Everything going good until now :(

[Monkey633]

Hey guys, first of all this is my first time here, so hello to everyone out there. I'm a 20 year old female from Chicago. I think it's awesome that there is a place where you can go to for advice on relationships.

So here is my dilema....if anyone has any good advice I'd really appreciate it.

I've been dating this guy for 2 1/2 months and we really hit it off when we met. However from the beginning he told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I respected that so we just continued seeing each other. However, a little while later he decided on his own (no pressure from me cause I honestly don't think I was read eiter) that he wanted to date me and awhile after that he fell in love with me (he told me first).

Now a couple nights ago he played the I think we should see other people card. During the whole relationship we always were open with each other about our feelings, so at random times he would start to panic when he thought about the future, but we always worked through them because he always said "my ife is better when your in it than when your not".

This time was different and when I heard those words "see other people" come out of his mouth I wanted to run away and not look back I was so mad. He went on saying, I love you and I don't want to loose you and I don't want things to change between us, but I can't be in a serious relationship right now. And he went on saying things like "cause eventually I'll **** everything up and hurt you more cause I'm a big **** up".

The other thing is that his parents are divorced and he's not close to any of his family. I feel like this thing that is going on between us is a personal problem, one he needs to work out and I feel like I don't want to abandon him if he needs me.

I guess what I'm asking is do any of you think it's a good idea to stick around a relationship in this type of situation. I'm afraid that I'm hoping something will come of it but nothing will. I do love this man and right now he's not pushing me away he pushing our relationship away. He still holds me at night, kisses me, tells me he loves me and it's like were still together minus the title.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just very confused about the whole situation and i need a little advice.

Thank You!

[youri21]

I think, if he talks about "****ing it up" eventually - he knows what he's talking about, it already happened to me to say the same thing to a girl. I knew I didn't want her for serious relationship but I it was was obvious she was falling in love, so I told her that, trying to break it right at that moment before it get's too far.

Sorry if this was harsh.

[Illusional]

well let's put it this way. everyone wants a solid relationship, LATER in life...but when you're young, you're not ready for the commitment. you and your bf might have develop a solid relationship, but the truth is that he wants to venture into the world and see what else lies out there. he loves what the two of you have found together, but he doesn't really realize the value of it. when he grows up, he's realize the mistake that he has made and will have to live with it. i would tell you not to wait, because why would you wait for someone you wants to go play while you're at home doing the housework? raverboy

[IceQueen]

Quote:

I guess what I'm asking is do any of you think it's a good idea to stick around a relationship in this type of situation.

Absolutely not. It's detrimental to your self-esteem. Tell him to give you a call when he sees enough other people, and cut off all contact.

[des21]

He knows himself better than anyone. Get out while you can. He seems to want to have the proverbial cake and eat it too. I believe he knew this from the very beginning. Pay close attention to what people tell you about themselves, they just might be telling the truth.