what to do...?

[DarkDwarf]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CodeBoy

hi, i'm 16 years old in high school. I've never had a girlfriend before and I'm kind of shy but I have several friends. So anyway, about a month ago I got a crush on this girl that I didn't know too well but I have 3 classes with her. I started just saying hi to her and initializing small conversations with her about things like school. I found out she is on the track & field team so I talked to her about that aswell. This was the first time I've really ever talked to a girl I liked so at first I was a bit nervous but I'm not as nervous around her now. She seems very nice and friendly to me but I don't think she knows how I feel about her. I want to tell her so bad but I wouldn't until we got to know each other better. Even then I probably wouldn't tell her, would just show her I like her and let her figure it out.

The problem is...about a week later I found out she's going out with another guy. This guy is probably the most popular guy I know. He's smart, outgoing, athletic...etc. I'm disappointed because I thought maybe I would work up the courage to ask her out. Now I feel like I will never have a chance of asking her out. Then even if I was to ask her out I don't think she would say yes if she can get a guy like that. It seems like getting a girl is a popularity contest or something.

anyways...summer is coming up. so I guess I won't see her or talk to her probably until next school year. I don't have her phone number or anything and i would feel too weird asking her for it. I not sure what to do. I still want to talk to her but maybe I should forget about her and move on.

I went through that one time until i met the girl i am with now...

She is one year ahead of me and unpopular (I didn't know) You just have to pick the unpopular ones

[CodeBoy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

Wouldn't you rather know you tried though? Would you rather have people tease you for awhile about it on the outside or drive yourself crazy on the inside always wondering "What if... what if I asked her.. I wonder what she would say.. what if......" which could last for who knows how long.

What's the big deal, people are attracted to people, you should have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, so just shrug it off when your friends tease you about it.

To me, being rejected, at least I know I tried and can move on and be done with it... to never try though, that is a regret I just don't want to have to live with.

But you're young and will have plenty of opportunities, but good luck!

Yeah, a friend of mine kinda went through the same thing. He really liked this girl but I don't think anyone believed he would ask her out. Then one day I guess a bunch of his friends got him to do it and she said yes. I think she just broke up with him recently but still I admire his courage. We kind of tease him about it but he doesn't seem to mind too much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkDwarf

I went through that one time until i met the girl i am with now...

She is one year ahead of me and unpopular (I didn't know) You just have to pick the unpopular ones

I didn't "pick" this girl because she's popular but I think your right. It definately makes it a lot harder for me. I try not to take that into too much consideration. After all...If she doesn't like me just because I'm not as popular, I'm probably wasting my time anyways.

[Guardian]

Well it's hard to say so early in the round. I've been in the same situation before and I've learned that some girls just tend to be nice and talk to you out of their kindness. I admire you for your ways of thinking and speculations on the situation and if you truly believe she likes you, go for it. Some good questions would be, does she stare at you continuously? Does she seem to talk to you a lot more than other people? Do you make her laugh all the time and does she to you? Just remember that if you do go for it, just do it when she's single.

But there's also another problem lurking in my mind. Did anyone bother to think of the boyfriend? Is he seriously this popular guy in school that people just want to get a hold of, or does this couple get along? I'd hate to think of the idea of asking for this girl's number, considering she has a boyfriend. I for one, would hate for a guy to go after my girl as in this scenario. What if this isn't a popularity contest and instead the couple are really good friends who know each other? Maybe this isn't a fling as most people on this forum think of. The speculations other members are posting don't consider the story from both sides but instead lean towards the one that has been told.

[Prodigal]

Guardian has some GREAT advice... in fact, some of the best I've heard on here in a while. Very analytical, sees many viewpoints. Guardian's advice should most definitely be considered.

One thing though, is that some of that stuff just points to being closer friends. For example, she may talk to you a lot just because she enjoys your company or whatnot. Just because she does some of these things (except staring at you continuously) doesn't mean she thinks of you as more than a friend.

As for the second part of Guardian's post, they are very good questions to pose. My thoughts are this: maybe have her sign your yearbook (assuming you got one). Girls almost always leave their numbers in the yearbooks they sign. There's a sort of indirect way to get the number... it's really free of the awkwardness that you would have with the boyfriend. And as for his words, I think he's dead on, once again. Just because it seems to be a popularity contest doesn't necessarily mean that it IS one.

[CodeBoy]

my thoughts exactly Guardian. Yeah, they have been good friends for a while. The way I described it probably made it seem different but I have to admit they do get along pretty well. There's no way I'm going to ask her for her number though. I would feel like a jerk and disrepectful to both of them. I almost feel like maybe I shouldn't even be talking to her, It might give her the wrong impression.

[Tone]

Oh yeah, she has a boyfriend lolz

[mhussain]

Code boy

love is about respecting yourself not hanging ur dignity at the altar of sacrifice ....

no girl, repeat NO GIRL is worth your self respect ... no one

as long as you are honest and respect yourself ... you shoudl be alright .... by all means pursue ur love , but not at the cost of ur self respect

Hussain

[CodeBoy]

well school's out now and I probably won't see this girl again until August when school starts. I barely saw her at all the last week of school so I didn't get to talk to her or get her number or anything. Maybe by the end of summer I will forgotten about her but I doubt it. I hate to think I missed my chance and won't get another opportunity but it almost seems that way.

For some reason I still think I have a chance with this girl. I just can't go on thinking "what if?" because I will never know for sure what would have happened. I don't know how well I can handle rejection but I suppose I will be able to get over it eventually. Ugh, crushes suck....