Internet Love Problem Thingy - Love Forum

Anonymous1 · #1 (**permalink**) 29-05-05, 09:54 PM

ok well i didnt know what to name this post. Its kinda wierd. Ive been talking to a guy on the internet now for nearly 2 years. Ive just turned 20, hes 19. We really like each other, and talk about the future and meeting some day and all that. But the thing is that i am really self concious, im soo scared that he wont like me, and that ill dissapoint him, to the point that i dont even know if i will even go through with ever meeting. I feel like every single little thing, like all these things about my body i dont like, its like ive been dishonest to him or something for not telling him. That sounds stupid i know, i just really dont want him to be dissapointed or think... "why would u even think id like you" kinda thing. Does anyone get me? lol. Its not like im really ugly or anything i just have confidence issues. Hes seen pictures and stuff, but its not like im exactly gona send a bad picture of myself am i. I know if i dont meet him ill always regret it, cos ill never forget him. And i know the only advice there is really is to just meet him, but its not that simple. I dont quite know what advice im looking to hear, but anything will do. Thanks

Prodigal · #2 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 01:26 AM

I know EXACTLY what you mean... I used to feel that way. I was like that for a long time, and then for some reason I just stopped caring.

Why is that? Well, let's just say that basically all of the reasons that I stopped caring about that you said in your post. You said that you and this guy "really like each other, talk about the future and meeting someday". In fact, it was the situation itself that made me stop caring!

And I had thought the way you thought for a long time. What if she doesn't like the way I look? What if she thinks I'm ugly? etc. Then I found it really stupid.

Here's the way I think (back to you now; if you didn't know, I know how you feel because my situation is much the same). If he says that he wants to meet you, doesn't that mean something? He says he really likes you and all of that. Does that mean nothing? That means a lot more than what you look like. Also, he has already seen your picture... so he has an idea of what you look like (even if it is your best picture; does that matter? When you meet, you'll probably dress yourself up to look your best). The funny thing is that it doesn't even matter, because when he says he likes you, he says that because he likes you on the inside. The chance of it being lust is incredibly small. Why? There are a lot of attractive, hot girls just about everywhere. So if he wanted to get with a girl because of looks or for lust, why not get one who is there? There would be no reason to go for a girl who lives a ways away, because there isn't physical contact!

That's not to say that people aren't different in real life than they are online. They may or may not be... but you know, the longer you know somebody (talking on the phone helps, too), the chance of them being way different is, well, lessened until it nearly disappears.

I would not worry about your looks to this guy. What if your self-conscience prevents you from actually planning to meet him? Would you rather have that?

I really didn't think so. You're just fine. The last thing I will say is this: it doesn't matter (much) to him what you look like. He finds your soul, heart, and mind beautiful, which means SO much more than stupid looks. There's also this thing about when you start liking someone for the real them, they get so much more attractive in your eyes.

Fyesteema4 · #3 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 09:36 AM

Don't meet anyone you meet online! It is just DESTINED to be horrible!!! Internet relationship are REDICULOUS. And he could totally not be who he says he is. If you feel like you HAVE to meet him have a friend ready to bail you out if it goes bad or you feel like you may be in danger. I wouldnt worry about you--He could end up being FUGLY.

Frasbee · #4 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fyesteema4

Don't meet anyone you meet online! It is just DESTINED to be horrible!!! Internet relationship are REDICULOUS. And he could totally not be who he says he is. If you feel like you HAVE to meet him have a friend ready to bail you out if it goes bad or you feel like you may be in danger. I wouldnt worry about you--He could end up being FUGLY.

Yeah.

All guys that you meet on-line are "fugly" rapist murderers.

All of them.

In fact we had a character in here that called himself Nomas.

He gained the trust of two members, Misombra and Arty, met up with them and...we never heard from them again...

Prodigal · #5 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 01:10 PM

Lol Frasbee. xD

Fyesteema4 · #6 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 01:36 PM

Hey I didn't say all of them, but how much shit do you see/hear about online predators. Jesus.

Frasbee · #7 (**permalink**) 30-05-05, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fyesteema4

Hey I didn't say all of them, but how much shit do you see/hear about online predators. Jesus.

Truthfully?

Little to none at all.

Admit it, you're paranoid.

Prodigal · #8 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 01:26 AM

Fyesteema,

I beg to differ.

Look back on your last post.

Hm. So you didn't say ALL of them, yet you did say meeting anyone you meet online is DESTINED to be horrible. Your whole post seems more ridiculous than the thought of internet relationships itself.

So, let's begin. Okay, everyone online is some person on the computer, another person that's probably just like us. Yes, you're right, there ARE some people that go online who are sexual predators and are looking for a victim. But the number is so incredibly small. We hear about them much on the news because that's the way news works... they do things that capture people's attention. They don't report on the 99.9% of people online who aren't sexual predators, and you don't even hear much about all the online relationships that do end up in marriage! Seriously, saying that you hear shit about sexual predators is like someone saying "Don't meet anyone new, they may be a murderer!", and backing it up with the fact that you hear about people getting murdered all the time. It is absolutely absurd.

Almost everyone who goes online is a normal person... just another person going through life, working, learning, etc... just like all of us. If you say that there are so many sexual predators are out there, give me statistics! Compare the number of sexual predators or acts relating to this to the number of people using the internet. Bet the percentage is incredibly small: Probably less than 0.5%.

So, now I ask the question of you, fyesteema. Has this happened to you? Have you met someone online, it turned out horrible because it was DESTINED to, he wasn't who you thought he was, and had to have your friend bail you out because he wanted to rape you? And was he FUGLY?

I doubt it. If so, maybe we can argue more. But if you have no experience in the area of online relationships and are speaking off of what you THINK they are like... then stop. At least have a real reason for thinking what you think on this, because what you say may affect what Anonymous1 does about this.

ALovelyLady86 · #9 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 01:32 AM

I met Chris online... 6 months later we met in "real life". He wasnt a predator, and he was hot lol. I've met 3 others like that as well.
I have met one dude that ended up being a fat 15 year old boy lol... When he said he was muscular, sexy, tall and about 19 lol.
Just make sure you meet in public. At a mall. At least that way if you dont like him you can flee lol.

Frasbee · #10 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 02:00 AM

Fyesteema is a sexual predator.

Anonymous1 · #11 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 10:38 AM

Thanks for all the advice Prodigal. Dont worry, ive learnt to ignore Frasbee by now

It has nothing to do with him being dangerous or not being what he says he is anyway. Ive seen enough pics and no him well enough to know hes not a... "fugly sexual predator"

Frasbee · #12 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous1

Thanks for all the advice Prodigal. Dont worry, ive learnt to ignore Frasbee by now

It has nothing to do with him being dangerous or not being what he says he is anyway. Ive seen enough pics and no him well enough to know hes not a... "fugly sexual predator"

Ignore me??

Dude I'm like your best friend!

Or I was...the truth comes out I see...and it hurts, oh does it hurt.

Anonymous1 · #13 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 10:41 AM

oops it was fyesteema, not frasbee lol

Frasbee · #14 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 10:44 AM

Oh...

Damn and I was lookin' forward to creating a "My Anonymous Friend Disowned Me" thread.

Anonymous1 · #15 (**permalink**) 31-05-05, 10:48 AM

aww, sorry. It could still happen, give it time..... im sure ull get to make your thread some day