What's going on between us? - Love Forum

bkzsick0 · #1 (**permalink**) 03-06-05, 02:53 PM

I don't really know what's happening with me and this girl. We've been friend for a while now and we've met like twice. I know sounds dumb. Well, we talk on the phone every night for the past like year. She broke up with her boyfriend which was a 1 year relationship. We talk like we're dating and we always say, in the middle of the conversation, I love you and all that. She recently just sent me pics of herself in a bathing suit. Lol. I love her so much and she always tells me how she loves me so much too but she's not ready for a relationship. The exact line is like "Oh, well, I could go out with you but I wouldn't be able to give you my all." And I usually say well I'm not going to force you to be with me because that wouldn't make me happy. About 1 day ago I told her it's really too hard to be just your friend and I need to be more. And she's like I know I know but just wait a little longer. I don't know what to do. She hasn't even given me an idea how long I would have to wait. So what I did is I-m her and say listen, I can't put my self through all this pain waiting for you. So I'm just going to have to stop talking to you and shit because this is really hurting me. But the thing is she called about 1000 times after that crying. Don't leave me don't leave me please dont. Telling me , "Oh, I'm coming to your house now if you're not going to talk to me over the computer or answer your phone". I mean, I thought right then and there that she really loved me. Oh, I forgot to tell you why I fell in love with her. Lol. Kinda important. Well, It all began on this phone conversation. Towards the end she was like Oh, I'm laying down and I'm soooo cold. I said I wish I was there to hold you and make you warm. Then it began. She started telling me all these things that I'd never heard before and she made me feel so great. She was like "I wish that you were here right now to hold me and kiss me and tell me everything is going to be alright". I don't know what's going on everytime she says shit like that it just pulls me in deeper and deeper but she keeps saying she can't handle a relationship emotionally right now? OMG. Someone help me!

mhussain · #2 (**permalink**) 03-06-05, 04:39 PM

have u met her ... as in ever?

and also can u go to her house or meet her anywhere?

Hussain

Tone · #3 (**permalink**) 03-06-05, 11:58 PM

Be patient!! Give her space. DON'T be there for her as a b/f, despite how you feel about her... when you're around her act as friends only and when you're on the phone act as friends only and when she tries to ask why or go further just say "I'm respecting your wishes to not get involved with you til you're ready" and eventually she'll crash and realize she IS ready to be in a relationship, cause right now she's basically using you as a b/f without the label of "boyfriend" ya dig?

Be strong dude - DO NOT act all lovey dovey around her anymore until she is ready to be your girlfriend. Good luck.

COAD · #4 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 12:17 AM

Ill tell you a little story about me

Me and this girl, were good friends i guess.... I started gaining feelings and stuff, she was interested in friends only tho, thats what i thought. So I started being all nice and stuff, she noticed and kinda did her thing too - next thing i know in like a week or two... We are sitting in the car kissing.

I took it slow, you take it slow........... Its gonna work out. In your case its even better, you know she loves you.

bkzsick0 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 01:27 AM

Wow. I'm so glad I joined this forum because that's all really good advice. Thanks to all and I'll try to follow that. The thing is, it's really hard to act like that because it's not what I feel. But you know what? I'm going to try anything I could and I didn't try that yet so I'm going to follow ur advice. Thanks so muchh.

bkzsick0 · #6 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 01:28 AM

Another thing is, I can't stop thinking about her after I get off the phone. Anything to do about that?

bkzsick0 · #7 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mhussain

have u met her ... as in ever?

and also can u go to her house or meet her anywhere?

Hussain

yeah i've met her like twice and i could see her everyday if i wanted to she lives about 10 minz away from me.

Tone · #8 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 01:44 AM

Just find things to do to keep yourself busy, call up your buddies and chat or help your mom clean or something, ANYTHING to keep your mind off her... if you REALLY want her you have to respect her and she says she's not ready, so make her want you and make her realize she IS ready. If you stop acting lovey dovey around her she'll want those feelings back and bam you win the prize.

BE STRONG and don't focus on here and now and what you want right now, which is to express your feelings and be with her, rather focus on the bigger picture and the longrun where you can have her as your girlfriend. Keep us updated.

mhussain · #9 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 02:30 AM

have patience ... all comes to those who wait

it is the hardest thing to do .. but it pays

Hussain

bkzsick0 · #10 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 03:36 AM

We're supposed to hang out tonight so I'll tell you what happens.

COAD · #11 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bkzsick0

We're supposed to hang out tonight so I'll tell you what happens.

Definately tell us
Keep up updated

bkzsick0 · #12 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 01:05 PM

So pissed off. Just got home. I went to her house and there was a bunch of kids there. People I knew. I got so mad because the way she talks on the phone and the computer is so different from the way she acts. I was there the whole time and she didn't even say 1 word to me. ****ing pissed right now. I don't know what I should do? And her away message says : Auto response from THEGIRL [1:02 A.M.]: why do you keep this up for so long when you know that your the only one i truly love!? </3" I think it's about her ex and I'll be really really mad if it is because she told me she didn't love him as much as she loved me and I was the only one she truly loved. I'm going to have to talk to her tomorrow about it. If it's him, what the **** should I do because I will be soooooooooo madddddd. >:[

mhussain · #13 (**permalink**) 04-06-05, 04:00 PM

*sigh*

Hussain

bkzsick0 · #14 (**permalink**) 05-06-05, 03:50 AM

Ok, found out it was about him but she just clicked any away message and said she doesn't feel like that for him anymore. But what about that silent treatment I got lastnight?

mhussain · #15 (**permalink**) 05-06-05, 10:18 AM

ask her .... and also ask her that if she doesnt feel for him like that .. why is the message still there?

if she loves u and u love her ... u have a right to know ...

Hussain