships in her days before-one of her longest relation ships was in the time span of 6 years-but the guy moved to another country and the distant relation ship didnt work for them so now she is open and availeble ,but the dreaded "but" is here-despite that i am one of her best friends here and the one that showed her few things around ,i am also teh one that she doesnt suspect i am open and i am willing to take few chances and be alittle bit closer to her --i did show some flirty moves-holding hands ,keeping eye contact (nothing that is very intrusive) talking stuff that matters and stuff like that-but at the most part i didnt get anything in return-holding hands at her side was like " Hmm he wants to hold hands well lets please him so he wont bother me again" something like that-just not very happy or who knows . eye contact: she keeps it for like few seconds and than looks away -witch does bugs me-is she SHy? Do i make her nervous?Shy after all these time spend with men-nervous... or just probably i am one of the first ones that brings her alittle bit more speciality to the table and she doenst know how to handle it or soemthing .. i dont know i start to become very paranoid.. anyway this aint the only problem i have...
beside all that above There is this other guy witch i havent seen but heard from her that he is like a guy that wants to get married with her and have kids and stuff-and thats what was said at their first date-thats what she told me..witch we both laughed at ...you know cuz we both find it kidn of unusual and desperate to talk about such a matter at your first date with a stranger that you dont know-so she was like oh "he is nuts"-..but the thing is she keeps hanging out with him-he is a diffrent nationality that is(me and her are the same nationality) and she gets very late with him like 12 :30 at nite-i say this cuz she is the sleepy type she cant hold until 12 without getting zonked
-so that brought me the fear that she is kind of attracted to him in a simmiler way as she is with me despite his NEEDY ideas and insanity (in good matter afcourse-but yet i am jelous) so i beleive that covers the general idea behind eveyrhting that goes with us...
so here are my questions
1. The eye contact , holding hands-- is she just a wounded soul that still recovers from her past relation ships and is this why she avoids me in that intimate way persay... or maybe she is avoiding me because of this other guY(the one that she met just few days after me ) who they might have something in between that i dont know about?! its very frustrating for me... please some hints- Asking her directly or Indirectly will sound that i am desperate and very snoopy and perhaps unapropriete if she doesnt feel the same way i feel about her..
2.How can i open to her without giving away my despereration?
3. Is she avoiding me in that matter because i am a little bit younger than her -and she is fearing that i am perhaps unmature and maybe not very secure as that i dont have a stable job or post secondary education for now(witch she never asked for details infact she never asked if ever wanted to go to college or about details of the work i do) about the work she did know that i work as labourer and maybe she figured by her self that i am not the best case scenario for a boy friend ,but thats too harshof her cuz i never said thats my path to life its just temporary..anyway do you think it is the age?
4. She aint very talktive until you start the conversation-if i hit dreaded silince she follows and we can go like taht forever-until i do something funny and we both laugh at it.. she is not the conversation opener for some reason-however she is avery very intelegent woman and she knows what is she talking about.. but maybe she finds my topics tedious(i am just part of the conversation i never talk about serious matter that will become irritating -i do talk about the things that make her laugh and not just that make us both laugh) just having a quality time-you know you cant talk 24/7 abotu things-there is always the pauses and the time you reinforce yoruself with new things to say ..... SO SHE FINDS ME UNATTRACTIVE and UNOriginal or whatever?
5. If she didnt find me attrative why did she spend this time together ... well total of few days together from dusk till down and past -- time together she does enjoy the time we spend together .. but maybe its because she got nobody else to spend it with and i am like the one that can fulfill her time so...... what the hell is going on...
6. the most important question of all -asking her about what she does , or what she thinks about me or what does she do with that other guy would and for sure might change her oppinion about me drasticly and make our good friendship change from the good friend into the guy next door and i will be just the guy who introduced her to the country -nothing more nothing less... i dont want that-i do want her loyalty as a friend and her company around.. but also alittle bit more-witch is the one that i am having troubles with... maybe It is the lust -it is the hot wave that washed me away from reality-i am just IN NEED For having a ltitle bit more than just a friendship ,because damn i never seen such a great person before that shares so much in common (and i am a sociel person i do undersand people ) also (I AM NOT DOING IT FOR THE PHYSICAL ACTION -this is not my thing ) its all spiritual for me .... so how should i proceed inorder to not make this fairy tale end into a distaterous night mare
Well Thats about it
hehe sorry for teh long msg .. if you dont have anything to help , hint,tip, reply, support or whatever i aint gonna be mad- i mean i am in grave deed but well these things are best done on your own -but always the help of a fellow people can improve the efficiancy of success and will be greatfully apprecieted... that said thank you for reading and enjoy life
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