The guys job? - Love Forum

JHW · #1 (**permalink**) 28-05-05, 07:16 PM

I'm 16 and there's this girl I like. I don't know if she knows that I like her, but I'm pretty sure she knows.
Cause I talk to her on the phone from time to time and she lives like 5-6h away from me. But that has nothing to do with it.
I'd like to know if she likes me back or is at least interested, WITHOUT asking her. hehe it would just be akward. It's always me who's calling her all the time, is it because she doesn't like me that way that's why she doesn't call or is it because it's um..the guys job? to call the girls. (hehe I hope you know what I mean) And that's why she doesn't call? or..I don't know I'm confused. :S

Oh yeah, you shouldn't tell a girl that you like her right? you should show it instead..was it? Because or else you might scare her away? Don't remember hehe.

misombra · #2 (**permalink**) 28-05-05, 11:37 PM

hi jhw. it is akward just to ask someone if they like you. does she have caller id? because when i was your age, if i didn't like a guy that was calling me i just wouldn't answer. so i suppose the first sign would be that she knows you are calling and she answers. have you told her to call you? you should encourage her to call or ask when you should call her again. she might think you should call her. when i was your age my mom always told me not to call boys and let them call you.

and you could just tell her that you want to get to know her better and you want to talk more. you don't have to ask if she likes you but you can definitely show her that you like her. there's nothing wrong with that.

shh! · #3 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 01:01 AM

If the girl lives 5-6 hours away, phone calls can be expensive. Perhaps her parents are not willing to pay higher phone bills. Also, yeah - I, too, was told to let the boys call me. Girls who pursue boys are labeled "slutty" (whether or not that is fair is really irrelevant).

JHW · #4 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

hi jhw. it is akward just to ask someone if they like you. does she have caller id? because when i was your age, if i didn't like a guy that was calling me i just wouldn't answer. so i suppose the first sign would be that she knows you are calling and she answers. have you told her to call you? you should encourage her to call or ask when you should call her again. she might think you should call her. when i was your age my mom always told me not to call boys and let them call you.

and you could just tell her that you want to get to know her better and you want to talk more. you don't have to ask if she likes you but you can definitely show her that you like her. there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah I'm pretty sure she has caller id.
What? should I tell her to call me? wouldn't she like feel like she's forced to call me then? and..um..I'm not really good with words, how should I tell her in a more um.."discreet" way? for her to call me or me calling her? hehe. (I am so not good at this)

..thanks for your help btw hehe.

Fyesteema4 · #5 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 09:04 AM

what is up with the "hehe's"? Are you really a boy?

shh! · #6 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JHW

Yeah I'm pretty sure she has caller id.
What? should I tell her to call me? wouldn't she like feel like she's forced to call me then? and..um..I'm not really good with words, how should I tell her in a more um.."discreet" way? for her to call me or me calling her? hehe. (I am so not good at this)

..thanks for your help btw hehe.

Try "here's my number; why don't you call me sometime. It would be fun to hear from you."

shh! · #7 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 10:24 AM

Oh, and I agree that you might want to drop the "hehe's" because it makes you appear nervous. Girls like boys with confidence, so fake it until it becomes natural.

Illusional · #8 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 06:01 PM

why run around the track field when you can cut right through it??

raverboy

JHW · #9 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 12:30 AM

Yes! I'm a boy. the "hehe's"? I guess it's just a bad habit. I'll stop saying that. And..girls like guys with confidence? oh okay. Being shy does that work too? Cause I'm more the "shy-type"

shh! · #10 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JHW

Yes! I'm a boy. the "hehe's"? I guess it's just a bad habit. I'll stop saying that. And..girls like guys with confidence? oh okay. Being shy does that work too? Cause I'm more the "shy-type"

Shy is fine. Quiet confidence is good. (Think strong, silent type.) Confidence is the quality of being comfortable with yourself and having a sense of certainty of your value. (I am guessing that this is a quality valued by the male species, too.) It is sometimes hard to know how to convey this quality, but it becomes more natural with age, so don't be too hard on yourself, and keep practicing.

Loud, outgoing confidence looks more like arrogance, and well, that can be very alienating. It's a fine line. Good luck.

mhussain · #11 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 11:06 AM

best of luck

hussain

Prodigal · #12 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 11:52 AM

Nice post, shh!. I think you hit the nail on the head there.

In fact, quiet confidence can turn out to be the loudest in the end (as in, it stands out, and there was nothing even said).

JHW · #13 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 10:51 PM

sorry..my english is very bad, what does quiet confidence mean exactly? Can someone please explain?

mhussain · #14 (**permalink**) 01-06-05, 11:56 AM

not bragging about what u r .. but knowing what u want ... going straight for ur goal without showing off or much fanfare ...

think so

Hussain

DarkDwarf · #15 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JHW

I'm 16 and there's this girl I like. I don't know if she knows that I like her, but I'm pretty sure she knows.
Cause I talk to her on the phone from time to time and she lives like 5-6h away from me. But that has nothing to do with it.
I'd like to know if she likes me back or is at least interested, WITHOUT asking her. hehe it would just be akward. It's always me who's calling her all the time, is it because she doesn't like me that way that's why she doesn't call or is it because it's um..the guys job? to call the girls. (hehe I hope you know what I mean) And that's why she doesn't call? or..I don't know I'm confused. :S

Oh yeah, you shouldn't tell a girl that you like her right? you should show it instead..was it? Because or else you might scare her away? Don't remember hehe.

Man thats my life story. You SHOULD be able to use your feelings to find out if she likes you. Even if her freind says she likes you you still cant be sure. Use your feelings and just ask her.